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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

13 year olds sexting

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Long story short, the school confiscated my sons phone for texting in class.  He was acting shady about it and they called me to tell me.  I told them I would be right there to get it.  When I got there I looked and discovered his girlfriend from another school sent him a naked picture.  

DS is 14, just turned this month.  His gf is 13, turning 14 on the 25th of Jan.  The principle said that they have no right to tell her parents, nor any right to get him in trouble as it is two 13 year olds and there is no real age difference (in our state it isn't considered child porn like other states).  They said they are turning a blind eye to it and not getting involved and its left up to us.  

My husband and I are in disagreement.  He thinks we need to tell her parents.  I don't want to.  

Hear me out.  We moved here a few years ago and ds has had issues making lasting connections and friendships.  If I ruin this it might devastate him and further alienate him, if I tell her parents they will never allow her to speak to him again and isolate him from this new group of kids which are very well behaved compared to the group at his school (we had a party and the group from the school was cursing and acting crazy, the new group from the other school was well dressed and very polite).  I just want the relationship to run its course.  Plus I hardly know her parents, how I even start this conversation?  As a mother I would want to know what my daughter was doing, but on the other hand, I check my son's phone (she had just sent this to him) so I would have already known what he was doing and busted him anyway which they need to be doing, not me.  They aren't having sex, they aren't allowed to go anywhere together.  He is literally under my thumb at all times, they don't attend the same school, I go with him to all of his sporting events etc.  I think its natural curiosity.  

What are your thoughts?  Who do you agree with?  Me or my husband? 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Replies (221-229):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 51 on Dec. 23, 2012 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I think what the kids are doing is normal human nature and making a big deal about it will do more harm than good. I'm more liberal than cm though... I would ground him from his phone for a while, have a talk about safe sex and make condoms available. I would also explain how detrimental photos like that can be if they're floating around.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on Dec. 23, 2012 at 9:42 AM

 seriously, so your son social life is more important then you son getting naked picture sent to him??? am i reading this right? This a good group of kids?? first off, her mom would want to know, i have a 13 year old daughter ( now my daughter wouldn't be sending nude pic because i am always checking her phone) but if she did; i would want to know. and you said they are not having sex, they don't go to the same school, you are always watching him; what if they decide to skip school together then, how are you going to stop it then. iam sorry but i agree with your husband. you need to nip this in the bud now, not wait until the next thing you see is a pic of her pregnant belly.

mysticalmalissa
by Platinum Member on Dec. 23, 2012 at 9:45 AM

Your husband sounds like the only rational person in this situation.

SommerRayne06
by Silver Member on Dec. 23, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Look up Amanda Todd on youtube. This is where that girl could be headed!
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SommerRayne06
by Silver Member on Dec. 23, 2012 at 10:23 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRxfTyNa24A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Watch this, this girl ended up killking herself. Sorry I can't make it clicky, I am mobile.
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Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Dec. 23, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Yes. I'm majoring in child development also. I have a bit different veiw on parenting and I know that. One big thing is I don't care if my teenagers have sex. Shocker right? Obviously that doesn't mean letting them do whatever the hell they want am I will never directly tell them I'm okay with it. I will try to install morals and values. Tell them I would like them to wait until they are in a committed relationship and in love. Also for them to wait until they are older. I'm raising my kids so they can make informed decisions on their life not livin their life the way I want it to be lived. I will tell them why is right and wrong if they chose not to listen well there are either natural or logical consequences and or both.


Quoting elijahXmom:

Are you really a parent?






Quoting Retrokitty:

I would inform her her actions have consequences. I believe in natural and logical consequences so probably no help.








Quoting marinenonstop:

There's actually a well known story if a girl you sent a top less photo of herself to her ex bf because he told her they would get back together if she did. She was a virgin and he dumped her for not being intimate. He showed her photo to everyone. Her parents went as far as going to the cops because over night her life at school was ruined..she was being tormented. The police told her that if they wanted to move forward with legal actions that she could be charged with generating and distribution of child porn.









Minors sexting is not innocent or nothing to worry about.










Quoting Retrokitty:

I wouldn't tell the parents. I don't think I ever would tell parents about things like that unless I felt their life was in danger.










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elijahXmom
by on Dec. 23, 2012 at 1:30 PM
No because I agree with you the about sex. Sexting is very different she is under age does not understand the back this could have on her life. The girl is 13 send picture of herself half naked to her same age bf so so in my book think about how many hands a text goes threw before it reachable the sender. Then it's up to the sender to keep to himself ( the are both13 like either brain is working 100%) the thing is she could have already passed photos on to a grown men on the net or text. You understand the game this child is playing. Honey I have been on the net since I was.16 I know it was new then no cams all dail up no photo either I know what lays on the side the screen the 13 year old doesn't.


Quoting Retrokitty:

Yes. I'm majoring in child development also. I have a bit different veiw on parenting and I know that. One big thing is I don't care if my teenagers have sex. Shocker right? Obviously that doesn't mean letting them do whatever the hell they want am I will never directly tell them I'm okay with it. I will try to install morals and values. Tell them I would like them to wait until they are in a committed relationship and in love. Also for them to wait until they are older. I'm raising my kids so they can make informed decisions on their life not livin their life the way I want it to be lived. I will tell them why is right and wrong if they chose not to listen well there are either natural or logical consequences and or both.




Quoting elijahXmom:

Are you really a parent?









Quoting Retrokitty:

I would inform her her actions have consequences. I believe in natural and logical consequences so probably no help.











Quoting marinenonstop:

There's actually a well known story if a girl you sent a top less photo of herself to her ex bf because he told her they would get back together if she did. She was a virgin and he dumped her for not being intimate. He showed her photo to everyone. Her parents went as far as going to the cops because over night her life at school was ruined..she was being tormented. The police told her that if they wanted to move forward with legal actions that she could be charged with generating and distribution of child porn.











Minors sexting is not innocent or nothing to worry about.













Quoting Retrokitty:

I wouldn't tell the parents. I don't think I ever would tell parents about things like that unless I felt their life was in danger.














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.Nobody.
by on Dec. 23, 2012 at 1:35 PM
I would have a sit down with her parents. I would let them handle their kid. And I would block texting and pics from his cell. Actually... He would no longer have a cell.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 35 on Dec. 23, 2012 at 4:41 PM
Church lady? Lmao. I'm far from it.

Quoting autodidact:

whatever you say, Church Lady


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it does. At 13, there isnt such thing as an "significant other".



Quoting autodidact:

sending naked pictures of oneself to an SO isn't an approriate action for a kid, but it doesn't make her a whore. 
 



Quoting Anonymous:

Wouldnt you want to know if that was your whore of a kid sending naked pics? Of course you would. Tell them.



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