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Come be my therapist.

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:23 PM
  • 10 Replies
I wrote my mother out of my life years ago. She was abusive and I gave her once last chance to tell me sorry and change and she did neither so I realized then and there that I needed to cut her out so that I could move forward with my life.

Since then my grandmother (her mother) has tried to patch things up between us and each and every time I tell her that when my mother sees what she did was wrong and apologizes I will allow her back in my life.

So a few months back my grandmother says my mom says she's sorry and realizes she messed up. Ok, so then I'd like to hear that from my mother only that has yet to happen.

My mother sends me a Christmas card to my grandmothers house every year and this year was no exception. So I go to open it up expecting to see a note from her saying she was sorry and there is nothing in the card except for the words love, mom.


So does my mother sound remorseful to you? Or does it sound like the work of a grandmother?
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SammiBaby
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:25 PM
Work of a grandmother to me. If she was that remorseful she'd apologize to you personally not through the grapevine.
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Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:26 PM
That's my thoughts.

Sadly I know she will never think she was in the wrong, my mother has a warped sense of reality.


Quoting SammiBaby:

Work of a grandmother to me. If she was that remorseful she'd apologize to you personally not through the grapevine.
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ElitestJen
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:27 PM

She may be remorseful of not being in your life, but not necessarily remorseful of her behavior.

I wrote my mother off years ago, too.  It hurts.  Even though I did it out of self-preservation and to protect my children, I still miss her. 

1likeme
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:28 PM
It doesn't matter. It was not an acknowledgement of anything nor was it an apology. Keep on keeping on.
Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:33 PM
1 mom liked this
She may be remorseful of not being in your life, but not necessarily remorseful of her behavior.

-----
That is exactly it.

The first year or so it hurt and I'd cry but now I don't. I mourn the relationship we never had but I truly don't miss her. I saw a therapist after my miscarriage and she asked me if I thought of or wanted my mother when everything was happening and I sat there for a moment and realized that was the first time i had thought of my mother in months, and that no she never crossed my mind when I was going through the miscarriage.


Quoting ElitestJen:

She may be remorseful of not being in your life, but not necessarily remorseful of her behavior.

I wrote my mother off years ago, too.  It hurts.  Even though I did it out of self-preservation and to protect my children, I still miss her. 

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Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Bump
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beautiful.GIRL1
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Work of a grandmother
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Fairfieldwizard
by Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:23 AM

If she was/is repeatedly abusive, then you don't need the agita in your life. If it was a one or two incident thing or if in searching your own heart find that its possible you contributed to the abuse (it happens), then well isn't this the season for forgiveness, once anyways?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:28 AM
I may be going against the grain here, but I would call your mom and make peace. It does not make the way she treated you disappear, but it will be closure and healing for you. If it does not work out, at least you can tell your grandmother you tries. Who knows it might work out into a great relationship. Good luck to you.
Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:32 AM
The abuse was constant. It was never a once or twice thing. She lacks common decency.

I remember one time when I needed surgery and was living with her I asked for 25 bucks towards my surgery. My deductible was 100 and I only had 75. She told me no because my brother wanted an Xbox for his birthday. Then she insisted on helping me after surgery (I wanted to go to my grandmothers) and wasnt supposed to be left alone for 24 hours. She dropped me off and left in my car and didn't come back for over 24 hours. I passed out from the pain on the way to the bathroom, I couldn't take my pain pills because I couldn't make my way to the kitchen to fix me something to eat with it.

The bitch doesn't give a shit about me, she just wants to look good in my grandmothers eyes.


Quoting Fairfieldwizard:

If she was/is repeatedly abusive, then you don't need the agita in your life. If it was a one or two incident thing or if in searching your own heart find that its possible you contributed to the abuse (it happens), then well isn't this the season for forgiveness, once anyways?

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