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Tell me what you would do

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

Thanksgiving I got a surprise message from my old high school sweet heart on FB, and we have text everyday since then and have talked on the phone late into the night a few times a week. We are both single and surprisingly fell back in love with each other, YAY, lol. He is planning on moving to where I am in the Spring after he visits for my graduation. I want to do all this, I did tell myself that I was not going to move fast into another relationship after my disaster of a marriage, but I want this more than I have ever wanted anything. Now to my little issue, lol, he wants to put me on his cell phone plan it will only cost him an extra $10 a month and we would share unlimited talk and text and the Internet (never had a fancy phone before so this is all new to me). I am perfectly happy with my phone I have right now, yes it is a cheap phone and my parents pay for it for me right now (that is another story, they are helping me till I finish with college) just $25 a month for unlimted text and 250 talk minutes. He wants to send his phone he has now to me once he gets a new one, I have told him no but he wants to and said i can't stop him. I don't want to be one of those people you see in the store with the fancy phone that she can't afford and using FS and who's kids are on medicaid because she is currently not working in order to focus on school and her kids. Yes, I am trying to make a better life for my kids but I don't want to be judged by people. WWYD?

And please no bashing, you will just be ignored.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
StrangeDays
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:34 AM
2 moms liked this
Lol, it's a phone, just go for it. Allowing him to put you on his plan doesn't mean you have to marry him (unless that's what YOU want).

And honestly, who cares if people are going to judge you? People will find a reason to judge you no matter what. They don't know your story, they don't know your situation. Let them drive themselves mad by judging you. No skin off your back, you know?
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vivi_la_juicy
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:37 AM
I agree with this! Go for it! :)

Quoting StrangeDays:

Lol, it's a phone, just go for it. Allowing him to put you on his plan doesn't mean you have to marry him (unless that's what YOU want).



And honestly, who cares if people are going to judge you? People will find a reason to judge you no matter what. They don't know your story, they don't know your situation. Let them drive themselves mad by judging you. No skin off your back, you know?
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LilliesValley
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:39 AM

Well I would tell him that you want to wait until the relationship develops more. If there's nothing wrong with the plan you have and your happy with it, then be happy with it. If your relationship goes south next week how are you going to feel if he ends up suing you over the bill or cancellation fee or whatever. What if he changes his mind and doesn't move until fall of next year or never? Plus, I'm the sort of person that when I tell someone no, I want them to listen to me. We can discuss it again later, but don't keep hastling me about it now. Tell him when he moves where you are you'll revisit the idea, but for right now you want to do what you are doing. You need to set limits now or the next thing he wants may be to move in together and if you have a hard time telling him no about a phone you may have a harder time later too.

eesmommy
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:43 AM
I say go for it. Dh was/is like that. When we were first married he went to great lengths to make sure I had what he thought I needed... or what he wanted me to have. For example.... it is important to HIM that I carry a nice purse, he has bought me one new coach and 2 like new ones, well, 3 actually but two were so much alike I sold one to a friend :-) . Anywho, he doesn't mind me buying used clothing and decorations and jewelry and whatever but it IS important to him that it looks nice and looks new. If this guy is wanting to bend over backwards for you, just graciously accept it and look for little ways to repay him. Simple little things. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth :-)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:47 AM

It's just a phone I know he keeps telling me that, lol. It would be so much easier if he was here now....lol.

Quoting StrangeDays:

Lol, it's a phone, just go for it. Allowing him to put you on his plan doesn't mean you have to marry him (unless that's what YOU want).

And honestly, who cares if people are going to judge you? People will find a reason to judge you no matter what. They don't know your story, they don't know your situation. Let them drive themselves mad by judging you. No skin off your back, you know?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:55 AM

I'm just not use to someone wanting to take care of me. We are already talking about moving with each other once my kids get to know him, he even wants to take care of my kids and be a positive male role model for them (they don't ever see or hear from their father). He has a bunch of things planned for when he visits in May for my graduation, one of them being he is taking my family all out for my graduation dinner so that he can apologize for being a stupid teenager, lol. And there isn't much I can do for him and he knows that but I hate it, lol. It is so much so fast, kind of scary, lol.

Quoting eesmommy:

I say go for it. Dh was/is like that. When we were first married he went to great lengths to make sure I had what he thought I needed... or what he wanted me to have. For example.... it is important to HIM that I carry a nice purse, he has bought me one new coach and 2 like new ones, well, 3 actually but two were so much alike I sold one to a friend :-) . Anywho, he doesn't mind me buying used clothing and decorations and jewelry and whatever but it IS important to him that it looks nice and looks new. If this guy is wanting to bend over backwards for you, just graciously accept it and look for little ways to repay him. Simple little things. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth :-)


deenakate
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:56 AM
It's just a phone
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM

That's just it, it is developing more and FAST. He is activily looking for work in his feild around my area, he just has to wait till his time is up with the National Guard which is in May, then he is going to reup once he moves here. We are planning on moving in with each other once my kids are use to him, don't want to force them into this too fast when they are so use to living with my parents. And he is wanting help my parents out by helping me. I have never had someone that wants to take care of me...and my kids which to me is a major plus in his direction.

Quoting LilliesValley:

Well I would tell him that you want to wait until the relationship develops more. If there's nothing wrong with the plan you have and your happy with it, then be happy with it. If your relationship goes south next week how are you going to feel if he ends up suing you over the bill or cancellation fee or whatever. What if he changes his mind and doesn't move until fall of next year or never? Plus, I'm the sort of person that when I tell someone no, I want them to listen to me. We can discuss it again later, but don't keep hastling me about it now. Tell him when he moves where you are you'll revisit the idea, but for right now you want to do what you are doing. You need to set limits now or the next thing he wants may be to move in together and if you have a hard time telling him no about a phone you may have a harder time later too.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:02 PM

LOL, I know.

Quoting deenakate:

It's just a phone


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:04 PM

Who cares what people think? They don't know how you got the phone and that you aren't paying for it... so fuck them.

I say, if he's insisting on giving you the phone and paying the bill... then take it! :)

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