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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I need some help on how to.... EDIT (A vent as well because I made a stupid choice.. You will see why)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

figure out bills for this weird living situation that I stupidly allowed to happen...

   Okay everything is in MY name. We have a house 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms. The living situation is its me, dh, and our 3 kids. Her and her son.  She is recently divorced no job, pretty much been mooching off of us ( she has been my friend for over 20 years and I want to kick her lazy ass out!!!) WE both attend school online. My oldest 2 girls are in school full time and my youngest will go half days in August. I have a routine that is in place. The kids are in their room by 730 so that they can read and wind down and be asleep by 8 or 830 at the latest.  We go to bed early (so does her son who is only 2 months younger than my youngest) she stays up all hours of the night and she in turns sleeps all day. Sure I pull all nighters (last night as an example I went to bed at 3 am and in a strange turn she went to bed at 930 and just got up I got up at 7 with my kids like normal) ANYWAY,

She is taking 2 rooms and a bathroom and  I have 2 rooms and a bathroom. Since everything is in my name I have the bigger room and bathroom (which my kids use as well.). I lived in this house for 2 months before she moved in and the bills were a hell of a lot cheaper. I find my self being over whelmed because I am the only one cooking, cleaning, running errands, and taking care of the kids (where I have no problem doing so for my own kids cause well they are mine.But I end up by default taking care of hers because I will not not feed him or make sure that his needs are met. I am not some hart-less bitch)  My dh works swing shifts and my kids know that the house is a miserable place when dad is on graveyards and he gets woke up because of noise. her kid SCREAMS and whines all day long.  

 

Now she will be receiving her child support and dh and I are in agreement that she (and she knew this was going to happen) needs to help with expenses.  I do not want to take all her money because I want her to move out and SOON... But first she needs to have a job and vehicle not just child support. I really need to get all this figured out now because if not I am going to tell her lazy ass to get the eff out. This may make me a bitch but her son too I really do not care where she goes. ( I am at the point to where I want this house to be that of MY FAMILY.)

****EDIT*****

So, I have talked to her and warned her that stuff has to change. Starting tomorrow everyone except dh (because he works swing shifts and is on graveyards right now) will be on my schedule.  That means up at 5 kids up at 630 with t he exceptions of weekends because I do want sleep sometime. There are more house rules in place and an understanding that well I am tired of this crap I didn't let my brother do this to me I sure as hell am not doing this crap anymore. She has 2 weeks to find a job or she can be out on the street with her son. If she really wants to stay here there are 3 job openings in town that are walking distance from my house that she can get. No lets see how bad she wants a roof over her head...

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kissmiss213
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:56 PM

oh i would be so sick of it too. sorry hun.

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:56 PM
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Tell her she needs to pay 1/2 the bills now and be out in 2 months.

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Whats the dilemma? Tell her to get off her lazy ass and help with the kids, cleaning and cooking, as well as getting a job to pay rent... All of that is what adults have to do. By not confronting her now, you are enabling her behavior and she has no reason to do it. Hell, Id love to live for free, have a housekeeper/chef and a nanny. Who wouldnt?
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Saille717
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:01 PM
2 moms liked this
How long has she been there?

Take all the utilities and grocery bill and house payment, insurance, etc, divide it by the number of people in the household. She is responsible for her family's portion. Period. Stop enabling her. She's not going to try hard enough to succeed as long as you're making it so easy to fail.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:02 PM


 NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE A BITCH.. KICK HER ASS OUT !!! SHE HAS TO WANT TO HELP HERSELF !! OR GIVE HER A TIME LIMIT.. WHAT EVER SHE GETS IN CHILD SUPPORT.. SHE SHOULD BE GIVING YOU SOMETHING AND SAVING THE REST TO MOVE OUT.. i WOULD NOT ALLOW HER TO SIT ON HER ASS AND DO NOTHING.. AND SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A GOOD ROUTINE FOR YOUR FAMILY SHE SHOULD RESPECT THAT AND FOLLOW THEM.. this kind of shit pisses me off .. when hard working family .. and then you get some one like her.. 

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:07 PM
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wait, you have 3 kids in one room and her kid has its own room? not fair. if that is the case I would want to make her responsible for half the bills. but seeing as how she is 2/7 in the household she should be responsible for 29% of the bills + whatever you think is appropriate for the child care you give to her child while she sleeps the day away. if you don't want to charge her for the baby sitting I would send her child to wake her up if she decides to sleep the day away

D.O.E.
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:07 PM

can she not get assistance to get her own place? is her not having a car YOUR problem? why is she suddenly YOUR problem?

i have left my dh before, i went down to welfare with the rental agreement for the house i had found, and asked for a few months help (i was also working but not making enough to make ends meet) and of course, i got the help i needed. 

there is no reason she should be your problem.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:08 PM


Quoting Robsessed98:

Whats the dilemma? Tell her to get off her lazy ass and help with the kids, cleaning and cooking, as well as getting a job to pay rent... All of that is what adults have to do. By not confronting her now, you are enabling her behavior and she has no reason to do it. Hell, Id love to live for free, have a housekeeper/chef and a nanny. Who wouldnt?


This only works for a few days IF I am lucky a week. Yes, I would love this but at the end of the day I would HATE myself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Same thing happened to us 2 yrs ago.
It was awful except I had 4 kids and she had 3 kids. I just made it an unbearable place to be and got very short with her and her kids because they were awful and destroyed everything.
She gr the point and moved out with in a couple weeks. They'd been there for a few months.

Good luck hope she leaves soon
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:12 PM


Quoting bustybee:

wait, you have 3 kids in one room and her kid has its own room? not fair. if that is the case I would want to make her responsible for half the bills. but seeing as how she is 2/7 in the household she should be responsible for 29% of the bills + whatever you think is appropriate for the child care you give to her child while she sleeps the day away. if you don't want to charge her for the baby sitting I would send her child to wake her up if she decides to sleep the day away

Yeah, girls share a room but they love that. We lived in a 2 bedroom trailer before we moved to this place so that is kinda what they are used to. 

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