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He doesn't want to spend time with our kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 108 Replies
My husband has never been terribly involved in our kids lives. He comes home from work, hugs them and then tells them to go play while he talks to mommy. He won't let them come out of their rooms/play room until dinner is ready (usually an hour or so later). At dinner he expects them to sit quietly and eat their food and only speak if it's an emergency. Then he tells them to go get ready for bed and to call me when they're ready to be tucked in. He doesn't see them again until after work the next day. On the weekends, he makes them go outside or stay in their rooms because they're interrupting grown up time. If I want to do something as a family he acts extremely irritated and basically tells me "this better not take all day" even if we have nowhere else to be. He's constantly annoyed with them for just acting like normal kids. They want so badly for daddy to spend quality time with them, but he refuses. He always has an excuse as to why he "can't right now". I'm just so sick of this. They need him to show them that he loves them, but he doesn't make time for them...ever. Just fyi this isn't something I consider divorce worthy. I just want to know what you would do to encourage him to spend time with them.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Beenhereforever
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:19 PM
2 moms liked this
Yeah screw that! I don't even know what to say but that makes me mad.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:20 PM
6 moms liked this
That is something I consider divorce worthy. You are not helping your kids feel like they are worth anything to their dad.. It the mothers job to protect them.
Homeschoolmom99
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this

If a divorce is not an option you have a couple of options

1. You demand he go to see a family therapist

2. You and the kids plan things away from him

to go with #2 give him a man space!

I have to ask are his parents this wacky?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:23 PM
It makes me mad too. I've tried talking to him about it and he'll cry and apologize and swear it's going to get better and it will for a day, but then it goes right back to ignoring them :(

Quoting Beenhereforever:

Yeah screw that! I don't even know what to say but that makes me mad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I knew someone would make it my fault. It never fails. I tell them constantly how much he loves them, but I can't show it for him. That's up to him.

Quoting Anonymous:

That is something I consider divorce worthy. You are not helping your kids feel like they are worth anything to their dad.. It the mothers job to protect them.
PEEK05
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:26 PM
9 moms liked this

Why do you allow that? I would tell my kids they are allowed out of their rooms and tell my husband to grow the fuck up.

hippiemom45
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry but I wouldn't stay with someone like that. He sounds like an selfish ass
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:29 PM
He actually sees a therapist once a week already, so I'm hoping that will help. Me and the kids have an entire fun life apart from him. I take them everywhere. They don't act like it bothers them, but deep down I know it has to.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

If a divorce is not an option you have a couple of options

1. You demand he go to see a family therapist

2. You and the kids plan things away from him

to go with #2 give him a man space!

I have to ask are his parents this wacky?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:29 PM
Yes I couldn't handle that. Not at all. Sorry mama but the kids deserve better. Not your fault as it sounds like you have tried but it is up to you to do something about it if he won't change!
evelynolivesmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:30 PM

 I don't know what you can do, he has to want to spend time with them, sorry. I also wouldn't allow rules like that to be set in my house.

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