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Trying to prove dh wrong!!! Help me!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
I'm posting anon bc I have rl friends on here and really don't need them up my ass on this...

So, dh wants to have a threesome. I say absolutely not! It goes against everything I believe in, and I do NOT share well! He says he wants to broaden our relationship, make it more interesting.
I know for a fact how I will feel after the fact. It not only will go against my personal beliefs and morals, but it will break me. I will resent him, and I have a horrible feeling it would ruin our marriage.
I did agree to talk more about it after the new year, I wanted to wait so the holidays weren't completely screwed up. But my answer is the same. I do not want to do it, at all.

So here's what I'm wanting. If you or someone you know has had a threesome, what was the result? Also, if you have been approached by your dh and like me, didn't want to do it, how did you explain it to him?

Before I end this, dh is very understanding on how I feel and why I feel it... It doesn't make complete sense to him, but we all know how dense some guys are. Also, he seems like he would be ok with the 3rd being a guy, so I don't think it's all about him wanting to have sex with another woman... I think he just wants to have a bit extracurricular fun.

Thanks!!!
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
UgtaBkdnMe
by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:57 AM
9 moms liked this

Tell him it's ok as long as you can pick the guy.

notjstasocermom
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:58 AM
2 moms liked this

obviously he's not that understanding if he keeps asking for it knowing how you feel abut it.

iloveslayer
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:59 AM
ahh i would say no as well. When you are married it should only be husband and wife in bed...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this

It will ruin your relationship,  as you said you will resent him and it will also be nothing like he expected and he will wind up having issues as well.  If you think he's just wanting to have some extra and different fun maybe you two could try some toys or something like that.  I did a threesome with my ex and it was one of the nails on our coffin!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:00 AM
That's the thing tho, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with someone else. Do I think some guys are attractive? Of course! I'd be a corpse if I didn't... But I am completely satisfied having sex with only dh for the rest of my life.

Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

Tell him it's ok as long as you can pick the guy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:00 AM
3 moms liked this

I don't know - I can only answer if that were me, I would feel hurt that my husband feels he needs more to "spice" up our sex life.  To us, sex is a sacred act between the two of us that is meant to strengthen our love for each other and renew our commitment and our wedding vows.  It isn't just an animalistic act to get off.  I would never want a third person to be privy to the beauty of our intimate relationship, and I would be extremely hurt if my husband wanted that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:01 AM

Well, a good place to ask this would be "in the bedroom" group. Some of them have done it.

mary841108
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:01 AM

 i've never had one but a good friend of mine did and it was a huge piece in her divorce. they couldnt trust each other anymore after that and she said it got real uncomfortable afterwards. eventually every fight they got into someone would throw it in the others face and now they are divorced and have 2 kids in the middle of it all. He cant make you have one if you say no and hold your ground then you should be good. i wouldnt want one either, i enjoy having my husband to myself as i am sure he enjoys having me to himself. I think it goes against what marriage stands for and it is a slap in the face to your vows. that is still a form of adultry even if it is consented between both parties. you cant take marriage seriously if you are screwing someone else and its tacky and gross and slutish in my opinion.

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Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:01 AM

It will ruin your relationship maybe not right away but in the long run.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:02 AM
We have toys... I think it's more about the thrill and rush for him, not entirely sure. I cut the conversation short bc of how close it was to Christmas. I didn't want to fight.

Quoting Anonymous:

It will ruin your relationship,  as you said you will resent him and it will also be nothing like he expected and he will wind up having issues as well.  If you think he's just wanting to have some extra and different fun maybe you two could try some toys or something like that.  I did a threesome with my ex and it was one of the nails on our coffin!

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