oh grow the f*** up!!!!

[Anonymous]

That's what I am going to tell my sil next time she want's to fight/argue with me............yup, I will win every fight from here on out because I will not respond the way she expects, I will simply tell her to grow up and realize that she has a choice, she has the choice to mold her dd into the child she wants her to be, she has a choice to be a better mother, she has a choice not to let the little things bother her so much......in everything that she does, says, expects, etc. she has a choice, and she needs to quit blaming me, my kids and her family for the way her dd behaves, because while my kids may teach her dd things it is up to sil to be the parent/mother and teach her kid not to do the shit my kids may or may not teach her. I will not allow ssil to place the blame on my kids anymore...........from now on its going to be "grow the fuck up and be a fucking parent to your kid, quit blaming everyone else for your failed attempts."

[mommamaggi]

What's wrong with coloring on walls? I let my kids do it, hell, I do it with them. They know they have a wall in their room for self expression and not to color on other people's walls... fuggit, let'um be kids.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

See, and even at that the things sil blames my kids for isn't even that bad.......coloring on the walls, and jumping on the beds is typical behaviour for a 2yo, they are still growing and testing there limits. Now when she moved here earlier this year her dd was mean to my ds, she would hit him, push him, kick him, pull his hair, and pinch him, my son has since learned to defend himself but I have to watch him closely so he doesn't hurt her. However I tell my son not to hit, or push but when I tell my niece not to hit or push sil gets all pissy and says its because I don't like her dd. It's really bullshit.

Quoting Anonymous:

My best friend does the same shit.  She blames her daughters bratty behavior and staying up all night on her roommates kid.  Sad thing is her roommates kid is very sweet and well mannered.  She does stay up late on the weekends but she will lay on the couch and watch a movie with her mom or play barbies in her room.  i hate when people blame their kids bratty behavior on other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

This is a perfect example of why I will not rent to people with kids.

Quoting mommamaggi:

What's wrong with coloring on walls? I let my kids do it, hell, I do it with them. They know they have a wall in their room for self expression and not to color on other people's walls... fuggit, let'um be kids.

[jack90]

Personally if your kids are speaking this bad language or misbehaving then unfortunately that dose back fire on you maybe try teaching your children what's right and wrong  so other children aren't affected by your bad parenting  you are both wrong here not just her stop playing the blame game and start trying to fix the problem  how about you take a grown up pill and stop  using foul language be an example you're a mother act like one.

[3lilindians]

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

We are renting so I can't really let them be that kind of kid. And as for the jumping on the beds my girls have a frame on there bed that dn came inches from hitting full force, I even told sil that and she didn't care.....so I told her fine, dn can jump on my bed and my girls' bed all she wants but as soon as she gets hurt not to get all pissed at me because its no longer my problem. Sil even told me that she is now going to have to start keeping her dd in her room because I don't like her, again not my problem, I don't want dn in my room when my girls are going to bed or when my son is sleeping or when my dh is sleeping, so that only leaves 1-3 hours, if dn jumps on my bed and ignores me then yes she is out, if dn and my ds are fighting, then yes dn leaves, if dn is screaming and won't stop then she is out of my room......I really honestly don't want dn in my room because my girls have toys that dn could choke on, my room isn't safe for her, but of course its just my way of saying I don't like my niece.

Quoting mommamaggi:

What's wrong with coloring on walls? I let my kids do it, hell, I do it with them. They know they have a wall in their room for self expression and not to color on other people's walls... fuggit, let'um be kids.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Wow you got all that out of this post......I do parent my kids, my kids language isn't the problem here, nor is their behaviour. Sil isn't entirely at fault but neither are my kids. Sil has a choice too, she can either chose to ignore the behaviour or she too can chose to be the parent and better the behavior, she has one kid to fix, I have three.....I am facing three different problem areas she is facing one. I am trying to figure out a punishment that works, I have one for my oldest and it workable great. However this wasn't about my kids, its about my sil needing to wake up and realize that she has a say in how her dd behaves and needs to stop blaming everyone else, sil has even said "my dd doesn't listen to me, she doesn't respect me, she won't follow my directions, blah blah blah" sil doesn't understand that her dd doesn't respect her, or listen to her because sil doesn't parent her, sil is just like a babysitter and a shitty one at that. I am in no way perfect but I am struggling with handleing the three kids I have, I got my tubes tied because I don't need nor do I want anymore kids.

Quoting jack90:

Personally if your kids are speaking this bad language or misbehaving then unfortunately that dose back fire on you maybe try teaching your children what's right and wrong  so other children aren't affected by your bad parenting  you are both wrong here not just her stop playing the blame game and start trying to fix the problem  how about you take a grown up pill and stop  using foul language be an example you're a mother act like one.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I don't blame you, I try (not good enough) to keep the crayons and pens/markers away from my ds and my dn but sometimes there is a stray left behind that the little ones find, then its all over.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is a perfect example of why I will not rent to people with kids.

Quoting mommamaggi:

What's wrong with coloring on walls? I let my kids do it, hell, I do it with them. They know they have a wall in their room for self expression and not to color on other people's walls... fuggit, let'um be kids.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

My kid didn't say a bad word, this is what my dd said "my mom doesn't want her in here because she doesn't like her" sil ignored the rest. My dd really said that "i don't like her....jumping on the beds"......sil just wanted to fight, she had a bad day at work and wanted an excuse to go out, like always. Either way if sil doesn't like her dd's behaviour then she needs to step up, parent her kid and change said behaviour. It's not my job or mils job to be a mother to her kid.

Quoting mommamaggi:

Oh My God!!! Your kid said a cuss word in front of my kid and as is required by the kid code my kid had to say it too!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

That is when you need to tell her "my house my rules don't like them there's the door" and stick to it. Your kids are not responsible fore her kids actions. The only time her argument is remotely valid is when you are living with other people who won't butt out. If everyone else is telling your child one thing and you tell them another they tend to follow the majority, but it sounds like that is not the case here. So yeah tell her to grow up and if your children and rules bother her so much to go home.

Quoting Anonymous:

Hahaha, the back story, sil is mad at me because I refuse to let her "baby"(she will 2 in like 3 weeks) jump on my girls' bed. My 3 kids ARE NOT allowed to jump on said bed and neither is my niece. Sil doesn't see why its ok to put "rules" on her baby. This is the second fight (where she has blamed my kids for her dd's behaviour) in the last month, last time I apologized, this time I simply don't care anymore. Sil is a two faced bitch and doesn't take care of her dd then gets pissed of when we treat her like our own. She also tried to bring my dd into our arguement and I refused, simply because I wasn't going to let my sil belittle my dd, like she does her own......all on all this is just a pityful post that started all because I won't let my niece just on the beds.

Quoting Sassy762: