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Is she asking too much or am I being uptight?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 244 Replies

My SIL lives 2 hours away and she wants me, dh, and dd (18 months) to come up and spend Christmas Eve with her husband's family (whom I barely know). We'd obviously have to spend the night, but that means we'll miss Christmas morning at our house.  She thinks that it won't matter because DD is too young to understand Christmas morning.  I disagree.  While she might not get the whole Santa thing yet, she will be very excited to see presents under the tree when she wakes up.  Also, later that day, we go to my parent's house for a big family Christmas party/dinner, so I feel like an overnight out of town trip the night before would be a lot to handle for my little girl (and me!) because she never sleeps well when we're away from home.  It's just added stress.  I don't even know my SIL's husband's family that well! 

Typically Christmas Eve, we go to church for evening mass then go out to eat somewhere.  Then we come home and dh and I exchange a gift or two, then it's off to bed.  I love our quiet Christmas Eves because it's our time together without all the craziness of the holiday. 

So when the idea was first presented, I said no.  Then SIL asked us again, and we still said no thanks.  Then I hear again that my MIL is now saying how much SIL really wants us there, etc.  Why is "no" so hard to except??  Am I being unreasonable??

**I should also mention that in the past SIL comes down to our house Christmas morning for brunch so we DO spend Christmas with DH's family.  This is the first year she's wanted us to come up to her husband's family party.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:56 AM
7 moms liked this

2 hours, imo is not much to drive there and back home so you could have Christmas morning at your house.

smushy79
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:58 AM
10 moms liked this

 No you are not being unreasonable. I wouldnt go either.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:59 AM

I would have said no Thank you as well. We don't go anywhere for Chstimas eve, as into staying the night at others. We always have Christmas morning at home. Nothing wrong with that.

spooky415
by Emerald Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:59 AM
just stand your ground and say you guys want to start your own traditions.

DH's aunt always wants us to spend the night on Xmas eve. I refuse to do it. we already have to run all over god's green earth on Xmas-I at least want to sleep in my own bed the night before.
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darcibeisheim
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:00 AM
5 moms liked this

 why do is all or nothing.. you can easily go spend a few hours and then drive home, even if it means leaving the party a little early..

But if you don't want to go, then don't go, but make sure you give your DH equal oppurtunity to spend the holidays with his family, as you spend with your.

PinkyPan
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:00 AM
2 moms liked this

No, you are not. I do not know about you but when someone does not except no for an answer I tend to dig my heels in. You kindly declined and now they are attempting to pressure you to do things their way. I would just tell them should they ask AGIAN thanks you but we already made our plans for Christmas morning. If they continue then I would not hesitate to say "I appreciate that you want our company but I would appreciate if you would respect our decision."

fallenstars
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:01 AM
I would say no. My sister lives an hr and a half away and so were going tomorrow to Exchange our gifts with them and see the kids etc. We go early in the am and then leave by about 4 in the afternoon
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AngryBob
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:01 AM
"No" is a full and complete sentence all by its little bitty self. Just keep saying it. Or, "no, thank you", for added courtesy ;)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Agree

Quoting Anonymous:

2 hours, imo is not much to drive there and back home so you could have Christmas morning at your house.

matofour
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:02 AM
4 moms liked this
Why would you have to spend the night?
Two hours is nothing as far as driving goes.
Leave at bedtime, she falls asleep. You get home and put her in her bed.
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