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13 year old dd snuck out tonight update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I KNOW I'm gonna get bashed to hell for this but I need some serious advice.

Let me start by saying, dd is NORMALLY very well behaved. She's not rude or disrespectful, can have a bit of an attitude at times but she's 13, a slight attitude at times is to be expected, no?

Very early this morning Dh wakes up to use the restroom and go check on the kids and make sure they are all covered up since its freezing tonight and when he peeks in dd room she's not there. He checked both bathrooms and she's not in either. He wakes me up and says P is not in the house. I jump out of bed and run all over the house and she's nowhere. All of a sudden Dh phone goes off, its some kid, we will call him T. He says sorry P I can't meet you all at the school my mom is still awake. So Dh CALLS T and finds out that dd and a few other friends were gonna meet at our neighborhood park and then one of there cousins who is FUCKING 17 is gonna take them driving around. **dd was using Dh phone because hers took a crap and won't turn on** well she had erased the texts and numbers from Dh phone so if this kid hadn't text we would have had no idea what was going on. Dh was able to get one of the other kids phone numbers from T that did meet up at the park and Dh called it and found out THEY WERE 15 FUCKING miles away!!!!!! Dh told them to stay right there and then called the cops and Dh and the cops went to where they were. Dh said all the kids (6 total) were detained and parents were being called, the 17 year old was put in cuffs and in the back of a cop car. Dd was released to Dh but we have to take her to the station at 11 to speak with an officer.

What in the FUCK was she thinking? Oh that's right SHE WASN'T! all and I mean ALL trust is gone.

I have no idea what to do with this. I never snuck out as a teen, she has never had any huge disciplinary problems, the most is she was grounded for not picking up her room. We have rules and consequences for not following the rules. We are told Alllll the time what good parents we are because we have structure and discipline and are our kids parents not friends.

I need advice, how do I punish this? What do I do to make her understand what a big deal this is? I'm at a complete loss.

Ok now go ahead and tell me what a compleat failure as a mother I am, can't make me feel worse than Ialready do.


Hey everyone. Just wanted to update. We went to the police station and the officer that Dh talked to took Dh, me and dd to a room to talk. He asked her questions about the 17 year old she and the others were with, apparently the reason he was arrested was for a warrent he had for his arrest for marijuana possestion. The officer also wanted to put the fear of God in to her, he has a teen dd as well and knew what we must be going through. He told her what very easily could have happened to her and her friends.

Dd is grounded, all privileges have been taken till further notice. Dh and I talked with her at length about how wrong she was and how she has lost our trust and how disappointed we are in her.

I think she gets it, she cried to us, and apologised to us both and SWORE it was the only time, although I'm not sure how much of that I believe at this point. Dh got the alarms on his way to work and will.install.them when he gets home tonight.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Replies (291-300):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:25 PM
For right now they are temporary ones that go on the doors and windows. We are going to research actual companies when he gets home tonight and have one installed. If she wants to try this shit again we certainly won't make it easy for her.

Quoting shagany:


Are you having house alarms put in, b/c of your daughter?


by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:44 PM

My mom actually just went through something similar with my 16 year old sister. She told Mom that she was staying all night at a friend's house,left the house and even texted Mom and told her that she'd arrived at her friend's house safely. Then Mom got a call from the cops. She and her friends had been in a car drinking outside a boy's house (over 20 miles from where she was supposed to be) and a neighbor had called the cops because of a noise complaint. The cops found my sister and her friends in the car and called my mom because my sister was drunk.
My mom had a fit and went berserk.My sister is now completely and totally grounded for the next three months.

"Live as if you have faith and faith will be given to you."

by Anonymous 66 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:49 PM

 She sneaked out. "Snuck" is not a word.

A 13 year old sneaking out? Sounds like you have a dysfunctional family.Time for some serious talks and some consistent discipline.

by Anonymous 67 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.

Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.

She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh good lord, we are no where near dysfunctional, and have very consistent discipline. But hey I guess I should feel lucky to receive such great parenting advice from the perfect mother.

Quoting Anonymous:

 She sneaked out. "Snuck" is not a word.

A 13 year old sneaking out? Sounds like you have a dysfunctional family.Time for some serious talks and some consistent discipline.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:22 PM

WOW!! teens will be teens lady. at least you caught her in time before she got in bigger trouble than what she did with yall. i honestly think you did the right thing. i would have done the same thing you did. u sound like a very good mother and it sounds like you got thru to her.

by Anonymous 68 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:26 PM

"little bitches" really?

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:38 PM

that's great! She needs to be taught a lesson she needs to really work hard to earn your and dh trust back! I really hope the cop got thru to her and what you and dh said to her! good luck hun

by Anonymous 69 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Lmao. She snuck out. Teens do that. Big whoop. Atleast she's not pregnant.
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:49 PM

I would have flipped. I know that this is one thing that scares the living crap out of me with my son. I know how his daddy and I were. I do not want a repeat.

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