*updated again 1/4/13* ill be single in 1 hour 40 minutes! :) pic in replys page 21 23 and 24
I'm so scared and so giddy. I have held back for 4 months!
We are going to "talk". Ill update later. Sorry y'all. So.far its how'd you get these, and trying to blame me for snooping.
2nd update: first my baby got the first kiss of 2013!
Dh (stbxdh) never got mad. He tried to turn it on me a few times. He was defensive. I told him if he really wanted to explain himself then he needs to leave to get his facts in order. I wont deal with lies again. I made it clear that I am not agreeing to work anything out. But I will hear his reason, thoughts and feelings. After 9 years together I feel he should his chance to explain. So we chatted about his leaving and what it meant for our baby. I cried, it was hard seeing the man I depend on struggle to look at me. There is so much more but I need to tend to.the baby. And get some more sleep.
Thank you everyone!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, so I have learned that women who want ever single detail are insane! He gave me some details of the "affair" and ugh it was horrid! I don't wanna hear what or how they did anything! Period. Not sure he gets that. He has been gone since the morning of the 1st. He's staying at my brothers.he has come over daily to see the baby. Sometimes ill hangout and sometimes ill just let them be. Depends. I talked to some friends about everything. Just to get it out. One suggested I not make a life long choice while I'm still recovering from birth. (Hormones and physical) and I agree. I was already a mess of emotion before this since giving birth. So I'm going to start talking to someone Monday! And try to get my mind together. As of this moment I plan to remain friends and Co parents. But I do not want to remain in a marriage that has hurt so much. My feelings may change but for now that is my choice.
I am holding up okay. I have moments where its so hard. And moments where I feel so free. Then I look my tiny baby and feel so bad for her not having her parents together and happy. Will she resent us? Me? Hus family is behind me 100% as is mine. They all understand. Fir bow despite all of this I am trying to his good side. He is a good daddy. He loves our baby. And I'm happy that we both agree he should be around as much as humanly possible.
The days seem to.blur together and the nights drag on. I'm tired and sleep when possible. Sorry I have not updated until now.
So that's the update for now.
Again thank you for all the support. It really means a lot to me right now.