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Does this make me a s***ty friend?

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:41 PM
  • 39 Replies
I posted about it a few hours ago, but I can't edit Im on mobile and i need to add details.

My Sister in Law (SIL) had a very public, immature fight with one of my friends. My SIL is gay, childless and 23yrs old - My friend has one DD 7months, Single by choice and 18 years old.

It started with a status about myself wanting to home school my son, My friends mother said I bubble wrap my son and We can't always protect our children - It was mature, calm and understanding. We both agreed to disagree with both our parenting styles being VERY different. (I have another post about my friend and my parenting styles being complete opposites).
We felt it there and moved on. A few hours later my SIL commented about how I don't bubble wrap my son just protect him ect and to ignore anyone who tells me different.

My friends mother must of told my friend about the comment and my friend fired back about defending her mum for saying my son is bubble wrapped. Immature bullshitty from both side (SIL and Friend) my SIL called my friend a slut, bad teen mum and other names. My friend telling her that she has no say in raising child because she's gay and can't have kids ect..

Nasty shit. I was logged on but not actually on Fb i was getting notifications on my galaxy but i was putting my son to sleep and not watching what they were.

42 comments later they stop and leave it, I go on and see what was said, remove the post, inbox my friend telling her that I don't agree with what was said but she won't have a bar of it, she says I should have stuck up for her.

Honestly she wasn't in the post until she went looking for it, she brought a fight on herself but reacting to a comment that was directed to me not her mother or her. She wouldn't have known about it (she wouldn't have got notifications) until her mother told her.

In all honesty its complete high school bullshit and I do not want to hear it.

If i didn't "stick up for her" that make me in the wrong?
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:44 PM
No.
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FoxFire363
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:45 PM

No, you were in the right. First of all, your SIL is family. Secondly, what your friend said was disgusting. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. 

krunchykorn
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:46 PM
Im not planning on keeping the friendship the way she is acting


Quoting FoxFire363:

No, you were in the right. First of all, your SIL is family. Secondly, what your friend said was disgusting. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. 


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krunchykorn
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:49 PM
bump
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EAzizM
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Stupid Facebook Drama. Smh
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AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:56 PM
No, your friend was way out of line. Your sil was too, but your friend started it. If I was your sister in law I would have ignored the comment and not responded.
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krunchykorn
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:17 PM

BUMP!

Sasha-
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:13 PM
2 moms liked this

Sorry I still see your friends point,  especially now after your update.   First you say how YOu and your friends mother had a mature discussion and agreed to disagree and you left it there.  Then your SIL made a comment between a convo between you and your friends mom. Your friend who your SIL does not like, you said something before about how your friend does not like your SO which your SIL of course objects to.  To me it appears that your SIL went looking for a fight.  

Then when your SIL called her a slut and etc..  you said nothing but inboxed your friend to say you didnt agree instead of just saying it in your post.  Now your friend feels betrayed and probably wonders if you do think that about her.  I know I would be wondering.  Be the same if you made fun of her with a group of people then later say (hey I was just with the group you know I dont really feel that way, but shhhh do not tell them that)  By not posting anything back you gave credence to what your SIL said.

Again you said before how your SIL and her do not get along, so when her mom told her about a comment did you not think she might take it as your SIL causing trouble with her mom?

"Im not planning on keeping the friendship the way she is acting"  I do not think you have to worry about that.  Anyways take it for what it is,  personally I probably would of stayed out of it as well, and not sure if I would of handled it any different  I am just saying I see your friends point.

krunchykorn
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:10 AM

I can see her point but what my SIL said said wasn't nasty it wasn't directed to them (even though they apart of that group of parents that think people like me are over protective), it was directed to ME about people who assume that I bubble wrap DS because of my "protective" way of parenting and to ignore them because I do a great job blah blah blah.. It was a huge long ass comment and the only part my friend took out of that comment was the words "bubble wrap" because that's the words her mother used toward me, I can see what my SIL did as very wrong and very nasty - Agree she was in the wrong. My friend was wrong too, She come to the post, to the "rescue" of her mother who is a fully grown mature woman and fired back about ONE sentence - there was no attack towards her mother in that first comment from SIL and to me that is looking for trouble.

And I don't really want a friend who assumes that someones sexuality means they don't have the right to bare children - Even though I know she was mad at what was being said to her and it probably came out in spite.

