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Just some thoughts from me (regarding Sandy Hook)

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:34 AM
  • 13 Replies
2 moms liked this
Okay, I am just as heartbroken as the next person about the horrible tragedy that happened. My thoughts are with the families of those children, and I hope they are able to eventually heal from this. I can't imagine anything worse as a parent. Now, that being said...

Aside from the political posts (which I have been trying to avoid), there is something I've been seeing a lot of that honestly pisses me off. That is everybody throwing around statements about how we should be appreciating our children, and not worrying about anything else. This is a sentiment I definitely agree with, but the posts that people are saying it in are really ridiculous and inappropriate to bring something like that up. 2 examples I can think of:

1. The mom "cancelling Christmas" (which really meant nothing more than not giving her kids gifts because they are being absolute hellions). Apparently, in cafemom land, we should all stop disciplining our children, and let them behave however they damn well please, because at least they are alive. I really hope I'm not the only one that sees how foolish that is.
2. The grammar post about affect vs. effect. I saw a comment along the lines of "do you really think this is important in our time of need?" First of all, let me be totally clear on something (keeping in mind this is all JMO). We can certainly all grieve for those families, but unless you are directly connected to one of the children or adults that were killed, you are really nothing more than an onlooker to this tragedy. It is not "our time of need." And aside from that, there really is no need to bring up the shooting in every single, completely unrelated post on here.

So ya know what? If somebody is having a bad day, and they want to vent, or get advice, there is really no reason to say to them "well you should just be happy that your children are alive." If people make typical cafemom bitch posts about grammar, or PA, or "you're a bad mom if...", etc. then there is no need to tell everybody that this is just unimportant right now because 20 children died. If somebody wants to tell us her kids aren't getting any Christmas gifts because they are being brags, you should really just shut up if your only opinion is "you should be grateful that they are alive and give them all of their gifts anyways."

I'm sure this won't be popular at all, but I wanted to speak my mind. Please people, by bringing this tragedy into every post, you are trivializing it, and I honestly think you are no better than those who are using it to push a political or religious agenda. That is all. Have a nice day!!
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:43 AM
Bump
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DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:46 AM
I actually agree with you, but I may be the only one lol.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:48 AM

Great post! I completely agree. This is what I was trying to get across in all those "Are you sending your child to school today?" posts. If you are not directly involved (live close by or a family member) than there is absolutely no reason to change anything about your normal day to day lives. The odds of this happening in your area did not increase because of the CT shooting.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:50 AM
I think people don't take enough time to stop and think about what just happened. Everyone moves on the next day and bitch and complain about stupid shit that really doesn't matter. And that's the point. People take life for granted and sometimes when things like this happen it makes you realize just how short it is and anything can happen. How about not dictating to people what they can and can not say. That is just ridiculous.
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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Didn't you just do the same thing though? Lol now who's being ridiculous.

Ya know what's? My DF's aunt is dying of terminal cancer, my son is being evaluated for autism, and my job sucks ass. All of those things were true before Friday, and all of those things are still true. Who are you to tell somebody they can't complain, just because somebody else may have it worse?

I'm not dictating what people can and cannot say. I'm simply giving my opinion on how ridiculous it is to expect people to not talk about their problems, or just talk about WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT just because a tragedy happened.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think people don't take enough time to stop and think about what just happened. Everyone moves on the next day and bitch and complain about stupid shit that really doesn't matter. And that's the point. People take life for granted and sometimes when things like this happen it makes you realize just how short it is and anything can happen. How about not dictating to people what they can and can not say. That is just ridiculous.
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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:08 AM
I'm glad to know I'm not alone in these thoughts. :)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:28 AM
I've never told someone they can't complain. Nor was I saying someone can't complain because someone else has it worse. I was referring to your examples which have to do with spelling errors. Yes that is ridiculous to bitch about. Even w/o everything that's happened. Women in general on this site nit pick every little thing. So someone with a level head might say get over it who cares the way someone spells there's bigger things to worry about. Or a woman might think it is petty to take away Christmas when we should cherish the time we have with our kids. Not just because they could die tomorrow, but because they grow fast and you might look back and wish you wouldn't have taken away one of few holidays you'll get with your child. Not saying you can't discipline. I hardly come on here so I don't know what posts you are referring to, but I find it ridiculous to make a post trying to tell other people what not to say. Everyone handles things differently and some people don't move on from something so tragic so easily.





Quoting briansmommy2010:

Didn't you just do the same thing though? Lol now who's being ridiculous.









Ya know what's? My DF's aunt is dying of terminal cancer, my son is being evaluated for autism, and my job sucks ass. All of those things were true before Friday, and all of those things are still true. Who are you to tell somebody they can't complain, just because somebody else may have it worse?









I'm not dictating what people can and cannot say. I'm simply giving my opinion on how ridiculous it is to expect people to not talk about their problems, or just talk about WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT just because a tragedy happened.







Quoting Anonymous:

I think people don't take enough time to stop and think about what just happened. Everyone moves on the next day and bitch and complain about stupid shit that really doesn't matter. And that's the point. People take life for granted and sometimes when things like this happen it makes you realize just how short it is and anything can happen. How about not dictating to people what they can and can not say. That is just ridiculous.
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allycally
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Yep
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baquick
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Nope! I do too lol

Quoting DevinAnnesmom:

I actually agree with you, but I may be the only one lol.
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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:20 AM
It's not about moving on, it's about realizing that not every single post needs to have some mention of the shooting. As I said, I feel the more you mention it in completely unrelated posts, the more people become desensitized yo what a tragedy it really was. Not only that, but I personally don't want to be reminded of it in every single post. Sometimes I like a mindless, pointless post, and I don't want to go into it thinking "oh this is just another stupid grammar nazi post" inly to find out that yet again all some people want to talk about is a horrible tragic event.

And again, I'm not telling anybody what to do. By all means, bring up the shooting in every post, no matter how unrelated. But I have the right to be annoyed by it.


Quoting Anonymous:

I've never told someone they can't complain. Nor was I saying someone can't complain because someone else has it worse. I was referring to your examples which have to do with spelling errors. Yes that is ridiculous to bitch about. Even w/o everything that's happened. Women in general on this site nit pick every little thing. So someone with a level head might say get over it who cares the way someone spells there's bigger things to worry about. Or a woman might think it is petty to take away Christmas when we should cherish the time we have with our kids. Not just because they could die tomorrow, but because they grow fast and you might look back and wish you wouldn't have taken away one of few holidays you'll get with your child. Not saying you can't discipline. I hardly come on here so I don't know what posts you are referring to, but I find it ridiculous to make a post trying to tell other people what not to say. Everyone handles things differently and some people don't move on from something so tragic so easily.







Quoting briansmommy2010:

Didn't you just do the same thing though? Lol now who's being ridiculous.











Ya know what's? My DF's aunt is dying of terminal cancer, my son is being evaluated for autism, and my job sucks ass. All of those things were true before Friday, and all of those things are still true. Who are you to tell somebody they can't complain, just because somebody else may have it worse?











I'm not dictating what people can and cannot say. I'm simply giving my opinion on how ridiculous it is to expect people to not talk about their problems, or just talk about WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT just because a tragedy happened.










Quoting Anonymous:

I think people don't take enough time to stop and think about what just happened. Everyone moves on the next day and bitch and complain about stupid shit that really doesn't matter. And that's the point. People take life for granted and sometimes when things like this happen it makes you realize just how short it is and anything can happen. How about not dictating to people what they can and can not say. That is just ridiculous.
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