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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

13 year olds sexting

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Long story short, the school confiscated my sons phone for texting in class.  He was acting shady about it and they called me to tell me.  I told them I would be right there to get it.  When I got there I looked and discovered his girlfriend from another school sent him a naked picture.  

DS is 14, just turned this month.  His gf is 13, turning 14 on the 25th of Jan.  The principle said that they have no right to tell her parents, nor any right to get him in trouble as it is two 13 year olds and there is no real age difference (in our state it isn't considered child porn like other states).  They said they are turning a blind eye to it and not getting involved and its left up to us.  

My husband and I are in disagreement.  He thinks we need to tell her parents.  I don't want to.  

Hear me out.  We moved here a few years ago and ds has had issues making lasting connections and friendships.  If I ruin this it might devastate him and further alienate him, if I tell her parents they will never allow her to speak to him again and isolate him from this new group of kids which are very well behaved compared to the group at his school (we had a party and the group from the school was cursing and acting crazy, the new group from the other school was well dressed and very polite).  I just want the relationship to run its course.  Plus I hardly know her parents, how I even start this conversation?  As a mother I would want to know what my daughter was doing, but on the other hand, I check my son's phone (she had just sent this to him) so I would have already known what he was doing and busted him anyway which they need to be doing, not me.  They aren't having sex, they aren't allowed to go anywhere together.  He is literally under my thumb at all times, they don't attend the same school, I go with him to all of his sporting events etc.  I think its natural curiosity.  

What are your thoughts?  Who do you agree with?  Me or my husband? 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Replies (191-200):
EachNewBreath
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:53 PM

Well it sounds like a sound plan! Hope it does work out for everyone involved!

Quoting Anonymous:

The counselor is afraid if we call the parents she will be shamed and isolated.  By doing a 'peer intervention' she will be able to grow from her mistake and have support that isn't judging her.  We've talked and laid out all that may have happened if this got into the wrong hands (trust me we used this post as a resource).  Now, if ds decides he doesn't want to do this then the counselor says we must tell the parents which we are in agreement with.  I sure hope this works.  

Quoting EachNewBreath:

Thats great! I think it is wonderful that you found a good resource. I would have never thought of that! That is why there are there! 

Thanks for keeping me posted. Its nice to have all of this in the wings (i have a son, one day I am SURE that we are going to have to deal with this too :D )

Quoting Anonymous:

we talked to the school counselor and she said ds has to be accountable.  She suggested while we are in the room supervising have him call her and as a peer tell her the possible repercussions and consequences of sending this type of thing, what could possibly happen if its done again, tell her who saw it, as well as what his punishment is and if she ever does it again.  She said this way, he is taking ownership of what he did (accepting the picture) and she won't feel embarrassed in front of her parents and he can help her without feeling alienated by her parents, and she can learn from this mistake.  We've also completely grounded him from the phone and all electronics.  If he doesn't want to do this, then we will be calling her parents as suggested by the school counselor.  Sorry I haven't responded to any of the post, I have been reading and in contact with the counselor suggesting stuff that was posted here, its been a busy weekend and my younger twins birthday so its been crazy.  The school counselor has been meeting with us outside of school time and taking our calls.  She has been a great guidance helping us through this.  

Quoting EachNewBreath:

Update OP on how you all decided to handle it?





squeekers
by Platinum Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM

 i dont care one way or the other, if someone caught my kid sexting, I better be notified by some adult.

TitaniumBiscuit
by Bronze Member on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM

I would tell the girls' parents.  The girl is a minor and her parents need to know that she's doing this kind of thing.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:56 PM
She could erase the pics in her phone so keep his phone and show it to her parents and be polite like letting them know ur only showing them bc if were you, you would hope someone would make u aware of your kids sending nude pics.
darnette
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:57 PM
Don't tell, let your son be happy. It won't stop her she'll just do it for the next boy in her life. Time to have the safe sex talk, because I see the next star of sixteen and pregnant
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:58 PM
Yes it does. At 13, there isnt such thing as an "significant other".

Quoting autodidact:

sending naked pictures of oneself to an SO isn't an approriate action for a kid, but it doesn't make her a whore. 
 


Quoting Anonymous:

Wouldnt you want to know if that was your whore of a kid sending naked pics? Of course you would. Tell them.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 23, 2012 at 12:26 AM

I agree with your husband. Doesn't matter the age difference, your son is in posession of child porn. Put yourself in the shoes of the girls parents, wouldn't you want to know what your daughter was up to??  You are being really selfish to be thinking only of your son's social life.  Maybe there is a reason he doesn't make lasting friendships.  If it were my 13 year old son you bet your sweet ass I would be on the phone with this girls parents so they could try to get her under control.  I wouldn't want my son having anymore contact with her.  How do you know they aren't sexually active already??  Do you want your son and this girl to be another teen parent statistic? Are you ready for those responsabilities, is he???

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 23, 2012 at 12:26 AM

 Obviously if this girl is sending naked pictures, they aren't well behaved. And no, them being that young is NOT normal. Someone isn't doing their job as a parent. If that girl is doing that and her mother doesn't know, you need to tell her. There's consenting adults, not consenting children. Kids don't even know what they're doing. They need to be taught to learn about the person they're with first. Then way down the road when they're absolutely in love with that person, then possibly have sex... "Natural curiousity" can fuck up your life if you take it too far. I know from experience.

autodidact
by Snarknado on Dec. 23, 2012 at 12:47 AM

whatever you say, Church Lady

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it does. At 13, there isnt such thing as an "significant other".

Quoting autodidact:

sending naked pictures of oneself to an SO isn't an approriate action for a kid, but it doesn't make her a whore. 
 


Quoting Anonymous:

Wouldnt you want to know if that was your whore of a kid sending naked pics? Of course you would. Tell them.






Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Dec. 23, 2012 at 12:53 AM

I wouldnt care if the relationship gets ruined or not but I tell the girls parents asap. What if someone gets ahold of your ds phone and sends the nake picture to everyone? Or if she sends the picture to someone that is over 13 and then its comsidered child porn? This girl needs to be stopped and now.

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