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13 year old dd snuck out tonight update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I KNOW I'm gonna get bashed to hell for this but I need some serious advice.





Let me start by saying, dd is NORMALLY very well behaved. She's not rude or disrespectful, can have a bit of an attitude at times but she's 13, a slight attitude at times is to be expected, no?



Very early this morning Dh wakes up to use the restroom and go check on the kids and make sure they are all covered up since its freezing tonight and when he peeks in dd room she's not there. He checked both bathrooms and she's not in either. He wakes me up and says P is not in the house. I jump out of bed and run all over the house and she's nowhere. All of a sudden Dh phone goes off, its some kid, we will call him T. He says sorry P I can't meet you all at the school my mom is still awake. So Dh CALLS T and finds out that dd and a few other friends were gonna meet at our neighborhood park and then one of there cousins who is FUCKING 17 is gonna take them driving around. **dd was using Dh phone because hers took a crap and won't turn on** well she had erased the texts and numbers from Dh phone so if this kid hadn't text we would have had no idea what was going on. Dh was able to get one of the other kids phone numbers from T that did meet up at the park and Dh called it and found out THEY WERE 15 FUCKING miles away!!!!!! Dh told them to stay right there and then called the cops and Dh and the cops went to where they were. Dh said all the kids (6 total) were detained and parents were being called, the 17 year old was put in cuffs and in the back of a cop car. Dd was released to Dh but we have to take her to the station at 11 to speak with an officer.



What in the FUCK was she thinking? Oh that's right SHE WASN'T! all and I mean ALL trust is gone.



I have no idea what to do with this. I never snuck out as a teen, she has never had any huge disciplinary problems, the most is she was grounded for not picking up her room. We have rules and consequences for not following the rules. We are told Alllll the time what good parents we are because we have structure and discipline and are our kids parents not friends.



I need advice, how do I punish this? What do I do to make her understand what a big deal this is? I'm at a complete loss.





Ok now go ahead and tell me what a compleat failure as a mother I am, can't make me feel worse than Ialready do.


UPDATE

Hey everyone. Just wanted to update. We went to the police station and the officer that Dh talked to took Dh, me and dd to a room to talk. He asked her questions about the 17 year old she and the others were with, apparently the reason he was arrested was for a warrent he had for his arrest for marijuana possestion. The officer also wanted to put the fear of God in to her, he has a teen dd as well and knew what we must be going through. He told her what very easily could have happened to her and her friends.

Dd is grounded, all privileges have been taken till further notice. Dh and I talked with her at length about how wrong she was and how she has lost our trust and how disappointed we are in her.

I think she gets it, she cried to us, and apologised to us both and SWORE it was the only time, although I'm not sure how much of that I believe at this point. Dh got the alarms on his way to work and will.install.them when he gets home tonight.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Replies (311-320):
BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:21 AM

Don't fret momma...these are the moms with the worst kids...they just won't let anyone know about it...

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh good lord, we are no where near dysfunctional, and have very consistent discipline. But hey I guess I should feel lucky to receive such great parenting advice from the perfect mother.

Quoting Anonymous:

 She sneaked out. "Snuck" is not a word.


A 13 year old sneaking out? Sounds like you have a dysfunctional family.Time for some serious talks and some consistent discipline.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:51 AM

Strict parents create sneaky kids. Just saying. Your daughter probably won't sneak out again for months, but eventually she's going to figure out a way around those alarms and she's gone again. Trust me, my parents tried the same thing and more since my stepdad is a police officer.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:53 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

 She sneaked out. "Snuck" is not a word.

A 13 year old sneaking out? Sounds like you have a dysfunctional family.Time for some serious talks and some consistent discipline.

"Snuck" is actually a word dumbass lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:55 AM

Fucking nazi bitch. You think your daughter will listen?? NO, being that strict will make her more rebelious.

Quoting Anonymous:

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.

Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.

She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:55 AM
Ugh. I have a 11 year old and this makes me scared for the up coming years.
Sorry. :/
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:59 AM
So...the 13 year old just needs a slap on the hand and that's it? What do you suggest?

Quoting Anonymous:

Fucking nazi bitch. You think your daughter will listen?? NO, being that strict will make her more rebelious.

Quoting Anonymous:

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.


Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.


She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:00 AM

Communicating better and taking a child psychology course.

Quoting Devious333:

So...the 13 year old just needs a slap on the hand and that's it? What do you suggest?

Quoting Anonymous:

Fucking nazi bitch. You think your daughter will listen?? NO, being that strict will make her more rebelious.

Quoting Anonymous:

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.


Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.


She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:01 AM
1 mom liked this

When we were teens my sister was wild. Sneaking out, having sex, drinking, smoking, you name it! She got pregnant and not even that stopped her; she ended up having several miscarriages. Couple years went by and she finally gave birth and that slowed her down completely.

Point of this is the stories my sister tells me of the wild night she and her friends would have makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up! There are child predators out there and most of them are pimps looking to sweet talk some young girl into all types of nasty things. Usually the younger ones (10-14 years old) are the ones who fall so easily into that trap and get addicted to drugs.

