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VENT......UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WOULD YOU DO????

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
1 mom liked this
Hello. Im 22 yrs olf and have a threeyear old boy. Im married to a great man but we have our ups and downs every once in a while....I have a beautiful career as a subrogation specialist and I love every part of my job.


My husband has three kids from to past marriages, a girl whos 8 and lives in Florida and two boys here in long island who are 5 and 3. I love his kids and they love me.


I work monday thru friday 8 to 5. My husband works everyday from 930 am to 8pm...except sundays and wednesdays those are his days off. Even though hes off on wednesdays he picks up his kids the whole day and I dont really spend much time with him.


On sundaysbim off but he also picks up the kids and we really cant do anything. At their age its difficult to walk around eat out because they and my son whos also 4 misbehave. By the time they go home I just want to go to bed and call or a day because I have to get up to work the next day. Lately ive been feeling angry upset and frustrated. Ive been trying to explain to him that sometimes I need my own time with him as well and I dont think its fair. I know they are his kids and they come first but im his wife and I too need time to share with him. Every time I bring this up he gets easily offended and we just end up not talking to each other.


For example this past friday his ex wife asked me to do a favor for her and takr care of the kids, so I said hey why not...so they came friday night slept over and left saturday evening. So here I am thinking okay let me plan somethings with my husband because the kids wont be coming sunday because they already came fri and sat. So sunday morning I decide to get up do my hair and so on get realy pretty and when we are driving im planning on eating dinner shopping blah blah and then i see hes like in a bad mood, he then turns around and says HEY IM THINKING ABOUT PICKING UP THE KIDS ILL DROP YOU OFF AT THE STORE AND U CAN SHOP BY YOUR SELF.....now im not being a baby but my heart drop...it wasnt what he said it was jusy that type of moment where the last drop of water breaks the glass....I told him to take me home, and my sunday was messed up i decided to no longer beg for his time.....im just at the point where. Im upset all the time, anything he does at this moment just makes me upset.


Update:

well today is wednesday I was actually in th er I have virus throat infection etc,,,, I was sent home from work my supervisor doesnt want me to get other sick, he took me to the er this morning and he went to woRk overtime, so Im sleepin and he walks in with the three kids and says my name out loud so I wake up, doesnt even ask how am I, he goes and prepares dinner for his kid and mine, sometimes we are in the same house and I feel like I miss him, I texted him today and sort of explaibed why I was concerned about our relationship and he said okay whatever sure and then changed the topic, im upto the point that what im going to do is just go to my moms house on my days off and let him do whatever he wants... im dropping off my son tomorrow night at my moms house but im coming back to long island bcuz I return to work tomorrow and my mom wants to help, i know i will work tomorrow fri and i will be off on saturday but he willvbe working all day so i will be home alone and sunday we will have his kids from 9 am to 8 pm.....same things .....im just about to not give a damn and let things roll............i tried
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jazmyn1
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:33 AM
Wow Im sorry your going through this. He should spend the time he can with u and that was a perfect day to do so. Im kind of at a loss cuz he sees his kids every wed and every sat and sun? Thats more then most visitations i dont understand y he wouldnt spend the time with u. Maybe try asking him y without bringing the kids into the conversation. Cause I know I get terribly deffensive if someone does that to me. Good luck I hope it all gets worked out
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MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:45 AM
1 mom liked this

schedule date nights

areyouatroll
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:48 AM
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He is not making time for you.
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melakay1981
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:49 AM

Get a babysitter 2 nights a month on the nights his kids are not there.  It really does help

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:49 AM

Did you talk to him about how you thought the day would go? It sounds like you have a severe communication issue.

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:26 AM
1 mom liked this

ask him why he fell in love with you.

then, after he has answered, ask how he can continue to love you when you never spend any 1 on 1 time together.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Yes we had discussed this the night before, we had plans


Quoting Anonymous:

Did you talk to him about how you thought the day would go? It sounds like you have a severe communication issue.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Exactly what I feel !


Quoting areyouatroll:

He is not making time for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Thank you for your advice...he only spends wednesdays and sundays,,, x saturdays he works from 8 to 8 and im home alone......thats exactly what I though....and also his ex wife doesnt work or go to school and even like this she gets all this free time....im getting so tierd of it....I didnt marry him for this and I have tried talking to him without bringing the kids up to see if HE GETS THE POINT. But he doesnt ..


Quoting Jazmyn1:

Wow Im sorry your going through this. He should spend the time he can with u and that was a perfect day to do so. Im kind of at a loss cuz he sees his kids every wed and every sat and sun? Thats more then most visitations i dont understand y he wouldnt spend the time with u. Maybe try asking him y without bringing the kids into the conversation. Cause I know I get terribly deffensive if someone does that to me. Good luck I hope it all gets worked out

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