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Breastfeeding and self-soothing

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
FTR: I bf my toddler. Opinions on this are not welcome. I am posting this here because it is the most active group I'm in.

DS is 2, and nurses regularly. We have no plans to wean anytime soon. (baby-led) the problem is, he absolutely cannot self-soothe. He's got great nursing manners, but if he wants to "nee" and is told no, or that he needs to wait, he is inconsolable. He also nurses at night.. (Family bed) all night. When I run out of milk, he gets upset, sometimes to the point that we cannot get back to sleep. I'm sore and exhausted!

I would love some tips on how to teach him to self-sooth at night, or when we are out and about and just can't drop everything to nurse.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AshleySail
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:32 AM
Idk... Pacifier?
I only have an 8 month old
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xtwistedxlovex
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:33 AM
Hmm...not sure on that, so here's a bump. Try the Breastfeeding Moms group too; although it's smaller, you're more likely to get helpful advice.

ETA: One thing - I got DS to leave me alone at night by wearing a sports bra, but a) he was fairly passive and b) that's actually really bad for you since it constricts the lymphatic system and doesn't allow proper drainage. Still, if you're desperate enough you might give it a try.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:37 AM
Thanks for replying! Ds is 2.5, though. No wayyyy am I introducing the paci now! Lol

Quoting AshleySail:

Idk... Pacifier?

I only have an 8 month old
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:39 AM
Thanks, I will!
I actually sleep in a loose fitting sports bra or comfy nursing bra. The little bugger can unhook the nursing bra on his own, and will just angrily shove his hand up the spots bra until I give in.
Sigh. His day time manners are so much nicer.

Quoting xtwistedxlovex:

Hmm...not sure on that, so here's a bump. Try the Breastfeeding Moms group too; although it's smaller, you're more likely to get helpful advice.



ETA: One thing - I got DS to leave me alone at night by wearing a sports bra, but a) he was fairly passive and b) that's actually really bad for you since it constricts the lymphatic system and doesn't allow proper drainage. Still, if you're desperate enough you might give it a try.
AshleySail
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:42 AM
I didn't know wearing a sports bra was bad while nursing...
I've been wearing them since I started lol


Quoting xtwistedxlovex:

Hmm...not sure on that, so here's a bump. Try the Breastfeeding Moms group too; although it's smaller, you're more likely to get helpful advice.



ETA: One thing - I got DS to leave me alone at night by wearing a sports bra, but a) he was fairly passive and b) that's actually really bad for you since it constricts the lymphatic system and doesn't allow proper drainage. Still, if you're desperate enough you might give it a try.
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Mrs.Pedro
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:46 AM
I stopped the sleepin together unless I was wanting him to nurse or ok with it. I don't let him nurse for as long as he wants unless I hear him actively swallowing. The way it feels when he comfort nurses drives me bonkers, so I have put him on a limit. Maybe try a time limit? I also knocked out the night time feeds. He nurses before bed time(not to sleep though), then I take him to his room and put him to bed. If I have him in bed and he's not absolutely exhausted he will want to nurse, so he doesn't come back in my bed until around 5-7am(he goes to sleep at around 9-11pm). I had to limit it or stop it completely because I was becoming very irritated to the point if being angry that he wanted to nurse. Now I feel like I could go on for as long as he wants to(which I was NOT going to do before because I have hated bf since day two or so lol).
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heatherd09
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:47 AM
I would definitely check out the breastfeeding moms group. They are very helpful.
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TSNDDY
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:49 AM
Have you checked out the advice from Dr. Jay Gordon?

link
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mitty18
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:50 AM

Maybe try night weaning?
My fifteen month old is like that. I usually nurse her before bed but not to sleep and then lay her down in her bed with her music thing playing. She'll go to sleep and then be up at two to nurse. I let her nurse and depending on the mood i will lay her back in her play pen or keep her in bed with me but not on the bare breast. She is allowed to nurse until she is back to sleep and then boobie goes back up! I hate letting her comfort nurse all night. it gets painful and annoying lol.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:50 AM
We have thought about taking him out of our bed. He HAS his own, and I have read a lot in night weaning while co-sleeping as well.
Neither seem to be a good fit. When
We tried the night weaning, he just kept me up. ALL night. I work from home and homeschool my older children, and I was trying to do that on 1-2 hours of sleep.... I was a MAD mommy. Lol. The problem with just taking him out of the bed is that he, at this point, does not have the skills to soothe himself. I think he would wake up alone and terrified, and be inconsolable still, even if I went to him in his own bed.
I have quite the mess, here...

Quoting Mrs.Pedro:

I stopped the sleepin together unless I was wanting him to nurse or ok with it. I don't let him nurse for as long as he wants unless I hear him actively swallowing. The way it feels when he comfort nurses drives me bonkers, so I have put him on a limit. Maybe try a time limit? I also knocked out the night time feeds. He nurses before bed time(not to sleep though), then I take him to his room and put him to bed. If I have him in bed and he's not absolutely exhausted he will want to nurse, so he doesn't come back in my bed until around 5-7am(he goes to sleep at around 9-11pm). I had to limit it or stop it completely because I was becoming very irritated to the point if being angry that he wanted to nurse. Now I feel like I could go on for as long as he wants to(which I was NOT going to do before because I have hated bf since day two or so lol).
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