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How to handle this?

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:14 AM
  • 9 Replies

My dad and step mom have been married for 12yrs,she was also my mom's bff for over 30yrs.She was not the reason my parents divorced.She and my dad ran into each other 5 yrs after my parents divorced.My mom thought she was an idiot for getting with him since she knew all the good/bad about him.Since my mom confided in her.

She and I have not gotten along for many years.I still have issues that she was my moms bff and still got with him! I love my dad, but he is not a catch.The story is too long, but she has said some not so nice things about me to my brother and sil in the last year,Just recently,told them she was going to cuss me out.My brother got pissed and had some words with her.Well,she must have told my dad and he and my brother got in a huge fight.Ending with my dad saying,she is his wife and he will side with her,but he chewed her out for running her mouth about me.

Because of this she did not come to Thanksgiving at my IL's.Which is fine,but my dad had a stoke in Jan. and she made him drive the 25mins to my IL's.If I had known this I would have picked him up!

I had a talk with my dad and told him I have had enough and want nothing to do with her(her own kids/grandchildren have nothing to do with her).He said fine,but was rushed to the er Sunday morning and she did not call us! My dad finally did in the afternoon to tell my brother and I they admitted him.He had surgery today and has pneumonia.I called the hospital to check on him,when he did not answer the phone in his room.The nurse told me that she was there in the room!!Nurse said she could not give info without access code!Which I have to get from my step mom!and she will not give it to me.So, if something happens to him and she does not call us, we will not know!!!

I hav called his room-no answer,his house-no answer!!I swear if I catch her,I will kill her!

On Sunday,my nephew had a BB tournament and my dad and SM were there.I walked past my dad and SM with my kids(9and 3),he spoke and hugged and kissed,sh didn't even make eye contact with my kids! This I did not know until the drive home when my 9yro dd started crying and asking why her mawmaw did not talk to her,but talked to my brothers boys.

A little history,in Nov.'08 my Nana died,Nov.'08 my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died April 12,2009.I had my son Dc 30,2009.I was diagnosed with cancer April 2010,had treatment for 14mos and almost died July 28,2010.My dd dog passed with kidney cancer April 30,2010.So, my dd is VERY emotional! And, I am very protective. My SM dropped ,my dad off at the skating rink for my dd's b-day party on the 17th if Nov. and did not com in or call and wish my dd happy b-day.My dd was very hurt and upset.

My question is do I lt this slide or put her in her place and say fuck it all!

Sorry so long!I hope I got to the point.

Thank you!

"People don't have a pit bull problem, pit bulls have a people problem."


First they came for the Pit Bulls
and they banned them and killed them
their owners cried out in horror but I did not object
because I did not own pit bulls.

Then they came for the Rottweilers
and they banned them and muzzled them
their owners cried out in protest but I did not object
because I did not own Rottweilers.
Today they have come for my dogs
and they will ban them and take them from me
as I cry out in outrage and anger no one objects
because they do not own my dogs.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:14 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this

Put her in her place once and for all....what a TWAT

Arabellas_Mommy
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd put her in her place and not let her near my dd. I am a very protective momma too. And if I can help it I'll do my best to keep my dd from being hurt for as long as I can. I get that you guys don't get along, but she formed a relationship with you dd, just to be a b*tch an ignore her now?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Byrd15
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:29 AM
That's tough. You wanted nothing to do with her and you got your wish.

I'm in the very same boat. We refuse to have DH's step mother around us or in contact with us because shes an evil bitch who can't respect us. (Lived with her for 5 months so I tried lol) So we lost all her side of the family and most contact with his dad. We're a military family so we're never close so it's better this way for US.



As for you... I'd say sit down and apologize for "being so rude", kiss her nasty ass feet, and make her happy. Your dad needs your very much right now!

If you need to talk PM me. :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
pitbull4me
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:35 AM

thanks,but I have never said anything to her.Only to my dad.I honestly could not sit down and be nice.I do not care how she treats me.But, she made the huge mistake of being hurting my daughter!My kids have no idea that anything has happened between us.I feel they need grandparents. But, I will not avoid her like I have.Thanks! and I just might take you up on it!! 

