Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do SAHM's need to get out? Advice needed!

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:55 PM
  • 5 Replies
Hi :)
I'm 23 & the proud Mommy of 2 beautiful DD's, ages 1 & 2. I'm a SAHM, DF works 12 hour days & we can't afford child care. He'd prefer it if I stayed home anyway. I have nothing against working or staying home.
My Mom died last year & I took it hard. Since then, it seem like everyone in my family is worried & on my a$$ that I need to get out more. I do normal errands. I really enjoy going shopping w/ my girls & sometimes by myself. I am part of many online yard sales & meet new people weekly to buy things. I hardly ever drink (I've been "drunk" once since I became a parent) & don't go to the bars. I don't really do "girl time" with friends because all of my friends lead their own lives & are on a different wave length from me. I don't see too much of my family because they are busy. I do a lot of holidays at my house because I want to start my own traditions. I can't complain about my life. I feel blessed to be able to spend so much time with my girls. Is this unusual? Do I need adult social time w/ people other then DF to be mentally healthy? I have depression, I should add. I'm coming to terms with my grief and am slowly finding myself again. I don't know if I'm withdrawn & fooling myself.
Any advice or stories would be appreciated :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:13 PM

I am no doctor but the fact that you enjoy spending time with your family and your kids seems pretty healthy and normal to me.  I homeschool my kids and I have no real "social life" outside of my husband and kids and I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it.  It sounds like you are devoted to your family.  There isn't enough of that in this country these days :)  You said you have depression issues?  Has that been your whole life or just since you have had your children and since the passing of your mom?  The only thing I can say about that is, time heals all wounds.  If you feel anxiety about not having "you" time maybe take a class once a week that interests you or join a gym.  Excerise is supposed to aid depression right? Like I said before my entire world is my husband and kids and the girlfriends I do have I just have phone relationships with for the most part.   I think it is so weird when people say those things to me.  Don't you need you time?  I don't, I made the decision to get married and have kids and that is my priority at this stage of my life and I know it is shocking to some people but I actually enjoy spending time with my kids and husband and don't really want to be away from them.  Good luck with everything.  Merry Christmas:) 

egbkeb
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:30 PM
See that's exactly how I feel! I guess they think I'm dove head first into my family to hide from grieving. I'll admit that I did use my family as a way to cope, but I didn't hide. I just made myself busy taking care of them, let my DF and babies heal my broken spirit & went to therapy. I'll admit that there's moments where I want "me" time, but I don't crave social interaction (I get that from the phone and social medias). I crave a hotel room, me & a bed for a few hours lol.
I've always had well self controlled, mild depression but it was worsened by my loss.
I've come to the conclusion, especially now that I'm not alone with feeling content just being Mommy lol, that my family needs to relax lol


Quoting Anonymous:

I am no doctor but the fact that you enjoy spending time with your family and your kids seems pretty healthy and normal to me.  I homeschool my kids and I have no real "social life" outside of my husband and kids and I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it.  It sounds like you are devoted to your family.  There isn't enough of that in this country these days :)  You said you have depression issues?  Has that been your whole life or just since you have had your children and since the passing of your mom?  The only thing I can say about that is, time heals all wounds.  If you feel anxiety about not having "you" time maybe take a class once a week that interests you or join a gym.  Excerise is supposed to aid depression right? Like I said before my entire world is my husband and kids and the girlfriends I do have I just have phone relationships with for the most part.   I think it is so weird when people say those things to me.  Don't you need you time?  I don't, I made the decision to get married and have kids and that is my priority at this stage of my life and I know it is shocking to some people but I actually enjoy spending time with my kids and husband and don't really want to be away from them.  Good luck with everything.  Merry Christmas:) 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Life is good.  I love hearing about other families who operate the same way me and my family do.  Have a very  Merry Christmas:)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I have 3 girls and dont feel the need to get away often. I think for the most part we live in a society where everyone feels like they need me time and when they see someone who doesn't take me time they automatically think something must be wrong
azpreemiemom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

If you are happy and satisfied, then who cares what everyone else thinks you need. I like to get out with friends on occasion, but some people I know are happy doing their own thing.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)