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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Need some rational advice because I'm very upset. ****UPDATED *******

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 60 Replies





I will be contacting my lawyer in the morning and getting his advice. Not sure why I posed this post as a question. I was and still am very upset. I know what I need to do. It may be nothing but it definitely can not be ignored and the best thing I can do is get to the bottom of it legally.



I'm divorced from my first husband. We have two boys together, they are five and seven. My ex and I are both remarried. We agreed when we split if we ever got remarried we expect our children to respect and listen to their step parents but that any spankings would only be given by us, their parents. We are both remarried. Spanking rarely happens at our house, they have to do something very serious for me to spank them. I can't even remember the last time I spanked them. Well I just picked them up from their dad about an hour ago and what they told me on the way home has me very upset.



My five year old said that his step mom got upset with him over tying his shoes. We have been working on it at home and he is getting better but still needs help. So that was number one. Then he said mom Michelle spanks us a lot. I said what do you mean ? He said every weekend when we are with them we get spanked. My seven year old has been getting upset lately when it's Friday and time to go to their dads. He cries and hugs me and says I just miss you mom. Something about it has bugged me but I just figured it was because he was upset so it made me upset. Well when my five year old told me this, my seven year old said Brian, remember we aren't supposed to tell mom. I thought to myself what the fuck ??? I said what aren't you supposed to tell me ? And he said, that Michelle spanks us. He then said that's why I don't like going to dads because we are always getting spanked. And when dad does it it's really hard. And here's the kicker, my seven year old told me if one of them gets spanked for something then the other gets spanked because Michelle says to.



I'm not quite sure how to handle this, I'm livid. My husband does not spank my children because he agrees its not his place which is also what my ex and I decided if either of us got remarried and now I find this out. They both told me Michelle gets upset with them a lot and tells their dad they need spankings and they get them. So it sounds to me like Michelle is getting frustrated with them and taking it out on them by spanking them. Michelle is 42 and has no children of her own. And of course my ex listens to whatever she says. We were getting along till he married her, now I'm not allowed to speak to him. It's been getting a little worse all the time. I keep my cool and be the bigger person but this has put me over the edge.



What do you all think ?


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CuriousArentYa
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:28 PM
3 moms liked this

Oohhhhh I would be LIVID!!!!!! I can't even think rationally right now I would be so livid. 

Okay so I thought about it. Dad, Michelle and I would have a sit down meeting and Michelle would be put on notice. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:29 PM
3 moms liked this
If he is physically abusing your kids and his wife is egging him on then you need to consult your lawyer and get custody adjusted. Why do you even need to ask? If someone was hitting my kid I'd be doing whatever it took to stop it, not sitting in cafemom wondering what to do.
SalemWitchChild
by Blessed be on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:30 PM
2 moms liked this

I think I'd insist on talking with him and getting to the bottom of the problem. I'd insist that he not spank unless he calls you first or is an "approved" reason to spank. If he doesn't agree I'd revisit the issue of full custody and when he gets visitations.

I think the child not wanting to go is a huge red flag. I wouldn't force them to go if they don't want to.

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd tell the ex straight out if his wife lays a hand on my children again they won't be going over there, and his visitation with the kids will be supervised.

ebbierowe
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:30 PM
3 moms liked this

 I can't give you a rational answer cause that pissed me off reading it. I'd spank her 42 year old ass....

and why the hell can't you talk to your kid's father...the lady is whacked...and insecure..

elwalters77
by The Singing Teacher on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think you'll find rational advice in Confessions
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this
It's honestly me venting. Your are right I don't need to ask, I am going to contact my lawyer in the morning. I'm just upset and mad.

Quoting Anonymous:

If he is physically abusing your kids and his wife is egging him on then you need to consult your lawyer and get custody adjusted. Why do you even need to ask? If someone was hitting my kid I'd be doing whatever it took to stop it, not sitting in cafemom wondering what to do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:35 PM
He told me that she feels I still want him. The whole thing is stupid.

Quoting ebbierowe:

 I can't give you a rational answer cause that pissed me off reading it. I'd spank her 42 year old ass....


and why the hell can't you talk to your kid's father...the lady is whacked...and insecure..

FL2AK
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:35 PM
I would call him and ask if he wants to visit his wife in jail.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to talk to your ex.  Explicitely remind him that you agreed the steps do not spank the children.  Then explain to him that spanking a child who did nothing wrong is abusive.  (I don't think I'd worry too much about the dad spanking "really hard" part.  Aren't spankings supposed to be hard and hurt?  Isn't that the point?)  Tell the ex that if he won't agree to talk to you and work out something that you BOTH (not exes, just you 2) agree with, then you will go to your lawyer and have it court ordered.

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