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Too much to ask DH for?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I wasn't sure I ever wanted to have kids, then a few months ago found out DH and I are expecting (time to get used to the idea!)  He has wanted kids since he knew he could have them, and I was never against it, just thought waiting would be better for me to mature more (we're 25).  Anyway, we both have been regular marijuana users for years, when we met and when we concieved.  Naturally when I found out I cut that out of my routine and I've asked DH to slowly cut it out of his.  He did, for awhile, but then I started to feel like he was back to using as much as he was before. Having it around does not help me stay away from it and usually makes me want to smoke a bit, so I asked him not to bring it in the house at all.  Now, he smokes on his way home or says "I'm going out to the car"  and disappears for 20 min, coming back reeking.  This morning I asked him if he planned to quit by the time the baby comes (6 more months) and he said yes, but I could tell he didn't want to talk about it.  Then about 20 min later he says to me "when are you going to start eating healthier?"  attacking me about something that I have been working on and made drastic imporvements (thought quitting smoking was more important!)  Anyway, I told him he was acting like an addict and he got so mad (like an addict would) and I kind of chuckled, beacuse it was just all ridiculous. He said that I have too many expectations and I told him "yes, I expect you to not be smoking when we have the baby.  If you're still smoking you'll have to shower everytime after before you can touch the baby and it will be a huge hassel and I would prefer if you quit."  He threw and shattered the cup he was holding. 

I feel like the whole thing is ridiculous and he is acting like an addict and a child, throwing a temper tantrum.  He left hours ago and hasn't come back.  I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the whole situtation and needed to vent - so thanks for reading this silly drama BS!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:02 PM
1 mom liked this
If you quit so can he.... You had to quit when you found out you was Preggo so why doesn't he?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:04 PM
I stopped at "he smokes on his way home ..."
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this
He's not going to change until the baby is born. Takes a while for the guys to connect. That being said. I occasionally smoke pot while pregnant. I say give him some space. You sound like a crazy pregnant woman with raging hormones
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:04 PM
Yep not fair Dad!!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:05 PM

 He has to shower each time before touching the baby? Thats going to be inconvienent. For both of you, really.

audreesmama
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:06 PM

All the more reason for him to give it up now.

Quoting Anonymous:

 He has to shower each time before touching the baby? Thats going to be inconvienent. For both of you, really.


                                       

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:06 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stopped at "he smokes on his way home ..."

 well it is a long commute...*eyeroll*

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:09 PM
I think he's being selfish and immature. Time to re-evaluate your relationship
harehelper
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM

In my experience, if he won't "change" during the pregnancy then he won't after the baby comes either. She sounds actually very calm and reasonable. Especially since you accused her of craziness right after the "I occasionally smoked pot while pregnant" statement.

Quoting Anonymous:

He's not going to change until the baby is born. Takes a while for the guys to connect. That being said. I occasionally smoke pot while pregnant. I say give him some space. You sound like a crazy pregnant woman with raging hormones


besosfantasies
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:12 PM

 Who's to say he will change when the baby is born? He may never stop. & that's money that could be going towards the new baby.

Quoting Anonymous:

He's not going to change until the baby is born. Takes a while for the guys to connect. That being said. I occasionally smoke pot while pregnant. I say give him some space. You sound like a crazy pregnant woman with raging hormones

 

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