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Is this a fair compromise?

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:25 PM
  • 5 Replies
My fiancé recently moved in and he and I have a problem with his cell phone.

I am of the mindset that for the most part when we are home together (average about 3 non sleeping hours a day) that we should focus on each other and not our phones or computers.

He is not.

I don't have a problem with the occasional phone call or text but that's the thing it's not occasional, it's constant. He can be sending a text to someone and in the process he will get 4 other texts from people over things that he admits isnt important.

I think if he gets a text from someone and he doesn't feel he can ignore it until he leaves for work the next day he can text the person but also tell them something along the lines of I won't be texting you anymore tonight.

I also don't have a problem with him texting his kids at all, I've never once complained about him texting his kids and that's not what I want to curb. Same goes for his mom, I don't mind that he talks to her in the evening.

I limit my cell phone convos and texts when he's home, I always pick up if my grandmother calls or if my boss texts ill answer her but that's really about it because I feel it's rude to ignore the person in front of me and sit on my phone texting.

When he is texting that's all he can do, he ignores me. I can ask a question and he doesn't hear it. I could be in the middle of a conversation with him and he tunes me out the moment he picks his phone up.

So am I out of line when I say I don't want him spending our evenings on his phone? Is there a better compromise?

He and I have talked about this and he promises he will change and he may do good for a month or two and then he slips back into constantly on his phone.
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by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:25 PM
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Replies (1-5):
WhitleyLyles
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:26 PM
I dont really know what I think about this
kind of sounds stupid but I kind of understand too,
he isnt a child though so idk
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TrulyMicka
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:28 PM

i wish I knew...df is always on his phone...playing games, youtube...texting...fb it gets on  my damn nerves

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:29 PM
If I didn't say anything he would sit there playing on Facebook and his phone all evening ignoring me. That's not a relationship.

Quoting WhitleyLyles:

I dont really know what I think about this

kind of sounds stupid but I kind of understand too,

he isnt a child though so idk
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xtwistedxlovex
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Why not set aside a specific time frame to be spent together, distraction-free? An hour a day would be much more manageable than 3, so he should be able to stick to it.
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:54 PM
Hmm, that's doable. Ill talk to him tonight about that.

Quoting xtwistedxlovex:

Why not set aside a specific time frame to be spent together, distraction-free? An hour a day would be much more manageable than 3, so he should be able to stick to it.
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