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I need some advice.. (be kind please) *UPDATE*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
Well my dh has been distant lately... he doesnt want to be intimate anymore. I have not gained weight. We use to have sex like 2x a day but now we have sex maybe once a week. I have tried to switch it up and nothing. Even just talking or hanging out. Its like he avoids me, I know hes not cheating on me. I give him my full attention and do whatever he wants me to do. I have asked him whats bothering him and he always says nothing. But he gets smart with me and he is real short with me. I dont know what the hell to do. Im torn apart :(.. I want my husband back! Im so depressed and I feel lonely. I know I came to the most cut throat group on cafemom but ladies, I really need some advice on what we could do. Thank you for taking the time to read this mess :/



*UPDATE*

Ok so I talked to him... he said it was my fault and that I pissed him off by talking to him about this.im crying, i cant believe him he knows the emotional issues im going through right now and he has the nerve to say that kind of stuff to me. Heres our convo.
Me: "baby, can we talk?"
Dh: "what?"
Me: "is there anything you wanna talk about? Or talk to Brother M.(our pastor) about?"
Dh: "no"
Me: "well if you do im here to talk.."
Dh: "why are you asking me this?"
Me: "well lately you have distant and its like something is bothering you."
Dh: "distant?! How!?"
Me: "well you never wanna spend time with me anymore and its like you would rather gnaw off your own arm then spend 5 minutes with me."
Dh: "no."
Me: "well whats wrong? Am i just boring or am i just that awful?"
Dh: "its your fault and there is no reason arguing about it because you will ALWAYS win!"
Me: "whats my fault? What did i do? What do you mean i will always win? Im not here to argue with you."
Dh: "you just pissed me off go listen to that stupid fucking music!"
Me: "just please talk to me"
Dh: " do you have simething else to gripe about now?!"
Me: "no..."
Dh: "bitch cant even talk to me."

then i rolled over and he rolled over. i dont know what i did. He really confused the hell outta me. he didnt make any sense to me whatsoever. he has never acted like this before. he knows what im dealing with. im crushed... we havent been married long and already this shit is happening. any advice ladies? i dont know what is happening to our marriage :(
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:47 AM
2 moms liked this

How long has this been going on? It sounds like he is stressed or maybe depressed. The holidays can put a strain on even the best relationships. I would give him some space and not pressure him and see what happens.

beachbabies6
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:49 AM
1 mom liked this

is it maybe the time of the year ? alot of people are depressed around this time , if it continues maybe suggest he speak to someone , good luck

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:52 AM
It could be stress and depression. We have the opposite in our relationship. I have no desire for sex. At all. And i'm only 28. When we do have sex, i can't get into it. And it isn't that he isn't good in bed, because he is...i just can't get my head into it. Like i can't shut my thoughts off or something. Sorry i'm no help. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:52 AM
8 moms liked this


No advice.. just a kind word
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:13 AM
It had been going on for about 3 months now. he has all his shopping done. Ill try to give him his space and see how things turn out. thank you.


Quoting Anonymous:

How long has this been going on? It sounds like he is stressed or maybe depressed. The holidays can put a strain on even the best relationships. I would give him some space and not pressure him and see what happens.


kbornman21
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:15 AM
My boyfriend gets distant around this time of year and its because he's upset about his dad being in his life. I try my best to keep him positive but we can't all be winners. =\

Sorry OP. just be patient
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Ill see if we cant talk to our pastor (he is also our marriage counselor) and have just him and dh talk in private. do you think that might help? Maybe he has something to say but doesnt wanna say it in front of me. I dont know Im confused :( and thank you


Quoting beachbabies6:

is it maybe the time of the year ? alot of people are depressed around this time , if it continues maybe suggest he speak to someone , good luck


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:17 AM
That was some help. that might be what is going on with my dh.


Quoting Anonymous:

It could be stress and depression. We have the opposite in our relationship. I have no desire for sex. At all. And i'm only 28. When we do have sex, i can't get into it. And it isn't that he isn't good in bed, because he is...i just can't get my head into it. Like i can't shut my thoughts off or something. Sorry i'm no help. :/

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:18 AM
Thank you! :)


Quoting Anonymous:



No advice.. just a kind word

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:20 AM
I dont know if I should keep asking him or talk to our pastor about it. I dont know what to do.


Quoting kbornman21:

My boyfriend gets distant around this time of year and its because he's upset about his dad being in his life. I try my best to keep him positive but we can't all be winners. =\



Sorry OP. just be patient

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