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My 12yo girl is CUTTING herself! I need advice!!! *EDIT*

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:02 AM
  • 82 Replies

I was called Monday morning by the school councler and a cop was there too. They informed me that my 12 year old girl, Jazmyn , was cutting herself. She carved the word "sorry" on her arm. Along with the word there were several other lines about an inch long where she cut herself. The wounds were NOT fresh meaning they were at least a few weeks old. I went to her school right away and we talked about getting her into counceling right away. So the next day, Tuesday, I kept her home from school and had a councler come to my house to talk it out. She really didn't open up much to her and seemed Very embarresed or saddened from this. When the councler left a few hours later I tried talking with her. She broke down in tears and said, "I'm sorry I make things harder for you" I told her there was NOTHING for her to be sorry about and that I am here for her and she can talk to me about ANYTHING and I wont judge her.

I think this is all steming from our financial problems. We are now temporary living at my in-laws because we didn't have enough money to pay our water and electric.... We used to be well off and money wasn't an issue but noe both my husband and I are out of work and desperatly seeking employment. We even applied at fast food places, still no luck :( I know the stress level here is high, but I had no idea how bad it was for her. BTW she will be 13 in Jan... Have any of your teens done the "cutting" thing? I don't know if I should continue with counceling OR put her in a hospital that treats this... but Im scared that if I put her in a hospital I will push her farther from me... and she might shut down completly to everyone. She told me that she has talked about it with her friends but I KNOW a 12/13 yo is not mature enough to deal with such a serious issue.

*EDIT*

I want to thank you all for your kind words of advice and sharing your situations with me. I am trying to reply to everyone but it is getting late and I will be back sometime tomorrow, or later today lol, it's 2am here in FL. I have to go to bed cuz my 2yo wakes up EARLY and my husband is going to put in applications in the am so I cant sleep in.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KeimUNCmomof3
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:05 AM

oh wow, i'm so sorry you are going through this.  i can't imagine.  i do not have any advice as I have three little ones in daycare.  my only thought is what i would do and i would have her go to counseling, and if she cuts again, then have her admitted to a hospital.  good luck and take care.  i hope she recovers from this!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:06 AM
Bump for you
tomary
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. I've been praying for God to take her pain and give it to me. I can't stand to see her so down :(

Quoting KeimUNCmomof3:

oh wow, i'm so sorry you are going through this.  i can't imagine.  i do not have any advice as I have three little ones in daycare.  my only thought is what i would do and i would have her go to counseling, and if she cuts again, then have her admitted to a hospital.  good luck and take care.  i hope she recovers from this!


ajnmadismommy
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:12 AM

I'm so sorry!!  I really wish I had some good advice, but I don't know and I don't want to steer you wrong....but good luck

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:14 AM
Good luck.. I cut for a span of 10 yrs starting at age 13 and just cut again today. Be there and support her is all I can say. Mine personally stemmed from lots of family issues and I always felt/feel either my opinion is not important or that talking about how I feel will just cause more stress than needed and I never wanted to bother anyone else so i just handled things the only way I knew how.

I don't even know if this makes sense.. I've been seriously depressed the past week and stayed in bed other than work and spending time with my son. Tonight I've been drinking for about 4 hours though so I don't know how much sense I'm making.. I know what I'm tryin to say but I can't get it out right. It just sounds like pity me and its not.


Ugh let me shut the hell up
tomary
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:15 AM

thank you. I like your pics under your reply. how do you get stuff like that??

Quoting ajnmadismommy:

I'm so sorry!!  I really wish I had some good advice, but I don't know and I don't want to steer you wrong....but good luck


HisMommy4Ever
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:18 AM

Aww that is sad. Just try to get through to her and be there for her. I don't know what I would do. But I know how it feels...my older sister used to do it all the time and the scars are still there after idk how many years......

Mrs.Winchester
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:18 AM

I did it when I was her age.  I had a lot of teenage angst.  I was one of those teens that hated everything, went through a "goth" phase, skipped a lot of school, started smoking, experimented with drugs... this is all probably not very reassuring, but for me it was all just something I had to go through and I grew out of it.  My advice is to make sure you keep your financial affairs as private from her as you can and to also let her know that you are rich in other ways.  Start talking to her about her day and make her feel as if you care-  not just by SAYING, "You can talk to me" but by SHOWING it with your actions.  Let her know that you are her friend and can be trusted and then she will confide in you.


ajnmadismommy
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:18 AM

Thank you :)  Honestly I did it so long ago, I completely forgot..... I think I went to photobucket and found them and plugged them into my signature, but I did these years ago lol

Quoting tomary:

thank you. I like your pics under your reply. how do you get stuff like that??

Quoting ajnmadismommy:

I'm so sorry!!  I really wish I had some good advice, but I don't know and I don't want to steer you wrong....but good luck



   

poeticrose09
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Be there for her and don't. Threaten to put her into the hospital. This is coming from someone who used to cut for ten years. I started when I was nine. When my mom threatened to put me in hospital I pulledaway hid the cuts better but started cutting deeper. Talk to her about it and offer other solutions. Give her a journal to write it. Freeze water in the color red and tell her to use the ice cube instead have her snap a rubber band aroud her wrist rip up paper. Sorry for thr run on thoughts I'm mobile. Pm me if you want to talk. Your both in my thoughts and prayers
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