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A vent, but open to other points of view.

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:51 AM
  • 25 Replies

DH and I both have issues with PTSD stemming from our experiences in the military.  Unfortunately for us, our personality types differ in such a way that our "types", or reactions, to our stimuli are completely opposite, so we can't relate to one another when we have our attacks.

DH has recently been going to the VA to get evaluated for disability compensation, and it seems that the psychological evaluation is beginning to take its toll.  He is becoming extremely sensitive to relatively minor issues, and his reaction type is that of aggression (while mine is defensive).

An example of this is something that happened on Sunday.  Of course our money is tight right now ('tis the season!), and we have been saving up our money so that we can visit my family in Michigan for the holiday (we live in southeast Pennsylvania).  Long story short, we got into a tiff, and I used the term "beg, borrow, and plead", to which he responded violently... not towards me, but he kicked over a table and left for work.  Of course, this triggered an attack of my own, which led to an episode of sleep paralysis for me.  

I would never consider leaving him, because I am very confident he would never hurt the baby or me.  I know this because he has had attacks in the middle of the night when hearing a loud bang outside our window, and instead of lashing out towards the first living thing he saw, he threw himself over the baby and me to protect us.  It's just getting difficult to handle.  We are looking into both individual and joint therapy through the VA... but we have to wait for his claim to process... ugh.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
melschlegs
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:53 AM

Bump.

NNB
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:53 AM
Aw hun, I dnt have much advice, just hope the love u have for each other and ur baby pull u both through this. Best wishes
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melschlegs
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:54 AM

Thank you.  I'm sure we'll be fine, I'm just worried for both of our mental health, lol.

Quoting NNB:

Aw hun, I dnt have much advice, just hope the love u have for each other and ur baby pull u both through this. Best wishes


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:54 AM
With mine it got worse before it got better. The entire process of it just pushed him further off the deep end. The evaluations and all the poking and prodding. His was extremely bad but many years later he is able to control it more. Sorry for being anon but this was a huge hurdle in our lives and I don't want people knowing who I am, or who he is. He's in my profile pic.
-spork2.0-
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:56 AM
Bump. Hopefully you get the help you need.

Im not far from you, in Philly.
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CrimsonRadiance
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't have any advice unfortunately. Just hopes that you can make it work. :) 

melschlegs
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:57 AM

I completely understand... I've been lucky with how mild his is (comparatively speaking).  Mine was rough enough - I couldn't sleep without a light on for a month after my evaluation, and I still am having issues with my nerves.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours!  It's rough.

Quoting Anonymous:

With mine it got worse before it got better. The entire process of it just pushed him further off the deep end. The evaluations and all the poking and prodding. His was extremely bad but many years later he is able to control it more. Sorry for being anon but this was a huge hurdle in our lives and I don't want people knowing who I am, or who he is. He's in my profile pic.


melschlegs
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:58 AM

We're in Drexel Hill, lol.  I'm brand new to the area, originally from Michigan.

Quoting -spork2.0-:

Bump. Hopefully you get the help you need.

Im not far from you, in Philly.


kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Been there, but my husband agression was towards me don't give up remember something like this is a day by day process,
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Youngmother456
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Question????
What happens when you got into a sleep paralysis? I only ask because if he left for work then I assume you were home alone with your kid. Do you have a system so when that happens the baby is safe?

I am not bashing just curious
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