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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ooohhhhh newlyweds.....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

So my sister just got married a week ago. They didn't live together or anything before marriage. They spent the night together a few times, but never officially moved in.

Anyway, she cracks me up. She said she felt bad the other day, when she "had to ask him" for $90 to pay a bill. WHAT?! He's your HUSBAND!!! The reason he makes money is to pay the bills! lol!

She hasn't even officially moved in with him. His parents have been living in his house because they are trying to sell their own. She hates being there... so she goes to my  house, or my parents house, or her place. lol. Married, and can't even live together. And no... apparently his parents haven't even OFFERED to move out.

Anyway, her job is year round, but it's the slow season so she's not getting very many shifts. She says she feels bad counting on his income. I'm like, wtf do you think stay at home mom's do? They stay at home. And he brings in the money. It's totally OKAY for you to be not working and use his income.

Anyway, did any of you have an adjustment period when you got married? Did you live seperately, or ask to borrow money, or anything else? I don't think DH and I ever had these problems. I can't remember....

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I personally feel if a family needs 2 incomes then both should work. However, id never let my DH tell me I need to fill his gas tank cause he filled mine. Like what? I'm glad with us that his money is my money and my money is his money. Same bank account, same bills, same house, same everything.

There's no way I would live seperate from my DH though, although id never marry someone I haven't lived with yet either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:47 PM

Oh she WANTS to work... its just she's not getting any shifts right now so she can't contribute. She feels bad, but I told her she doesn't NEED to feel bad. Like seriously. He's there to provide for you both... so don't feel like you need to go out and "pay him back" or whatever.

I edited the post cuz I felt like it was too long...lol. So some of the info you metioned here isn't in the post anymore... (just in case anyone reads this and doesn't understand!)

Quoting Anonymous:

I personally feel if a family needs 2 incomes then both should work. However, id never let my DH tell me I need to fill his gas tank cause he filled mine. Like what? I'm glad with us that his money is my money and my money is his money. Same bank account, same bills, same house, same everything.

There's no way I would live seperate from my DH though, although id never marry someone I haven't lived with yet either.


mich.el.le
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:50 PM

I think it was kind of odd at first, having to ask someone for money and figure out what the bills were and all that.  I don't really remember though.

The woman in the avi pic is not me, she is my inspiration.  I am a wife, a mother, and an aspiring trainer and nutritionist. I love seeing people get fit and healthy to lead the lives they are meant to live.

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:50 PM

She needs to talk to her husband about setting a firm deadline (like 1/30/13) for getting the in-laws out of their home.  

sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Not really. DH and I went home after our wedding and went on with our lives just as they had been before LOL. We had already built a life before we got married, so marriage really didn't change anything except my name.

They really need to sit down and talk about finances and what bills they each have a develop a plan as a family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:54 PM
Oh yes, still adjusting. He makes twice what I do so there's Def an adjustment. Combining finances was a nightmare :(
xtina8817
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:58 PM
For me, no. But my SO always says "if younger x today I'll pay you back on y"...but we joined acxounts and live together. I always tell him he's being silly, its OUR money and I trust him
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:59 PM

omg right?! But they have no private time to discuss it. His parents are always there. And everyone else is really comfortable in the house except her. She doesn't even feel like she can go into the fridge without asking lol.

But ya... they gotsta GO. I'm a bit annoyed that they didn't start packing when the wedding announcement was made....like come on guys. Give them their freaking house....

her Dh says that since she's not working very much, and his income isn't enough to cover everything, he's okay with them staying and helping with the bills until things pick up for her at work. Idk if that counts as a timeline. I'd rather be broke and pick up a second job, and have my privacy....lol.

Quoting Melissa_4:

She needs to talk to her husband about setting a firm deadline (like 1/30/13) for getting the in-laws out of their home.  


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2012 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this

ya they've been trying. But things have been crazy since the wedding (a week ago today!) and I know she has a list of all her bills and stuff, but idk if they've actually sat down and worked it out. Apparently he has a TON of credit card debt. She's not happy about that....

I just... idk. I think it's so cute and adorable how they are SO new. The don't have ANY experiences living together or whatever. I know they'll figure it out, but for now it's super cute. I can't wait to tease her in a year about "remember when you asked him to borrow money?!?!" lol....

Quoting sheramom4:

Not really. DH and I went home after our wedding and went on with our lives just as they had been before LOL. We had already built a life before we got married, so marriage really didn't change anything except my name.

They really need to sit down and talk about finances and what bills they each have a develop a plan as a family.


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