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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I am over reacting, and my pregnancy hormones are not helping :-(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

 

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So last night we went to Target, and DH kept trying to take the cart. I am the mommy, I am why we are at the store, I know exactly where what I am there to get is, apparently this bothers him. But first a little background:

I handle everything, and I am okay with that, I feel that generally most moms manage finances and household stuff. I have a meticulous plan and schedule for paying bills. I also handle all appointment scheduling and whatnot.

He comes home from work(6-7) and around bedtime (8-9) he gets on his computer with his buddies and plays games until 1 or 2. I can't fall asleep until he does because he will wake me and I will never get back to sleep, so around 1:30 or so I will ask if we can go to bed soon.

He generally doesn't wake up until 8:30-9 to go to work ( he just has to work 40 hrs/wk, the building is open and available 24/7)

He told me last night that he feels that if he wants a manager position he needs to practice being in charge and being manager like. I told him that I feel we are partners, there is no room for a manager over me. I kind of left it at that last night, because he only talks at bedtime, ( ya know 2am) and I was frankly mad and offended.

Then this morning he says " I don't mean I want to take over your life, I just want to take mine back" WTF does that mean? You sleep til 11 when you don't have work, you play video games constantly, yes I insist that you come with me if we are going somewhere as family when you are home. My father never did anything with us as a family, he stayed home, I never felt like he was part of the family, he was just the guy who took over the tv after 6pm, and occasionally drove us places. It is important to me that the kids feel like their father is part of the family.


I am 37 wks pregnant with #5, we are 27, he gave me no real explaination, and he refuses to say "love you" when we are fighting, which, frankly is when I need to be reminded of it most.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:16 AM

you two need to sit down and figure everything out, talk about your feelings and listen to his. Communication is very important.. 

La_Vie_en_R0se
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:24 AM

Hmm...sounds like he is feeling like he needs more say in his life.  I can see that you don't understand where he is coming from, so I think it is important for you two to sit and and figure out what he means, particularly when/why he feels that way.  It sounds like he may want a little more say and responsibility when it comes to household stuff.  I say, give it to him ;)

As far as the more "managerial" he needs to leave that shit at work...you two should be partners.  But it doesn't sound like you are right now...sounds like you rule the roost.  I am totally fine with that...it is how it is in my house, but my husband prefers it that way.  Now, if he took issue with it we would have to rework our arrangement. 

Just talk to him, I am sure you two can figure it out. 

scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:25 AM

It sounds like you are in charge of everything and he would like more of a say in things. Just talk it out. Were you really upset he wanted to push the cart?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:29 AM
It admittedly bothers me, but that is because he doesn't shop, he "hunts". I might see something as we are walking and say "ohhh look at this" and he just keeps walking because he "is on a mission"


Quoting scarletmeshell:

It sounds like you are in charge of everything and he would like more of a say in things. Just talk it out. Were you really upset he wanted to push the cart?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:32 AM

sounds just like my relationship. i tend to be too controlling and DH lets me have my way all the time to keep the peace. its a cart! let him push it if he wants to! let him make some decisions around your house too. he isnt trying to be your boss, he just doesnt want YOU to be the boss anymore. he wants to be partners--same as what you say you want.

eesmommy
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Your hormones have taken you over!!$ good Gawd woman! You need a chill pill and a giant box of chocolate!!!!!
dh pushes the cart and I lead ;-) I think secretly he wants this so he can watch my fabulous tushie :-) I make sure to bend over some and put an extra swing in thang! ;-) . Relax woman!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
But.... don't managers generally delegate work? Lol

Like having a secretary and such?
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