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I'm not crying over the shooting

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Yes, it was a terrible terrible thing that happened, children never deserve to die, especially such a gruesome death. In no way am I saying that I don't care about what occurred: I feel for the families, it's very upsetting, but, I'm not crying about it, I don't hold rage for the killer, I'm not going to lose sleep over it, and I'm definitely not going to be holding any paranoia towards the safety of my children. Shit happens, some people shouldn't be allowed to walk this Earth, but this doesn't mean I have to let those worries rule my life.

I'm not heartless, I just react differently from most others. Anyone else feel this way?


I've read a lot of people saying I don't feel emphatic. No where do I see crying to describe the definition of the word empathy.

my twins are 5. If this happened to me personally, yes, I would be absolutely distraught, but I wouldn't blame anyone who didn't get effected by it the same way I would.
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by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 11:37 PM
Replies (161-170):
by Gold Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:01 AM

I agree with you. While this is terrible and I feel awful for the familes, I did not cry, nor am I going to change my whole life because of it. Shootings have been happening for years. Did everyone forget Columbine?!  It happened in 1999 and people still sent their kids to public schools and look how many of us made it out alive.

Yes, this shooting was a TERRIBLE thing and kids should NEVER die, but the actions of a deranged person should not cause us all to change our lives.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:02 AM

I think the word you were trying for is empathic, not emphatic.

Personally, I think empathy is as pointless as hatred.   Neither does anything more than make the individual feel righteous.

I think a good many people, when an event like this occurs, see it as only a vehicle for them to beg for attention because they are 'upset'.   Others, as a way for them to further their political agenda (usually to argue against gun control).

To me, ALL the reactions come down to one thing - INACTION - chest beating, internet debate, fundamental laziness, all with one purpose - to distance oneself from the events.  

And to distance oneself from one's own responsibility in the real problem - lack of proactive diagnosis and treatment for the severely mentally ill.   Mental health care, the unfunded mandate.   No insurance parity in many states, inadequate county mental health budgets (all those levies everyone voted down). 

This is of our making, but it is also ours to resolve.

by Silver Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Your feelings in reaction to this horrible event doesn't make you a bad person, things like this affect people in different ways and we all have our own way of coping. It's the fact that you felt the need to post your feelings of indifference that I find insensitive and completely unnecessary.
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:16 AM
People are effected ny different events in different ways. Nothing to feel bad about.
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by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:17 AM

oh I see so your logic says as long as it DIDNT happen to you, then its not your concern.

But until it happens to you, and if it should happen to you, and if everyone acted and responded like YOU are currently responding Im sure you would really feel supported by your COMMUNITY.

So ya.... I cant say you are very good with empathy.

by Anonymous 40 on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:21 AM
I'm not going to disagree. There is something off about 75% of people in their 20's.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I know it isn't all mama, but there is something messed up with the 20 generation. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Don't lump us all together. I am in my 20s and this has me very upset.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

And this is where AMERICA fucked up! These people right here. THIS GENERATION THE 20 SOMETHING!

by Emerald Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 1:24 AM
Hey, everyone deals with stuff in their own way and in their time.
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by Anonymous 41 on Dec. 15, 2012 at 2:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Empathy doesn't mean you have to cry.  It means that you can put yourself in someone elses shoes and feel what they are feeling - so.....

I don't usually cry but I did cry today watching the president talk to America. Not full out bawling but tears. Tears for all those innocent children who died in terror and all those parents - who honestly I don't want to even pretend to be in their shoes. To equate a mass murder of little kids to "shit happens" kind of makes me think that you do lack empathy. We don't live in a bubble - what happens around us should affect us.


by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 2:25 AM
Everyone reacts different. Nothing wrong with that.
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by Anonymous 42 on Dec. 15, 2012 at 2:47 AM
Empathy is to feel what other people are going through and I am pretty sure a lot of people are crying and won't sleep tonight, so no you are not showing empathy! You are not showing sympathy either, you said that this doesn't affect you! It should, because society stops functioning properly if people don't care about others.
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