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Wow are you serious?! *update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I can't believe some of you women told another woman she deserve to have her man put his hands on her? What kind of shit is that? It doesn't matter if she was being a bitch no woman deserves that.

I don't know how to link it but it was a post about women who let themselves go. Some women didn't like that and asked was she married or had an so. She said no because he put his hands on her. They said she deserved for being a bitch. She never put her hands on him.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:49 AM
Replies (21-22):
by Mary on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Whoa that escalated in a bad direction. She may be a bitch, but nobody deserves abuse.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:12 AM

In the law there is something such as meeting force with equal force.   In other words, someone doesn't hit you, you don't hit them.   Plus, beyond that, you have a duty to leave if one person gets physical.   So I don't think a man has a 'right' to hit a woman no matter what she does - even if she hits him, he has a duty to walk away. Same with women.   A person has a duty to walk away if a man is getting physical. 

A man has slightly more responsibility to walk away.   He is usually taller and heavier (and in our culture, often more physically fit) so he has more of a duty to walk away.  There is also something of a cultural context as men generally have more experience in fighting and in our culture is viewed as the dominant person, so a man fighting against a female doesn't just have a physical, but also a mental, advantage.

Since the male usually has the   advantage, he has more of a duty to only do as much as he needs to do, to walk away.

  If you're getting held down, you may not have that option - to walk away.

And a lot of times when there is an assault on a wife, substance abuse is involved.   That can reduce a person's ability to restrain himself, but still doesn't excuse an assault.

There is fundamentally, nothing anyone can say or do, that gives anyone a right to assault them physically.   It might be something of a common reaction, certain things certainly can be 'triggers', but there is no real right involved.

I did have a boyfriend years ago who hurt one of my dogs, I grabbed him and pushed him away from the dog and out of the house and shut the door behind him, same if anyone ever touched my kids.   Anyone ever touched me, I'd get out and be gone.

But what male abusers do is they basically remove a person's ability to leave, so that becomes much more complicated.   A woman gets physically abused for years, eventually she might fight back some day, but often, no, the abuser has removed the abused person's ability to do that.  I think often, an abuser can remove a woman's ability to fight back for herself, but she might fight back if one of her kids is being hurt.   Or not.   Sometimes a man can even beat that out of a woman.

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