Quoting Byrd15:

That's tough. You wanted nothing to do with her and you got your wish.

I'm in the very same boat. We refuse to have DH's step mother around us or in contact with us because shes an evil bitch who can't respect us. (Lived with her for 5 months so I tried lol) So we lost all her side of the family and most contact with his dad. We're a military family so we're never close so it's better this way for US.



As for you... I'd say sit down and apologize for "being so rude", kiss her nasty ass feet, and make her happy. Your dad needs your very much right now!

If you need to talk PM me. :)


"People don't have a pit bull problem, pit bulls have a people problem."


First they came for the Pit Bulls
and they banned them and killed them
their owners cried out in horror but I did not object
because I did not own pit bulls.

Then they came for the Rottweilers
and they banned them and muzzled them
their owners cried out in protest but I did not object
because I did not own Rottweilers.
Today they have come for my dogs
and they will ban them and take them from me
as I cry out in outrage and anger no one objects
because they do not own my dogs.

pitbull4me
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:37 AM
1 mom liked this

oh, my kids just love her!and I do my best to keep all of this from them.

Quoting Arabellas_Mommy:

I'd put her in her place and not let her near my dd. I am a very protective momma too. And if I can help it I'll do my best to keep my dd from being hurt for as long as I can. I get that you guys don't get along, but she formed a relationship with you dd, just to be a b*tch an ignore her now?


"People don't have a pit bull problem, pit bulls have a people problem."


First they came for the Pit Bulls
and they banned them and killed them
their owners cried out in horror but I did not object
because I did not own pit bulls.

Then they came for the Rottweilers
and they banned them and muzzled them
their owners cried out in protest but I did not object
because I did not own Rottweilers.
Today they have come for my dogs
and they will ban them and take them from me
as I cry out in outrage and anger no one objects
because they do not own my dogs.

Byrd15
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Anytime I understand.
Trust me we have thought about turning back and kissing DH Step moms feet but its just not worth it. Her and her whole family don't give a shit about us except her husband who is my father in law.... So I understand.


Quoting pitbull4me:

thanks,but I have never said anything to her.Only to my dad.I honestly could not sit down and be nice.I do not care how she treats me.But, she made the huge mistake of being hurting my daughter!My kids have no idea that anything has happened between us.I feel they need grandparents. But, I will not avoid her like I have.Thanks! and I just might take you up on it!! 


Quoting Byrd15:

That's tough. You wanted nothing to do with her and you got your wish.


I'm in the very same boat. We refuse to have DH's step mother around us or in contact with us because shes an evil bitch who can't respect us. (Lived with her for 5 months so I tried lol) So we lost all her side of the family and most contact with his dad. We're a military family so we're never close so it's better this way for US.





As for you... I'd say sit down and apologize for "being so rude", kiss her nasty ass feet, and make her happy. Your dad needs your very much right now!


If you need to talk PM me. :)


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
knoxmomof2
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:48 AM

I think it's tough to manage these situations.... but you have to do just that. Ignore the drama. Realize that your Dad is a grown man and he has the right to choose his wife, whether you like her or not. She shouldn't mistreat you, but we can't control what others do.. only what we do and how we respond to others.

Be civil, dont' go out of your way to be fake, just be you. If she tries to start anything, ignore her, change the subject, excuse yourself to take care of "something the kids need" (they're good for getting away from situations like this). If it gets bad enough, kiss your Dad goodbye and tell her goodbye on your way out the door. About your DAd, if you would like a more informed role in his health, you might want to talk to him about somehow getting you listed as an approved person if he is hospitalized, etc.. not sure what you would do exactly, but I'm sure he could ask his Dr. Good luck!

beerebelly
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:07 AM

 You told them you want nothing to do with her. Then when she ignores/doesn't call you guys, you get upset? You can't have it both ways.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:11 AM

Her place is as your Dad's next of kin. She can legally be that. I would suck it up and be charming to her. It's best for your kids, and best for your Dad. Life is short-being friendly to an asshole won't hurt you and it will be good for your Dad and your kids.

I couldn't STAND my MIL-I sucked it up and got along with the biotch. And until the day she dropped dead, no one but her and my husband ever knew we had  had any problems.

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