My sister told me stories of being at house parties where people were shot up on nights when she should've been at home asleep ready to go to school in the morning. This is not the life your daughter should seek. I pray she is sorry for what's she's done, but remind her there is absolutely NOTHING out there after midnight that a 13 year old girl should be chasing after. Tell her about pimps who will prey on her and some will go as far as kidnapping a child then beating them mercilessly to turn the girl into a sex slave. Remind her of STD's and HIV. It's time for the sex talk if you already haven't had one and any 17 year hanging around young teens like that is always a bad sign. Good luck.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I KNOW I'm gonna get bashed to hell for this but I need some serious advice.





Let me start by saying, dd is NORMALLY very well behaved. She's not rude or disrespectful, can have a bit of an attitude at times but she's 13, a slight attitude at times is to be expected, no?



Very early this morning Dh wakes up to use the restroom and go check on the kids and make sure they are all covered up since its freezing tonight and when he peeks in dd room she's not there. He checked both bathrooms and she's not in either. He wakes me up and says P is not in the house. I jump out of bed and run all over the house and she's nowhere. All of a sudden Dh phone goes off, its some kid, we will call him T. He says sorry P I can't meet you all at the school my mom is still awake. So Dh CALLS T and finds out that dd and a few other friends were gonna meet at our neighborhood park and then one of there cousins who is FUCKING 17 is gonna take them driving around. **dd was using Dh phone because hers took a crap and won't turn on** well she had erased the texts and numbers from Dh phone so if this kid hadn't text we would have had no idea what was going on. Dh was able to get one of the other kids phone numbers from T that did meet up at the park and Dh called it and found out THEY WERE 15 FUCKING miles away!!!!!! Dh told them to stay right there and then called the cops and Dh and the cops went to where they were. Dh said all the kids (6 total) were detained and parents were being called, the 17 year old was put in cuffs and in the back of a cop car. Dd was released to Dh but we have to take her to the station at 11 to speak with an officer.



What in the FUCK was she thinking? Oh that's right SHE WASN'T! all and I mean ALL trust is gone.



I have no idea what to do with this. I never snuck out as a teen, she has never had any huge disciplinary problems, the most is she was grounded for not picking up her room. We have rules and consequences for not following the rules. We are told Alllll the time what good parents we are because we have structure and discipline and are our kids parents not friends.



I need advice, how do I punish this? What do I do to make her understand what a big deal this is? I'm at a complete loss.





Ok now go ahead and tell me what a compleat failure as a mother I am, can't make me feel worse than Ialready do.


UPDATE

Hey everyone. Just wanted to update. We went to the police station and the officer that Dh talked to took Dh, me and dd to a room to talk. He asked her questions about the 17 year old she and the others were with, apparently the reason he was arrested was for a warrent he had for his arrest for marijuana possestion. The officer also wanted to put the fear of God in to her, he has a teen dd as well and knew what we must be going through. He told her what very easily could have happened to her and her friends.

Dd is grounded, all privileges have been taken till further notice. Dh and I talked with her at length about how wrong she was and how she has lost our trust and how disappointed we are in her.

I think she gets it, she cried to us, and apologised to us both and SWORE it was the only time, although I'm not sure how much of that I believe at this point. Dh got the alarms on his way to work and will.install.them when he gets home tonight.

 

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:04 AM
Lol okay. Let us know how that works out for you!

Quoting Anonymous:

Communicating better and taking a child psychology course.

Quoting Devious333:

So...the 13 year old just needs a slap on the hand and that's it? What do you suggest?



Quoting Anonymous:

Fucking nazi bitch. You think your daughter will listen?? NO, being that strict will make her more rebelious.

Quoting Anonymous:

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.



Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.



She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:07 AM

*worked. 

Quoting Devious333:

Lol okay. Let us know how that works out for you!

Quoting Anonymous:

Communicating better and taking a child psychology course.

Quoting Devious333:

So...the 13 year old just needs a slap on the hand and that's it? What do you suggest?



Quoting Anonymous:

Fucking nazi bitch. You think your daughter will listen?? NO, being that strict will make her more rebelious.

Quoting Anonymous:

She would live in the dark ages for a month. Everything electronic would be taking. Tv, cellphone, games, toys, whatever she has that brings her enjoyment. I would go to a bookstore and find a book on teenagers and have her read out loud to me every evening.



Give her a task to do that she doesn't like, perhaps cleaning a room or bathroom. When it comes towards the end of her punishment I would give her a room to clean. I would hide a note in the room that says the punishment is over. If she cleaned properly she would find the note. If she doesn't she would stay on punishment until she did it correctly. Since the problem is her room I would hide the note in her room.



She needs to know how serious what she did was, I would not take this lightly because she is just 13 take it light and what the hell will she do at 16. I am normally not for being so stern but I am learning from my friends that have daughters that you have to be stern with love.




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