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He fathered another child...Update 2*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 67 Replies

I'm pretty sure my DH did.. how do I even go about asking him??? It's a LONG back story but to make it short.. about 5 years ago when I had my DS we were fighting all the time and just had issues all together and I caught him with this other girl.. well we figured everything out and fixed the situation and that was it.


this girl found me on facebook and said she wanted to be friends and blah blah blah yeah ok. well I was looking through her photos and her little girl looks just like my DS2... 


i honestly dont know what to do..?!?!!?

honest help please!!!



thank you everyone for your support.. to answer a few questions the only reason I accepted it was because it was the only way I could inbox her because her settings were private unless she was a friend. But I pretty much just told her that we have enough heart ache from the past and we dont need it again to just leave us be. After I sent it I browsed through her photos and seen the little girl and the first glance I thought omg does she look like my little boy. 

Another questions, no my husband has no idea! When all of this happened I got her version of the story and I got his and in his version he said he swears up and down he didnt do anything with her but she swears they did. HOWEVER, I strongly feel that they did even though he said no and I know he probably said no so he wouldnt hurt my feelings. obviously by lying to me it hurt worse. So I really dont know if they did or not.

It is something I would like to know and if she would be his he is the kind of person to step up and be a dad. we have three kids together and he is a wonderful father to all of them. 

I think again though deep down maybe I want to know and hope that she isn't because we finally had our little girl and the thought of her having a daughter to him and my last baby would have came out a boy I would be soo mad. I know it sounds childish but thats just how I felt. 


After we put the kids in their beds in a bit here I am going to ask him. Thank you all for your support. I will update after we talk!!

*forgot to add this before.. when her and my DH did this (then we were only dating) but she had a boyfriend at the time and was with him as well.. Since then she has gotten married and the baby has his last name. So if for some reason it was my DH could she get child support for her if she wanted to be a bitch about it since her Husband is on the babys certificate??



Thank you everyone for your support again.. After putting the kids into bed last night me adn DH layed on the couch and watched a movie and when it was over I told him I wanted to speak with him. He could tell something was bothering me because throughout the whole movie he kept asking what was wrong and I just said I'll talk to you in a little while because I was just so scared that if I opened that door with him that he would just think I was trying to bring up the past and that is not what I was trying to do.. 

anyway.. I told him what I thought and he asked me if I truly believed it or was just thinking it because of what happened or whatever and I told him no they look to much alike to think that she wasn't his. So he asked me to see a photo of her and I did. He really didn't make any facial expressions that made me believe he even slept with her. He then looked at me and just said that if she was his he would want to know and take care of her and he wouldn't care if he had to pay anything because he would have fathered another child but he said that he didn't. He still stands by his word and said that he didn't have sex with her. He admits to obviously kissing her and messing around in other ways but said they did NOT have sex. 

I don't know. Something just deep down stil doesn't feel right. I will gladly post a photo of our child and the other one and you can tell me from your point of view if you think they look alike at all*


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:56 PM
2 moms liked this

 Don't do anything?

km1970
by Platinum Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM

 be up front with him and tell him what you suspect.

AngelRT
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Show him the girls pic and watch his reaction and expressions!

bjsgrl
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I would probably have to ask. Both of them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
crescentstar2
by expecto patronum on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Ask her if her daughter is his

jessimicuh
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Ask her if he's the dad, lol..
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Idntreallycare
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM
2 moms liked this

I would just talk to him about it... it's amazing how many women on this site are afraid to communicate with the men they reproduce with.

Maybe something like "I know you were seeing ___ when we were having issues, we've moved past all of that. But are you the father of her child? It looks a lot like you" 

klespeedy0205
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM
What do you want to happen? Based on that depends on my advice.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ff-princess
by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this

accept her friend request, and then tag your husband in the picture you're referring to.

CuriousArentYa
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Just ask. I would. 

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