Poll
Question: If you got a gift from your ILs that you HATED and would never use - what course of action would you choose?
Total Votes: 236
I got earrings for Christmas from my ILs. They are riding stirrups. I don't ride horses - haven't since I was 12. (now I'm 26) I enjoy horses, but would not anywhere near qualify as being a horse enthusiast. My FIL did NOT talk this purchase over with my DH. I just spoke to the company, and they said I can return the earrings no problem and they will just return the money. I am going to put them in the mail tomorrow.
Additionally I will be telling them that they shouldn't worry about buying me gifts anymore. Their gifts come with "strings attached" and I'm just not interested in that.
ETA: My ILs think they know ME better than they know their own SON because they texted me and asked what they should get DH....I wonder why they didn't ask DH what they should get me....kind of strange don'cha think?
Quoting Anonymous:Geez..be grateful you got something! Some people got NOTHING!!!
It is kind of her taste. She loves kitschy Christmas type sweaters. She has about 40 of them, not counting the knitted VESTS she has that are Christmas themed. But they're not me, at all.
She doesn't exactly do thrift stores, but clearance at Kmart or Walmart are her best friends. I would rather have a clearance candle...but wait, not from her because she wants to buy me flowered scented candles which make me sick. I prefer spiced apple, cinnamon, peppermint, vanilla, black cherry, "food" scents.
Quoting Butterfly1108:Sounds like she might have shopped at a thrift store...not that is a bad thing. :/
The description you've explained or its just her taste...yuk! Does she think she is shopping for herself and hoping you'd give to her if you do not like it...lol GL
Your response was so funny to me I'm clicking "LIKE"
Quoting nurbabe82:
Quoting fairy_fan:
I try to return things but MIL is the type that buys things on clearance and are usually winter/Christmas themed. Not me at all.
One year she bought me a RED fleece jacket with this color BLUE snowflakes all over it. Not small snowflakes either, but HUGE 6 inch snow flakes. DH laughed and said it was the ugliest thing he had ever laid eyes on and told me to take it back. I took it back the day after and since it was now a clearance item, I got a whole $3. This is back long enough ago that $3 bought a pack of cigarettes, which is what I did with the money and liked the cigarettes much more than I could have ever liked that jacket.
Last year it was a shit brown sweater with rust-orange snowflakes with the tags cut off. I kept swearing I was going to throw it into the fireplace but DH wouldn't let me. I finally wore it the other day while we went shopping and he was rather embarrassed by how it looked on me. It went into the fireplace last night.
I think your MIL is my grandmother lol
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. ~Mark Twain
BTW, OP, I understand how you feel and don't think you are being ungrateful. I have complicated relationships with my parents and my ILs and I understand how it feels to get a backhanded gift.
My mother always asks me what I want for Christmas, but didn't this year and instead got me a waffle iron when she knows for a fact I have one because waffles are DD's favorite and she talks about how I make her waffles all the time. She tried to say my DD told her I didn't have one. Now I have to return it (because mine is only a couple years old and who needs a two?) and it would have been nice if she just had not gotten me anything or asked me what I wanted. I don't think it is ungrateful to not like a gift you were given, especially when you know the person knew more about what you would have liked or they didn't put any thought into it at all. The "thought that counts" only counts if thought was put into it.
I am at an age where I don't care too much about getting gifts, but if you are gonna get me one, at least make it something you know I need or want. Nothing ungrateful about that at all.
I feel the same way. I don't need, want, or expect gifts from my ILs. As paulie said in an earlier post, I am pretty sure my relationship with the ILs is irreparable at this point because of the things they have said and done.
My parents are AWESOME and treat DH so well, and even though they weren't always this good, they never would have treated DH badly like his parents treated me. Meh - so not looking forward to this conversation in 8 minutes...............
Quoting aka_speezolove:BTW, OP, I understand how you feel and don't think you are being ungrateful. I have complicated relationships with my parents and my ILs and I understand how it feels to get a backhanded gift.
My mother always asks me what I want for Christmas, but didn't this year and instead got me a waffle iron when she knows for a fact I have one because waffles are DD's favorite and she talks about how I make her waffles all the time. She tried to say my DD told her I didn't have one. Now I have to return it (because mine is only a couple years old and who needs a two?) and it would have been nice if she just had not gotten me anything or asked me what I wanted. I don't think it is ungrateful to not like a gift you were given, especially when you know the person knew more about what you would have liked or they didn't put any thought into it at all. The "thought that counts" only counts if thought was put into it.
I am at an age where I don't care too much about getting gifts, but if you are gonna get me one, at least make it something you know I need or want. Nothing ungrateful about that at all.
