13 year olds sexting
- 229 Replies
Long story short, the school confiscated my sons phone for texting in class. He was acting shady about it and they called me to tell me. I told them I would be right there to get it. When I got there I looked and discovered his girlfriend from another school sent him a naked picture.
DS is 14, just turned this month. His gf is 13, turning 14 on the 25th of Jan. The principle said that they have no right to tell her parents, nor any right to get him in trouble as it is two 13 year olds and there is no real age difference (in our state it isn't considered child porn like other states). They said they are turning a blind eye to it and not getting involved and its left up to us.
My husband and I are in disagreement. He thinks we need to tell her parents. I don't want to.
Hear me out. We moved here a few years ago and ds has had issues making lasting connections and friendships. If I ruin this it might devastate him and further alienate him, if I tell her parents they will never allow her to speak to him again and isolate him from this new group of kids which are very well behaved compared to the group at his school (we had a party and the group from the school was cursing and acting crazy, the new group from the other school was well dressed and very polite). I just want the relationship to run its course. Plus I hardly know her parents, how I even start this conversation? As a mother I would want to know what my daughter was doing, but on the other hand, I check my son's phone (she had just sent this to him) so I would have already known what he was doing and busted him anyway which they need to be doing, not me. They aren't having sex, they aren't allowed to go anywhere together. He is literally under my thumb at all times, they don't attend the same school, I go with him to all of his sporting events etc. I think its natural curiosity.
What are your thoughts? Who do you agree with? Me or my husband?
Her parents need to know so that they can protect her, not from your son but other predators.
Quoting Retrokitty:
I would inform her her actions have consequences. I believe in natural and logical consequences so probably no help.
Quoting marinenonstop:
There's actually a well known story if a girl you sent a top less photo of herself to her ex bf because he told her they would get back together if she did. She was a virgin and he dumped her for not being intimate. He showed her photo to everyone. Her parents went as far as going to the cops because over night her life at school was ruined..she was being tormented. The police told her that if they wanted to move forward with legal actions that she could be charged with generating and distribution of child porn.
Minors sexting is not innocent or nothing to worry about.
Quoting Retrokitty:
I wouldn't tell the parents. I don't think I ever would tell parents about things like that unless I felt their life was in danger.
Sorry ... You've got to tell!
Right now, this 13 year old girl, sent a naked picture to someone who has a caring family, and raising a good kid. Next, time what if she isn't so lucky!? She's only 13 ... what if this was her first time, or nearly first time. You may stop a train wreck behavior. Also, just as a parent to parent ... wouldn't you want to know!?
Quoting xixCandyxix:i'm on your side. its not breaking a law so let them be.
It's not about the sexting between them that I think is the issue. Think bigger then that. What happens if she does this again so carelessly. (yes, between them is on the table)... but I think the reason for telling is to potentially stop a growing snowball. Her parents should know.
I'd tell her parents but in a kind manner, not in a "your daughter sent my son a naked picture how dare you be bad parents!" kind of way lol. I wouldn't care if he had the best friends in the world, a 13 year old sending a naked picture to another kid her age is just inappropriate and there would be consequences, especially the phone being limited to a prepaid cell phone that can't receive picture messages etc. I understand how you feel about your son having issues with social connections, but it still doesn't justify what the "children" are doing. They aren't adults, they need some sort of punishment and some better teaching about why they shouldn't be doing that sort of thing at that young of an age.
*forgot to add :
Everyone is saying that they need to be punished, its not your job to punish another child. Do whatever you feel is needed to your child.
They are trying to ban buying soda from FS
Do you REGRET having kids