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my anonymous confession ...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
I struggle daily with myself. I fight mental illness everyday. I'm not violent and would never and could never hurt someone else. But myself? I can hurt myself. I'm my worste enemy. I know I should be happy everyday and grateful that I have a healthy child. I love him very much and I'm very grateful but I'm still not happy. I'm not happy with myself, my life, where I am , or anything else on a daily basis....

There are days I would rather be dead and I don't make the best decisions around it ... I know I need more help than I am receiving but I'm not sure I want it. I don't know what I want in this life or at times if I even want this life.

I'm an amazing listener and can be the best shoulder for someone or advice giver. When it comes to myself? I don't take the advice. I wouldn't and don't wish these feelings on my worste enemy. Maybe some day ill be okay ...
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:28 AM
Did I write this?
1BoyManyGirls
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:28 AM
((Hugs)) I hope you can feel at peace with yourself someday soon. I don't know exactly if or what kind of help you're receiving now, but it sounds like you need some counseling.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:33 AM
I go to a weekly appointment I'm just so afraid to be completely honest. I'm afraid of being inpatient again and forever.


Quoting 1BoyManyGirls:

((Hugs)) I hope you can feel at peace with yourself someday soon. I don't know exactly if or what kind of help you're receiving now, but it sounds like you need some counseling.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:34 AM
If you feel the same way I'm so very sorry and your in my thoughts and prayers.


Quoting Anonymous:

Did I write this?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:36 AM

I have been there and I still struggle with it today but not as bad , please get some help and learn to enjoy yourself . It took me leaving my 3 month old baby girl to go into a mental hospital for a month to get on the right page with my life :( 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:40 AM
My son currently lives with a family member. I just recently got out of a mental hospital. It was my 4th time and it was an awful experience. I know its never a good experience but it was just horrible. The hospital itself was an amazing hospital with awesome staff it was just the events which made me have a really hard time....


Quoting Anonymous:

I have been there and I still struggle with it today but not as bad , please get some help and learn to enjoy yourself . It took me leaving my 3 month old baby girl to go into a mental hospital for a month to get on the right page with my life :( 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:44 AM
I feel like you. I'm sorry, it's not easy. : (
((Hugs))
teeloffel
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:45 AM

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to tell you, but I tend to think that in order to truly get help, you need to be honest with your therapist.  Unless you're seriously afraid that they would make you inpatient again.  I'm sorry, I hope it  gets better for you soon.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:47 AM
Thank you. Hugs to you as well


Quoting Anonymous:

I feel like you. I'm sorry, it's not easy. : (

((Hugs))

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:49 AM
I know that she will. I see her once this week then again after Christmas. I'm willing to go after the holiday but not before.


Quoting teeloffel:

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to tell you, but I tend to think that in order to truly get help, you need to be honest with your therapist.  Unless you're seriously afraid that they would make you inpatient again.  I'm sorry, I hope it  gets better for you soon.


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