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caught my almost 16 year old having sex in her room*update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i ran up to the grocery store not even gone for an hour and when i get home? i see a car in the front, thinking it might just be someone from next door i didnt think anything of it, so i walked in the house and noticed shoes iv never seen before, i ran up stairs instantly and caught her and this older boy having sex. idk how old he was but he flew out of there like a bat out of hell. my dd ran into the bathroom and locked the door, and wouldnt come out for nearly an hour. never thought my dd would have sex this early, taught her everything she needed to know about protecting herself, and i never even knew she was seeing someone. when she came out of the bathroom she told me how long they have been together,and then told me she snuck to a clinic to get the depo shot and has been on it since her and the boy have started dating....she then told me his age...he's turning 18 in 2 months.

ugh i dont know what to think or do right now, i took away her computer and phone but shes still going to see him at school, i know i cant tell her not to see himcan anyone help me?

edit:dd said she wanted to talk when everything is calmed down, im going to go up there in a few minutes...idk what to ever say to her

update:we finished talking, she said she was sorry and that she deserves her phone and computer being taken away. i told her we're going to our hospital on saturday and then again in a month to get her tested and to get her on a different birth control, and that she has tell him to come here on sunday for dinner. i told her id give her,her things back after the hospital visit and that he was only able to come here when im home, and she has to come straight hom from school every single day

update again: the guy came back!!!! a few minutes after i posted the update someone knocked on the door and as i open it i realized it was the boy my dd had over, he was looking at the floor and said "im sorry i know we shouldnt have done anything in your house and i appologize, it was mostly my idea, but i never pressured her into it, i just brought it up while talking to her on fb last week. again im really sorry" i told him that i was taking her to her ob on saturday to get her tested and to put her on new birthcontrol, and then id be taking her back again in a month to get her tested again.

he just shook his head yes and says "i got tested once a year before i got with Pixie so if you still want to get her tested thats fine" i asked him what he meant he said this "before Pixie i went from girl to girl because my parents never cared what i did, then pixie came around and i tried impressing her until she finally said yes to me 7 months ago" i told him to come to dinner on sunday and we'll all talk together but right now i didnt want to even see him near my house, he shook his head yes again apologized and walked to his car. when i closed the door i saw my dd leaning over the banister with a terrified face lol i couldnt help but laugh honestly

DOH!!! forgot to add his name!!! his name is Alexander and his anime club nickname is Greaver, putting 2 and 2 together thats where he met my dd lol

oh and just to give you a visual of what this guy looks like. im 5 foot 9(dd is 5'7), i had to slightly look up at him to talk to him, he has black hair and dip dyed blue chunks, wears eye liner, skinny jeans,has an eye brow ring and lip ring, i could see the thin marks of a tattoo on his arm, and had scars on his wrist (which made me kind of sad) not saying any of that is bad what so ever just giving you all a visual

update: so took her to the OB yesterday, told the doc she had sex and i wanted her to be tested for std's and sti's, so they took blood work and the doc checked for chlamydia and gonorrhea.it must have hurt because dd got dizy i felt horrible for making her do it but i want to make sure shes safe. as we walked out of the ob's office and Alexander was sitting in the waiting room, told me he just wanted to make sure dd was alright and that he'd be over to the house early tomorrow (today now that im posting this) so i took dd home and she went to her room without a word, when i went to take her phone and computer back to her she was asleep. now alexander is here and its 10 AM,they are sitting in the living room watching movies on netflix. ill update again after we all talk

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (31-40):
PISCIS29
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM
I have a dd that is five and I can't even IMAGINE going there yet not bc I can't but bc I won't. I'd probably b no help considering the fact that I'd probably kick the kid in the bards and damn near scream the ear off my dd. so here's a bump instead.
BUMP!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:09 PM

Sex happens. Make sure they are using condoms. They will sneak and find a way. Talk to her, don't punish her for having sex. Punish her for sneaking him in to your home when you were not there. I have a 14 year old and I know I will freak when that say comes!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:09 PM


Quoting jcm28:

So you think grounding her from her having a boyfriend will do what?

i never said i grounded her from him, i said i took her phone and computer away

fairyjester
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:10 PM
2 moms liked this

i am totally disgusted by how many so called parents think its okay for an almost 16 year old to have sex.

sorry mine would be grounded til she was 18

samanthastaatss
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Yikes. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 17 but even at that, I was the last out of all my friends. You would be surprised how early teenagers are having sex these days.. 

Destiny907
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:11 PM

You would  not be popular.. but.. are you married??? You can have you or your husband contact that young man- and you tell him- LOOK mister- when you are 18- this is STATUTORY RAPE you stay away from her.

You can be quite safe that he is not "in love" with your daughter- all these young kids are just enslaved to their hormones.. they all "think" it's love, mostly the girls do... we see that evidence all over- the girls really thought the boy "loved" them, they can't think right yet- they are teens!!!  And the boy just loves the sex....

My guess is if you scare him with Statutory rape charges, he will stop seeing her. She will be very angry at you, but you might save her from a teen pregnancy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

I woud ground her, nor for having sex, but for having sex and guests you did not know about in your home which is highly disresctful. Talk to your dd. Tell her about the consequences of her actions, ask about who this boy is and why she felt the need to sleep with him. I would also put her on some type of birth control. I know, I know, some people are going to say that is just giving her permission to have sex. My aunt and uncle said the same thing when they walked in on my 16 year old cousin having sex in her bedroom. About a year later, at 17, my cousin had a baby that my aunt and uncle had to help raise.

aponder
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

After you and her calm down the 1st thing you need to discuss is wether she was using protection, then discuss your house rules and respect for your house, unfortunatly the deed is done, and you've every right to punish her but keeping her away from him permantly might push her towards him.  I'd also have a discussion with his parents about it.  Good luck sweetie, I can say I'd do all this but when the time comes I'd feel lost too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

just make sure you talk to her... I know you are angry at the moment... but taking things away isn't going to solve anything... she needs you to talk with her and then be on board with making sure she is protected.... and if you want open communication with your daughter...anger is not the answer.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:13 PM


Quoting priceless3238:

Put her on birth control and open the lines of communication. That is about all you can do.

you do know what depo is right?

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