Yeah those are my favorite scents too...Hope things get better.
Quoting fairy_fan:It is kind of her taste. She loves kitschy Christmas type sweaters. She has about 40 of them, not counting the knitted VESTS she has that are Christmas themed. But they're not me, at all.
She doesn't exactly do thrift stores, but clearance at Kmart or Walmart are her best friends. I would rather have a clearance candle...but wait, not from her because she wants to buy me flowered scented candles which make me sick. I prefer spiced apple, cinnamon, peppermint, vanilla, black cherry, "food" scents.
Quoting Butterfly1108:Sounds like she might have shopped at a thrift store...not that is a bad thing. :/
The description you've explained or its just her taste...yuk! Does she think she is shopping for herself and hoping you'd give to her if you do not like it...lol GL
Your response was so funny to me I'm clicking "LIKE"
Quoting nurbabe82:
Quoting fairy_fan:
I try to return things but MIL is the type that buys things on clearance and are usually winter/Christmas themed. Not me at all.
One year she bought me a RED fleece jacket with this color BLUE snowflakes all over it. Not small snowflakes either, but HUGE 6 inch snow flakes. DH laughed and said it was the ugliest thing he had ever laid eyes on and told me to take it back. I took it back the day after and since it was now a clearance item, I got a whole $3. This is back long enough ago that $3 bought a pack of cigarettes, which is what I did with the money and liked the cigarettes much more than I could have ever liked that jacket.
Last year it was a shit brown sweater with rust-orange snowflakes with the tags cut off. I kept swearing I was going to throw it into the fireplace but DH wouldn't let me. I finally wore it the other day while we went shopping and he was rather embarrassed by how it looked on me. It went into the fireplace last night.
I think your MIL is my grandmother lol
Which I have for fashion only, never rode a horse in my life lol
It's been 17 years...I don't think it will ever get any better. GMIL's gifts are even worse. They are thrift store or whatever she has laying around the house no longer in use.
Quoting Butterfly1108:Yeah those are my favorite scents too...Hope things get better.
Quoting fairy_fan:It is kind of her taste. She loves kitschy Christmas type sweaters. She has about 40 of them, not counting the knitted VESTS she has that are Christmas themed. But they're not me, at all.
She doesn't exactly do thrift stores, but clearance at Kmart or Walmart are her best friends. I would rather have a clearance candle...but wait, not from her because she wants to buy me flowered scented candles which make me sick. I prefer spiced apple, cinnamon, peppermint, vanilla, black cherry, "food" scents.
Quoting Butterfly1108:Sounds like she might have shopped at a thrift store...not that is a bad thing. :/
The description you've explained or its just her taste...yuk! Does she think she is shopping for herself and hoping you'd give to her if you do not like it...lol GL
Your response was so funny to me I'm clicking "LIKE"
Quoting nurbabe82:
Quoting fairy_fan:
I try to return things but MIL is the type that buys things on clearance and are usually winter/Christmas themed. Not me at all.
One year she bought me a RED fleece jacket with this color BLUE snowflakes all over it. Not small snowflakes either, but HUGE 6 inch snow flakes. DH laughed and said it was the ugliest thing he had ever laid eyes on and told me to take it back. I took it back the day after and since it was now a clearance item, I got a whole $3. This is back long enough ago that $3 bought a pack of cigarettes, which is what I did with the money and liked the cigarettes much more than I could have ever liked that jacket.
Last year it was a shit brown sweater with rust-orange snowflakes with the tags cut off. I kept swearing I was going to throw it into the fireplace but DH wouldn't let me. I finally wore it the other day while we went shopping and he was rather embarrassed by how it looked on me. It went into the fireplace last night.
I think your MIL is my grandmother lol
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. ~Mark Twain
bumping so ppl see why your inlaws are nuts.
Quoting Anonymous:BURN THEM! lol seriously fuck them and their bs. Do what you feel is best hun.
Quoting newmom3012:
Touché. Bigoted hateful people who talk shit about me and my husband to other family members. Also making our pregnancy about them. Told my husband he isn't the man of the family and we are embarrassments to the family name. I could literally go on for pages. But that's pretty much a summary. His parents are bummed that their indoctrination of their kids didnt stick once they got into the real world. They sheltered and homeschooled them and kept them from seeing people in bathing suits because "that's sick". In their eyes.
Quoting Anonymous:You can't not discuss what it is the inlaws have done to you and get upset when ppl are calling you ungrateful. You sound very ungrateful based off what you chose to post. We can only go by the details you posted.
are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"
- newmom3012
on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:07 PM