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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

13 year olds sexting

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 229 Replies

Long story short, the school confiscated my sons phone for texting in class.  He was acting shady about it and they called me to tell me.  I told them I would be right there to get it.  When I got there I looked and discovered his girlfriend from another school sent him a naked picture.  

DS is 14, just turned this month.  His gf is 13, turning 14 on the 25th of Jan.  The principle said that they have no right to tell her parents, nor any right to get him in trouble as it is two 13 year olds and there is no real age difference (in our state it isn't considered child porn like other states).  They said they are turning a blind eye to it and not getting involved and its left up to us.  

My husband and I are in disagreement.  He thinks we need to tell her parents.  I don't want to.  

Hear me out.  We moved here a few years ago and ds has had issues making lasting connections and friendships.  If I ruin this it might devastate him and further alienate him, if I tell her parents they will never allow her to speak to him again and isolate him from this new group of kids which are very well behaved compared to the group at his school (we had a party and the group from the school was cursing and acting crazy, the new group from the other school was well dressed and very polite).  I just want the relationship to run its course.  Plus I hardly know her parents, how I even start this conversation?  As a mother I would want to know what my daughter was doing, but on the other hand, I check my son's phone (she had just sent this to him) so I would have already known what he was doing and busted him anyway which they need to be doing, not me.  They aren't having sex, they aren't allowed to go anywhere together.  He is literally under my thumb at all times, they don't attend the same school, I go with him to all of his sporting events etc.  I think its natural curiosity.  

What are your thoughts?  Who do you agree with?  Me or my husband? 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:03 AM
7 moms liked this
Your husband.
Fields456
by Ruby Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:04 AM
1 mom liked this
I think u should tell her parents or may be not flat out tell them but maybe suggest they look at her phone
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PitbullPrincess
by Woof on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:06 AM

Sorry, but tell her parents.

SommerRayne06
by Silver Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:06 AM
27 moms liked this
I understand what you are saying, but I would still tell her parents. Reason being, the next guy may publicly humiliate her with those photos, or worse yet, grown men could get those pictures, and then who knows what could happen! You are saving her from so much if you tactfully tell her parents. And maybe you 4 could come to the agreement that separating the two of them probably isn't a good idea.
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Butterfly1108
by Silver Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:12 AM

I would tell her parents. You & her parents are the adults here. What if she continues to do this sort of behavior in the future (if your son is no longer friends for some reason)

She will look and think back and be embarrassed but hey you stopped this early. GL

zoo003
by Gold Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:12 AM
2 moms liked this

That is really a tough call.  I also have a son who doesn't make friends easily, so I kind of understand your concern.  I have to ask, overall, are his group of friends good?  Do you know this girl and other than this incident, is she a good influence on him?  If this is a one time incident, I would let him know that it isn't appropriate, that if it happens again, then parents would be notified and then probably take his phone for awhile.  However, if you have any questions about this girl, I would end the relationship and tell her parents.  I would rather my son have few friends than one's who aren't a good influence for him.  I don't know if this makes sense, I have a cold and really need to go to bed.  Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:12 AM
1 mom liked this

how would you start that conversation with strangers?  "Hey I wanted to let you know I saw a picture of your daughter naked on my son's phone"?!

Love060708kids
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:13 AM

I'd tell her parents, for sure.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:15 AM
1 mom liked this

No his friends suck.  He invited the entire basket ball team to his party and not one showed up.  Only a few from school did and they all where swearing and one got caught smoking weed last month!  I don't like those group of kids at all!

The other group of kids are so well behaved and polite!  I just love that group of kids.  They are so nice, they say please and thank you, they invite DS out to events, they get rides from their parents to travel and go watch his sports its such an amazing group of supportive friends. 

Quoting zoo003:

That is really a tough call.  I also have a son who doesn't make friends easily, so I kind of understand your concern.  I have to ask, overall, are his group of friends good?  Do you know this girl and other than this incident, is she a good influence on him?  If this is a one time incident, I would let him know that it isn't appropriate, that if it happens again, then parents would be notified and then probably take his phone for awhile.  However, if you have any questions about this girl, I would end the relationship and tell her parents.  I would rather my son have few friends than one's who aren't a good influence for him.  I don't know if this makes sense, I have a cold and really need to go to bed.  Good luck!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:15 AM
4 moms liked this
Talk to the girl. Give her a chance to fess up. If she doesn't do it, Then you do it.
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