Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

caught my almost 16 year old having sex in her room*update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i ran up to the grocery store not even gone for an hour and when i get home? i see a car in the front, thinking it might just be someone from next door i didnt think anything of it, so i walked in the house and noticed shoes iv never seen before, i ran up stairs instantly and caught her and this older boy having sex. idk how old he was but he flew out of there like a bat out of hell. my dd ran into the bathroom and locked the door, and wouldnt come out for nearly an hour. never thought my dd would have sex this early, taught her everything she needed to know about protecting herself, and i never even knew she was seeing someone. when she came out of the bathroom she told me how long they have been together,and then told me she snuck to a clinic to get the depo shot and has been on it since her and the boy have started dating....she then told me his age...he's turning 18 in 2 months.

ugh i dont know what to think or do right now, i took away her computer and phone but shes still going to see him at school, i know i cant tell her not to see himcan anyone help me?

edit:dd said she wanted to talk when everything is calmed down, im going to go up there in a few minutes...idk what to ever say to her

update:we finished talking, she said she was sorry and that she deserves her phone and computer being taken away. i told her we're going to our hospital on saturday and then again in a month to get her tested and to get her on a different birth control, and that she has tell him to come here on sunday for dinner. i told her id give her,her things back after the hospital visit and that he was only able to come here when im home, and she has to come straight hom from school every single day

update again: the guy came back!!!! a few minutes after i posted the update someone knocked on the door and as i open it i realized it was the boy my dd had over, he was looking at the floor and said "im sorry i know we shouldnt have done anything in your house and i appologize, it was mostly my idea, but i never pressured her into it, i just brought it up while talking to her on fb last week. again im really sorry" i told him that i was taking her to her ob on saturday to get her tested and to put her on new birthcontrol, and then id be taking her back again in a month to get her tested again.

he just shook his head yes and says "i got tested once a year before i got with Pixie so if you still want to get her tested thats fine" i asked him what he meant he said this "before Pixie i went from girl to girl because my parents never cared what i did, then pixie came around and i tried impressing her until she finally said yes to me 7 months ago" i told him to come to dinner on sunday and we'll all talk together but right now i didnt want to even see him near my house, he shook his head yes again apologized and walked to his car. when i closed the door i saw my dd leaning over the banister with a terrified face lol i couldnt help but laugh honestly

DOH!!! forgot to add his name!!! his name is Alexander and his anime club nickname is Greaver, putting 2 and 2 together thats where he met my dd lol

oh and just to give you a visual of what this guy looks like. im 5 foot 9(dd is 5'7), i had to slightly look up at him to talk to him, he has black hair and dip dyed blue chunks, wears eye liner, skinny jeans,has an eye brow ring and lip ring, i could see the thin marks of a tattoo on his arm, and had scars on his wrist (which made me kind of sad) not saying any of that is bad what so ever just giving you all a visual

update: so took her to the OB yesterday, told the doc she had sex and i wanted her to be tested for std's and sti's, so they took blood work and the doc checked for chlamydia and must have hurt because dd got dizy i felt horrible for making her do it but i want to make sure shes safe. as we walked out of the ob's office and Alexander was sitting in the waiting room, told me he just wanted to make sure dd was alright and that he'd be over to the house early tomorrow (today now that im posting this) so i took dd home and she went to her room without a word, when i went to take her phone and computer back to her she was asleep. now alexander is here and its 10 AM,they are sitting in the living room watching movies on netflix. ill update again after we all talk

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Chrissy on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Dont punish her for being safe about it. Talk to her. That will be the best thing for your relationship.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not sure what you are trying to teach her by taking her Phone & Computer away.. punishing her for having Sex is not the answer- she sounds like she took responsibility by going to the Clinic & getting the shot- you should be proud of her for that.. if you don't want her to shut you out of everything that is going on in her life; i would back-up & regroup.. lots of luck-

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM

In almost every state it would not be considered statutory rape. So it might work or it might not 

Quoting Destiny907:

You would  not be popular.. but.. are you married??? You can have you or your husband contact that young man- and you tell him- LOOK mister- when you are 18- this is STATUTORY RAPE you stay away from her.

You can be quite safe that he is not "in love" with your daughter- all these young kids are just enslaved to their hormones.. they all "think" it's love, mostly the girls do... we see that evidence all over- the girls really thought the boy "loved" them, they can't think right yet- they are teens!!!  And the boy just loves the sex....

My guess is if you scare him with Statutory rape charges, he will stop seeing her. She will be very angry at you, but you might save her from a teen pregnancy.

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
Good for her! Sounds like you did a good job in teaching her and she has a head on her shoulders... I mean honestly she is gonna do it anyway if she has her heart set on this Guy. I mean I wouldn't let her think you think it is ok. But make sure she is doing it for the right reasons not just cause he wants her to.. don't do things that don't make you feel good about it .. I mean parents we get so caught up on never do it. Girls don't get these messages of you don't have to do it again... no you are not broken for life. If you want to stop its ok.. also you don't have to sleep with every Guy after this cause you are already ruined. All u really can do is make sure she has a head on her shoulders and respect for her self.. most kids are doing it by that age its sad but true

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting MyDragonFlies11:

Ok so first put her on birth control unless u want grand babies... try not yo shame her into thinking u think she is a whore ... and make sure u tell her just because she has done it before doesnt mean she has to do it again

she put herself on the depo shot, she went to a clinic 6 months ago and just has to go for every appointment and she gets it for free

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
Me too! And my dd is one also

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell me about it! My daughter is 1 and I am already worrying about the teenage years :/

Quoting alexakaym:

It's stories like these that make me want to shove my DD back up into my womb. I'd say it sounds like you are doing all you can. I would take her in to get tested however and be firm with your punishment.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Emerald Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM
2 moms liked this

Personally I think you seriously overreacted. I would be more upset that she didn't go to you and tell you she was dating someone and they were serious and that she wanted birth control. =(

Sounds like you need to work on your relationship with her and open up a line for communication without judgement before it's too late.

She is 16, of course she is having sex. It is perfectly natural and normal.

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM

I should have rephrased. Put her on better birth control than depo. Depo is horrible for the body. I wanted to say that originally but i guess i skipped it lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting priceless3238:

Put her on birth control and open the lines of communication. That is about all you can do.

you do know what depo is right?

by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM

all of you who said put her on bc did you not read the post right shes on birth control shes on depo. op im sorry but grounding her isnt going to help and at age  16 its vewry common for her to be having sex  be glad  she was smart and  got herself on bc unlike  you my  mom had to deal with me at  age 16 having a baby and she was strict  as well

by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Honestly its embaressing anf it sucks but at the end of the day, people have sex. Be happy she took precautions and make sureshe knows condomd are a must too. All you can do is give her all the info and hope she makea good choices but punishing her for that? I dont think thats right..all itll do is keep her distant from you amd cause her to lie to you..ironically my mom caught me at 16 first time actually I ever had sex. She was so embaressed and so was I but we talked about it snd I told her we werw safe and I loved him (which btw I still talk to him and dont regret anything) and she took me to get was inctedibly awkward but her being like that about it even though she was upset really helped us keep a open line of communication throughout my teenage years.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:17 PM
Oh wow! I can't imagne seeing that, I'd be in shock.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN