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i need to make peace *long graphic maybe tmi*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
I need to find out how though. In 2007 i had a miscarriage as a result of a car accident. I was 8 maybe 9 weeks along but to me its still significant. I went to the hospital and everything checked out fine. 8 oclock that night i was at home resting and i felt wet so i got up to wipe off, i just grabbed whatever was close and wiped then turned on the light and it was blood. I immediately told my dad i was going to er and left. I went anf they did a whole check again and they said i wasnt dialated cervix was in tact and did an ultasound and everything was fine. I went to ob the next morning and same thing but i knew it was slowly happening i went home and laid in bed and was scared to even roll over. I was desparate for a cure. I talked to my ob that evening begging for him to tell me something to make the bleeding stop. Finally he told some things are out of his hands and this is one of them. That night the bleeding got more and more.so i went back to er and called the father and once again everything checked out. The next night is when it happened. I was taking a bath thinking that would stop the bleeding and i felt like i just had to push. Well i did. Really big clots then i reached down and pulled then there it was. I knew it was my baby. I grabbed everything put it in a bag covered it up with a towel and went to er. As soon as i got there someone took the bag and got me registered and said a dr would see me soon. After 3 hours in the waiting room i was done i went home called the fathet told him "its done" cleaned the bathroom and went to bed. Got up the next day like nothing happened. The only thing is i know what happened and i can never get it off of my mind. Deep down im devastated and feel like i lost a part of me. I truly believe she was the girl i have wanted and i have a picture of her in my mind. Itd always the same little girl. Looks like nobody i have ever seen and i see her in my dreams. I have even named her. I feel like if i believe it all too much ill be disappointed. Well thats my story sorry it was so long
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jbirdsladie27
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:34 AM
((((HUGS))))
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MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:35 AM
I've never had a miscarriage so I can't relate, but it sounds to me that you never went through the grieving process.

Have you thought about therapy? You need to talk to someone about your feelings or they're going to continue to eat you up inside.
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TwinmomAlicia
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:36 AM
I am so sorry. Maybe a memorial or service of some kind will help you put her to rest. Good luck!
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goodmama85
by Diamond Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:37 AM
I'm so sorry mama*big hugs*
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BamaMommy2
by Angel.N.Disguise on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss!!   *hugs*

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Never gave myself a chance to grieve...my mom.died in 2005 and i was still grieving that. At the time i thought i was just rolling all grief into one


Quoting MichLW69:

I've never had a miscarriage so I can't relate, but it sounds to me that you never went through the grieving process.



Have you thought about therapy? You need to talk to someone about your feelings or they're going to continue to eat you up inside.

Mamasgirl524
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:39 AM
No words just hugs. So sorry mama.
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MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:42 AM
You clearly have not. There's no shame in depression and grieving. Talk to someone, so that you can grieve for the child you lost. Are you still with the father? Can you talk to him?

Also is someone is heartless and says to get over it, don't listen to them. I don't think people ever get over a death, time just teaches is to learn to cope with it.

Good luck.


Quoting Anonymous:

Never gave myself a chance to grieve...my mom.died in 2005 and i was still grieving that. At the time i thought i was just rolling all grief into one




Quoting MichLW69:

I've never had a miscarriage so I can't relate, but it sounds to me that you never went through the grieving process.





Have you thought about therapy? You need to talk to someone about your feelings or they're going to continue to eat you up inside.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:45 AM
I havent talked to the father since that night and when i see any of his family.members i run the opposite direction. I cant face him bc he was the passenger in the truck that hit me.


Quoting MichLW69:

You clearly have not. There's no shame in depression and grieving. Talk to someone, so that you can grieve for the child you lost. Are you still with the father? Can you talk to him?



Also is someone is heartless and says to get over it, don't listen to them. I don't think people ever get over a death, time just teaches is to learn to cope with it.



Good luck.




Quoting Anonymous:

Never gave myself a chance to grieve...my mom.died in 2005 and i was still grieving that. At the time i thought i was just rolling all grief into one






Quoting MichLW69:

I've never had a miscarriage so I can't relate, but it sounds to me that you never went through the grieving process.







Have you thought about therapy? You need to talk to someone about your feelings or they're going to continue to eat you up inside.


angelbabies11
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 11:48 AM


Quoting goodmama85:

I'm so sorry mama*big hugs*
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