I am an unmedicated bipolar though. Reason I'm unmedicated is I manage it fine by knowing when I need to seek help. Most of my swings are not bad enough to require help, and easy enough for me to pull out of by knowing the trigger and changing something. My now dh knows I use this method and for 7 years it has worked wonderfully for me. Not to mention when I did try medication the amount for my weight and size was too little, but the amount I took was enough that I had no personality. I was literally a zombie. Sad part was it was the next dose up. So say I was suposed to have 5mg because of my weight if they chose to go by weight, it wasnt enough and had no effect but giving me the next dose up of 10mg I was a zombie. And the dosing between was never enough either.
But I think it's hitting me again, though I can't tell if it's bipolar just being goofy or if it's ppd again. I have depressed moments that I can kinda manage easy enough but I've got this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I wanna cry when I hold my newborn for no reason. I get sad when I look at my body and I feel like I'm not pretty enough anymore for my husband even though he tells me he loves my stretch marks and my wider hips. He doesn't even care about my post baby belly fat, he wants me to get into shape only for the purpose of being healthy not anything else.
I get overwhelmed when both boys need something, and sometimes I cry and get frustrated with my newborn. Sometimes because he's crying and I can't figure out what's wrong sometimes because I can't remember how I did something with my first.
Example: I went to give baby a bath cause he spat up all over me. I didn't remember how. I cried because I couldn't remember how to bathe my child. I figured it out again but it was like "how did I do this with ods?"
And I'm having issues with my memory too. I did have brain trauma a few years back from my ex shoving me that caused memory issues for a while but that was getting better. It's back like it was. I have trouble remembering if I ate, what time I fed the boys, how much I fed the baby, or even what I did yesterday.
I'm gonna talk to my doc at my 6 week check up, and talk to the family doc wensday when I take baby in for his newborn follow up. Just... Needed to vent I Geuss. I try to tell dh I think I may be having issues and he try's to tell me I'm ok and make me feel better instead. Which yea it's helpful to hear "nah honey your tough you'll be ok" but I don't wanna ignore this.