Both acted like high school girls, both were wrong in their own ways and neither of them in my honest opinion deserve me to take a side and tell the other that they were wrong and shouldn't have said that, they caused it for themselves so they can suck it up - if that makes me a shitty friend/SIL then I will take label and wear it...

Quoting Sasha-:

Sorry I still see your friends point,  especially now after your update.   First you say how YOu and your friends mother had a mature discussion and agreed to disagree and you left it there.  Then your SIL made a comment between a convo between you and your friends mom. Your friend who your SIL does not like, you said something before about how your friend does not like your SO which your SIL of course objects to.  To me it appears that your SIL went looking for a fight.  

Then when your SIL called her a slut and etc..  you said nothing but inboxed your friend to say you didnt agree instead of just saying it in your post.  Now your friend feels betrayed and probably wonders if you do think that about her.  I know I would be wondering.  Be the same if you made fun of her with a group of people then later say (hey I was just with the group you know I dont really feel that way, but shhhh do not tell them that)  By not posting anything back you gave credence to what your SIL said.

Again you said before how your SIL and her do not get along, so when her mom told her about a comment did you not think she might take it as your SIL causing trouble with her mom?

"Im not planning on keeping the friendship the way she is acting"  I do not think you have to worry about that.  Anyways take it for what it is,  personally I probably would of stayed out of it as well, and not sure if I would of handled it any different  I am just saying I see your friends point.


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Sasha-
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

"what my SIL said said wasn't nasty it wasn't directed to them" Then why not inbox you then?  Why did she Post on a comment with the person she does not like mother?  A comment that was already laid to rest? The SIL could of let that go but she didnt.  You had a very mature convo with your friends mom why did the SIL get involved at all?  YOu say your friend brought on the trouble, I think your SIL did.  IF the convo between you and your friends mom was still ongoing then I would totally agree but it was at rest, your SIL stirred the pot and your friend went after the bait.  I never said you were a shitty friend,  just said I see your friends point,  without you posting 'Cindi  you know I dont feel that way and think your a good mom etc...  you gave your SIL credence by not speaking out it looks like you agreed with her.    

Quoting krunchykorn:

I can see her point but what my SIL said said wasn't nasty it wasn't directed to them (even though they apart of that group of parents that think people like me are over protective), it was directed to ME about people who assume that I bubble wrap DS because of my "protective" way of parenting and to ignore them because I do a great job blah blah blah.. It was a huge long ass comment and the only part my friend took out of that comment was the words "bubble wrap" because that's the words her mother used toward me, I can see what my SIL did as very wrong and very nasty - Agree she was in the wrong. My friend was wrong too, She come to the post, to the "rescue" of her mother who is a fully grown mature woman and fired back about ONE sentence - there was no attack towards her mother in that first comment from SIL and to me that is looking for trouble.

And I don't really want a friend who assumes that someones sexuality means they don't have the right to bare children - Even though I know she was mad at what was being said to her and it probably came out in spite.

Both acted like high school girls, both were wrong in their own ways and neither of them in my honest opinion deserve me to take a side and tell the other that they were wrong and shouldn't have said that, they caused it for themselves so they can suck it up - if that makes me a shitty friend/SIL then I will take label and wear it...

Quoting Sasha-:

Sorry I still see your friends point,  especially now after your update.   First you say how YOu and your friends mother had a mature discussion and agreed to disagree and you left it there.  Then your SIL made a comment between a convo between you and your friends mom. Your friend who your SIL does not like, you said something before about how your friend does not like your SO which your SIL of course objects to.  To me it appears that your SIL went looking for a fight.  

Then when your SIL called her a slut and etc..  you said nothing but inboxed your friend to say you didnt agree instead of just saying it in your post.  Now your friend feels betrayed and probably wonders if you do think that about her.  I know I would be wondering.  Be the same if you made fun of her with a group of people then later say (hey I was just with the group you know I dont really feel that way, but shhhh do not tell them that)  By not posting anything back you gave credence to what your SIL said.

Again you said before how your SIL and her do not get along, so when her mom told her about a comment did you not think she might take it as your SIL causing trouble with her mom?

"Im not planning on keeping the friendship the way she is acting"  I do not think you have to worry about that.  Anyways take it for what it is,  personally I probably would of stayed out of it as well, and not sure if I would of handled it any different  I am just saying I see your friends point.

 


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