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Please help :/ Realllly long

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

 I need some advice!  First off, Im very close to my family, I am always at my mothers house.  My older cousin and her 14 yr old son also live there.  My 4 yr old daughter loves him and they always play together. Tonight, as usual, they were in his room for maybe 30 min alone. They on occassion do this and I go in there once in a while just to see what they are doing.  Usually playing legos or something.  I never had a bad thought of it whatsoever.  Why would I? 

Well, As we were driving home, out of the blue my dughter says, '------, had me touch his privacy.'  I was beyond shocked, I almost had to pull over, but I thought maybe it wasn't what it seemed to be, so I calmly questioned her.  'What do you mean? Did you go in thebathroom with him?' 'No, we were in his room, he told me to touch his privacy, so I did.  He wanted me to, he is a good boy'  At this point, I was shaking I was so furious.  'Why didn't you leave and come tell a grown up?'  'He locked the door and told me not to leave.'  But then she said that that was all that happened, and this is the first time.  I also asked if he had ever touched her, she said no.   I had to stop talking about it because she could see that I was upset and it was making her upset that she did something wrong.  So, I reassured her that it was not her fault.  Anyway, I have no idea what the f*ck to do.  I told his mom and of course, she is having a hard time believeing it.  But, I think she will come around because as she said how would my daughter know to make up such a detailed lie.  Like locking the door?  No one has ever locked her anywhere and she doesn't know that what he did is bad, so how would she know to add that into the story.

So, basically, I have been crying on and off that this happened.  I am disgusted and feel so sad about it.  I feel bad for my cousin (the mom) .  Her son is not an easy kid.  He does terrible in school, has severe ADHD, has no friends, his dad is basically not inhis life and has terrible behavior.  As 'bad' as he is, he can be such a sweetheart to the animals and my daughter, so it never crossed my mind that he could this.  I know that I will never be able to trust him again.  She will no longer be allowed in his room and will not be left alone with him ever.  In fact, it is going to take a long time for me to even want to see his face.  What happens with him?  What does my cousin do with him? therapy? RIght now it would make me feel better if I could strangle the little shit...

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:02 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:05 PM
Don't bring it back up to her. And don't go over there again. Tell your mom the truth why you are not going over there anymore.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:05 PM
I would suggest therapy for the teen. He's obviously got done problems. And just thank God nothing worse happened.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:11 PM

 Yes, Im trying to stay positive.  I thank god so so sooo much that she told me almost right away.  Had she not, it could have gone on.  I think that is what has me so upset, where this so easily could have gone.  Thanks for reading all that.

Quoting Anonymous:

I would suggest therapy for the teen. He's obviously got done problems. And just thank God nothing worse happened.

 

Diamepphyre
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:12 PM

 I disagree with part of this.  If she doesn't know, then she can't do anything to help her son and/or prevent him from doing it to someone else.  Absolutely have a chat with her. 

As to the rest about not going to your Mom's house and explaining why, I absolutely agree.  If you're that close geographically, there's no reason why she couldn't come to your house to visit for a while.

Quoting Anonymous:

Don't bring it back up to her. And don't go over there again. Tell your mom the truth why you are not going over there anymore.

 

mommieof3_752
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:14 PM

 Do not take her back over there. I would make sure that your cousin realizes that it happened and that she gets help for him. Maybe just do not bring it up again to your daughter....if she realizes how bad what really happened is...it may do more damage to her in the long run. Good Luck and Im so sorry that this happened to your daughter.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:18 PM

 As of right now my daughter doesn't think it was a bad thing, which I think is good so hopefully she will just forget about it.  I wish I could too, but I dont think I could ever forget this, Im still so shocked.  Thank you though

Quoting mommieof3_752:

 Do not take her back over there. I would make sure that your cousin realizes that it happened and that she gets help for him. Maybe just do not bring it up again to your daughter....if she realizes how bad what really happened is...it may do more damage to her in the long run. Good Luck and Im so sorry that this happened to your daughter.

 

mommieof3_752
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:28 PM

  Have you had the "No one touches you there" talk with her before??? 

Quoting Anonymous:

 As of right now my daughter doesn't think it was a bad thing, which I think is good so hopefully she will just forget about it.  I wish I could too, but I dont think I could ever forget this, Im still so shocked.  Thank you though

Quoting mommieof3_752:

 Do not take her back over there. I would make sure that your cousin realizes that it happened and that she gets help for him. Maybe just do not bring it up again to your daughter....if she realizes how bad what really happened is...it may do more damage to her in the long run. Good Luck and Im so sorry that this happened to your daughter.

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:36 PM

 Briefly a few times, but it's probably been a year.  She is usually always with me or my mom, so I never really think of it... Bad on my part but at the same time why I believe her story even more, since it is not something we have talked about in such along time.

Quoting mommieof3_752:

  Have you had the "No one touches you there" talk with her before??? 

Quoting Anonymous:

 As of right now my daughter doesn't think it was a bad thing, which I think is good so hopefully she will just forget about it.  I wish I could too, but I dont think I could ever forget this, Im still so shocked.  Thank you though

Quoting mommieof3_752:

 Do not take her back over there. I would make sure that your cousin realizes that it happened and that she gets help for him. Maybe just do not bring it up again to your daughter....if she realizes how bad what really happened is...it may do more damage to her in the long run. Good Luck and Im so sorry that this happened to your daughter.

 


 

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