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caught my almost 16 year old having sex in her room*update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i ran up to the grocery store not even gone for an hour and when i get home? i see a car in the front, thinking it might just be someone from next door i didnt think anything of it, so i walked in the house and noticed shoes iv never seen before, i ran up stairs instantly and caught her and this older boy having sex. idk how old he was but he flew out of there like a bat out of hell. my dd ran into the bathroom and locked the door, and wouldnt come out for nearly an hour. never thought my dd would have sex this early, taught her everything she needed to know about protecting herself, and i never even knew she was seeing someone. when she came out of the bathroom she told me how long they have been together,and then told me she snuck to a clinic to get the depo shot and has been on it since her and the boy have started dating....she then told me his age...he's turning 18 in 2 months.

ugh i dont know what to think or do right now, i took away her computer and phone but shes still going to see him at school, i know i cant tell her not to see himcan anyone help me?

edit:dd said she wanted to talk when everything is calmed down, im going to go up there in a few minutes...idk what to ever say to her

update:we finished talking, she said she was sorry and that she deserves her phone and computer being taken away. i told her we're going to our hospital on saturday and then again in a month to get her tested and to get her on a different birth control, and that she has tell him to come here on sunday for dinner. i told her id give her,her things back after the hospital visit and that he was only able to come here when im home, and she has to come straight hom from school every single day

update again: the guy came back!!!! a few minutes after i posted the update someone knocked on the door and as i open it i realized it was the boy my dd had over, he was looking at the floor and said "im sorry i know we shouldnt have done anything in your house and i appologize, it was mostly my idea, but i never pressured her into it, i just brought it up while talking to her on fb last week. again im really sorry" i told him that i was taking her to her ob on saturday to get her tested and to put her on new birthcontrol, and then id be taking her back again in a month to get her tested again.

he just shook his head yes and says "i got tested once a year before i got with Pixie so if you still want to get her tested thats fine" i asked him what he meant he said this "before Pixie i went from girl to girl because my parents never cared what i did, then pixie came around and i tried impressing her until she finally said yes to me 7 months ago" i told him to come to dinner on sunday and we'll all talk together but right now i didnt want to even see him near my house, he shook his head yes again apologized and walked to his car. when i closed the door i saw my dd leaning over the banister with a terrified face lol i couldnt help but laugh honestly

DOH!!! forgot to add his name!!! his name is Alexander and his anime club nickname is Greaver, putting 2 and 2 together thats where he met my dd lol

oh and just to give you a visual of what this guy looks like. im 5 foot 9(dd is 5'7), i had to slightly look up at him to talk to him, he has black hair and dip dyed blue chunks, wears eye liner, skinny jeans,has an eye brow ring and lip ring, i could see the thin marks of a tattoo on his arm, and had scars on his wrist (which made me kind of sad) not saying any of that is bad what so ever just giving you all a visual

update: so took her to the OB yesterday, told the doc she had sex and i wanted her to be tested for std's and sti's, so they took blood work and the doc checked for chlamydia and gonorrhea.it must have hurt because dd got dizy i felt horrible for making her do it but i want to make sure shes safe. as we walked out of the ob's office and Alexander was sitting in the waiting room, told me he just wanted to make sure dd was alright and that he'd be over to the house early tomorrow (today now that im posting this) so i took dd home and she went to her room without a word, when i went to take her phone and computer back to her she was asleep. now alexander is here and its 10 AM,they are sitting in the living room watching movies on netflix. ill update again after we all talk

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (21-30):
alexakaym
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:05 PM

Ugh, sorry momma. That has to be so hard. It is good she is using protection  all though that in no way excuses her behavior, but yea, I would still do the test in case because as old school as this sounds the only thing that 100 precent prevents every std is not having sex.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting alexakaym:

It's stories like these that make me want to shove my DD back up into my womb. I'd say it sounds like you are doing all you can. I would take her in to get tested however and be firm with your punishment.

i found used condoms but ill still take her to get tested, im so flustered i cant focus on anything, she keeps coming to the top of the stairs and saying "im sorry mom, im sorry" and then walks back into her room


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I know you don't want your daughter to be having sex, but honestly...she's almost 16, it's not unheard of. Be proud she got on BC and was using condoms. You might want to tell her that.
Also, she's almost 16 and the guy is 17...is the age difference really a problem?
I know it makes you feel bad, but you might just have to accept it and continue to point her in the right direction. Good luck :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:06 PM


Quoting AubreeGrace17:

She's 16...not six. That's not early to start having sex, it's average. I would be wondering as a parent why she didn't want to come to me for birth control.  You must be pretty strict.

i really only require good grades and that i meet the boy shes dating thats about it, nothing to strict

navewife
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Also remind her that depo only protects agsinst pregnancy and not disease.
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bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Have her get tested and teach her the importance of safe sex. That is the best you can do.
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MrsRinehart2010
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM

 

Quoting stephiebugg:

 How old is she?
The only thing you CAN do is tell her to be safe. Depo doesn't prevent diseases. Herpes is forever. You know, all that good stuff.
If she's underage, you can threaten to call the cops on him. However, then they'll be sneaking around, which could be more problematic in the long run.

I have two daughters (little now) and I fear for that day!

 Honestly this^^ not much you really can do at this age when there is a will there is a way.... If she wants to have sex she will find a way ..

Steph1499
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM

She was smart to go get on birthcontrol and you need to make sure they use condoms.  You just need to talk to her and have an open line of communication.  If you force her to stop seeing him she will still see him anyways.  i dont think his age has anything to do with this because he is only a year or so older than her.  Talk to her.  Its alreadying happening, the sex, so talk protection, pregnancy, and anything else you can think of. 

alexakaym
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM

Oh, my DD does the shy, coy look away, look back, flutter the eyelashes already. It scares the crap out of me. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Mine is 15 months and already flirts with all the boys. She scares me.

Quoting alexakaym:

Mine is 16 months, and have another LO on the way .Hoping for a boy! Yea, she already has some smart ass in her so I am nervous lol.


Quoting Anonymous:

Tell me about it! My daughter is 1 and I am already worrying about the teenage years :/



Quoting alexakaym:

It's stories like these that make me want to shove my DD back up into my womb. I'd say it sounds like you are doing all you can. I would take her in to get tested however and be firm with your punishment.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM


Quoting MyDragonFlies11:

Ok so first put her on birth control unless u want grand babies... try not yo shame her into thinking u think she is a whore ... and make sure u tell her just because she has done it before doesnt mean she has to do it again

she put herself on the depo shot, she went to a clinic 6 months ago and just has to go for every appointment and she gets it for free

Momof3smoochies
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM
Show her some the stories on here about std's and teenage mothers.
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