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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Ppd or bipolar acting up?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies
I can't tell... I had post partum depression with my first born mostly due to being overwhelmed by being a married yet single mom. I had my ex around but he didnt help at all until ds was 3 months and only because he had to because he refused to find a job so I went to work in a bar to keep my child fed.

I am an unmedicated bipolar though. Reason I'm unmedicated is I manage it fine by knowing when I need to seek help. Most of my swings are not bad enough to require help, and easy enough for me to pull out of by knowing the trigger and changing something. My now dh knows I use this method and for 7 years it has worked wonderfully for me. Not to mention when I did try medication the amount for my weight and size was too little, but the amount I took was enough that I had no personality. I was literally a zombie. Sad part was it was the next dose up. So say I was suposed to have 5mg because of my weight if they chose to go by weight, it wasnt enough and had no effect but giving me the next dose up of 10mg I was a zombie. And the dosing between was never enough either.

But I think it's hitting me again, though I can't tell if it's bipolar just being goofy or if it's ppd again. I have depressed moments that I can kinda manage easy enough but I've got this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I wanna cry when I hold my newborn for no reason. I get sad when I look at my body and I feel like I'm not pretty enough anymore for my husband even though he tells me he loves my stretch marks and my wider hips. He doesn't even care about my post baby belly fat, he wants me to get into shape only for the purpose of being healthy not anything else.

I get overwhelmed when both boys need something, and sometimes I cry and get frustrated with my newborn. Sometimes because he's crying and I can't figure out what's wrong sometimes because I can't remember how I did something with my first.

Example: I went to give baby a bath cause he spat up all over me. I didn't remember how. I cried because I couldn't remember how to bathe my child. I figured it out again but it was like "how did I do this with ods?"

And I'm having issues with my memory too. I did have brain trauma a few years back from my ex shoving me that caused memory issues for a while but that was getting better. It's back like it was. I have trouble remembering if I ate, what time I fed the boys, how much I fed the baby, or even what I did yesterday.

I'm gonna talk to my doc at my 6 week check up, and talk to the family doc wensday when I take baby in for his newborn follow up. Just... Needed to vent I Geuss. I try to tell dh I think I may be having issues and he try's to tell me I'm ok and make me feel better instead. Which yea it's helpful to hear "nah honey your tough you'll be ok" but I don't wanna ignore this.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:12 AM
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Replies (1-6):
SallyMJ
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:24 AM

Bipolar IS a type of depression. I have it also.

Please, go see a psychiatrist - you need a regular one. Get a different one than the one who put you on the meds - feeling like a zombie means the amount of, or even the specific meds themselves were not right for you.

You need to get on the right med(s). VERY VERY IMPORTANT. Bipolar is a serious health care issue. If you don't treat it correctly, it WILL get worse. Untreated bipolar patients have something like a 25% chance of committing suicide. Seriously! You are a mom and a wife, and a person. All three of these people need to get the right treatment. :)

I have been overmedicated and undermedicated before. It is fine tuning that can change. A good psychiatrist is your friend. As is a good therapist. The three of you are a team.  I've had a bad psych before, and now have a wonderful one.

I wish you the best of luck. Please write back if there is anything I can do to help.  :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:39 AM
That's just the problem though. I've tried almost every medication different doses same effect. There isn't a "right" amount for me it's always too little or too much.
MAXnBRYCESMomma
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:40 AM

Hormone changes can ramp up bipolar episodes.




~Annie~


lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:43 AM
It's just your body adjusting to the hormones. You'll even out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:43 AM
I'm bipolar also. And typically don't use Meds. I did after birth if my don because its so risky. And I will again next month.

They are always conning up with new Meds new combos. Call your dr ppd mixed with bipolar and cause bad things to happen!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Maybe that's all it is is my hormones. I just worry because I don't wanna miss something going amiss and my kids suffer for it. So I usually watch for any mental weirdness like a hawk. My kids need mommy, not zombie or mommy freaking out or off.
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