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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't think I want anything to do with the b**** ever again, I'm mad and hurt--it's a long'en

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:15 AM
  • 39 Replies

         From the time I was a kid, my mom has left me off and on. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months,sometimes for years. She usually didn't call or anything while she was gone, but if I got in touch with her somehow she'd make empty promises of coming home then ignore me for the remainder of the time she was gone. She left to go be with well-to-do men who could support her drug habit. She left me with an abusive alcoholic who she knew wasn't my dad (she isn't certain who my dad is). She'd eventually come back when they got tired of her. (She was going out of state btw) sometimes I'd go with her when she went out of state.

        When I was 11 is the first time I went with her when she was staying more than a week. While I was with her she'd have me help her find drugs,she'd have me carry them in case we got caught, she'd steal my money for them,etc. We ended up living out of a car, then the car got taken away as well so we were homeless with no food, no water,nowhere to go,etc.So she called the abusive alcoholic I mentioned early (her husband at the time) and we went back to him. I was 12 when we back to him. During this year a lot happened. I attempted suicide for one. I was in the hospital a month and she only came to see me to tell that I was so worthless I couldn't even kill myself correctly. The 2nd big event of my life as a 12 year old was being raped several times by my uncle. It only went on for a month and then I told on him. He went and hid several states away, refused a lie detector,etc but yet my family called me a lying whore saying he was too nice. They said that if he was going to rape someone he would rape my cousin (who was living with them at the time) not me because she was older and prettier. I was severely depressed, I was doing drugs, etc.

          Close to my 13th birthday my mom left for good. She never called, never wrote, left while I was at school so didn't say bye, anything. It was like she just disappeared. Fast forward to when I'm 15. I move out of the abusive alcohlic's home and into the home of my now husband. My mom connects to me via Facebook. She tells me she is sorry, but won't explain any of the questions I ask. I forgive her anyways. So we start talking. We don't talk alot, a phone call here and there, but eventually she convinces me to come visit her. So I do. Several times. Each time she has been high. Each time she has taken my money. But I ignored it. Eventually she tells me she is off drugs. She tells me she has a job. She ask to borrow money with promises of paying me back. I even bought her a car. But today is the final straw. 

             Today I get a phone call. She's in jail. She went to Wal-mart high and stole 800$ worth of stuff. She had drugs in her pocket and resisted arrest. She swung at an officer as well. I'm done. She always told me she loved me. She would take me to fun parties and we would get drunk together and bond. She would talk about how much she missed me. She would talk about how she would take so much back if she could. She wanted me to come live with her and move out of my husband's home because she says it isn't the life someone of my age should have. She told me that she didn't want to miss out on anymore of my life. I feel like she lied about all of that. If it were true then WHY would she do this and risk 20 years in jail (she has a lot of previous felonies as well). Why would she choose to leave me like this? Not only leave me, but leave me when she knows my best friend just died a couple of months ago. I'm mad, I'm hurt, and I'm thinking it is time to give up on her. 

Vent over. Any advice? 

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
marihla
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't keep that negativity in my life. I have abandonment issues from my mother, this time she moved to Thailand two Weeks after my daughter was born (her first grandchild). She told me she's never coming back. Fine. Don't expect to come in and out of my daughter's life.
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notgivinguphope
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:22 AM

wow, im really sorry to hear how you have been treated as a child as well as now as an adult, the only light in your story was when you moved out and found your now dh. quite honestly as much as i hate to say this i feel you should let your mom go, or at least go of the hope that someday the two of you wil have that mother and daughter relationship you always longed for. it not you and it not your mom its the drugs that prevented and still prevents that dream for the two of you, and until she gets help and gets clean will always be let down.. its sad it has to be this way but for your sanity and for the peace to remain in your home it must be done. Have you ever thought of doing an intervention as a final try? no matter what she is your mother but that doesnt make her your mom. if you get what i mean.. you didnt deserve to be treated that way and you owe it to yourself to not allow her t doit to you anymore. good luck with everything,

Paparazzi5bling
by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

let her go. shes made her choices.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:25 AM
Cut all ties with her
jessica1078
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:25 AM
I can only partially understand how youre feeling... a mother should never place a child in the situations you have been put through. please seek guidance from a therapist, otherwise the cycle of lies will continue. therapy can make you feel stronger. all my heart goes out to you. I think it's time to move past any hope for a relationship with her. big hugs
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Danapopcorn
by AbbyCat on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM

We have all (family and friends) tried to help her, she doesn't want it.  And Thankyou, I wish things were different. I feel like she is what (or atleast played a role, I can't blame it all on her) made a large part of me into who I am, in a bad way. I want to move on with my life, I've had depression since I was 10 and I can't shake it. I've talked to professionals, been on meds,etc. and now it is ruining my marriage. 

Quoting notgivinguphope:

wow, im really sorry to hear how you have been treated as a child as well as now as an adult, the only light in your story was when you moved out and found your now dh. quite honestly as much as i hate to say this i feel you should let your mom go, or at least go of the hope that someday the two of you wil have that mother and daughter relationship you always longed for. it not you and it not your mom its the drugs that prevented and still prevents that dream for the two of you, and until she gets help and gets clean will always be let down.. its sad it has to be this way but for your sanity and for the peace to remain in your home it must be done. Have you ever thought of doing an intervention as a final try? no matter what she is your mother but that doesnt make her your mom. if you get what i mean.. you didnt deserve to be treated that way and you owe it to yourself to not allow her t doit to you anymore. good luck with everything,


Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 Advice?  Walk away and never look back, toxic people should not share a place in your life!

I wish sometimes I could bottle my resolve and sell it to people like you that need it the most.  She will never be what you are looking for so just walk away and never, ever look back!

notgivinguphope
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:33 AM

i feel for you i really do, i have dealt with this before not from my family but from my dhs mother she was addicted to drugs and alchohol as well.. its probably one of the hardest things you will have to do which is cutt your mother out of your life... but look at it this way there has been a history of nothing but pain, betrayel disappoinment gloom and darkness in your life since you was a child.. but then a little bit of light comes in from someone else which is your dh, why give that up for the hurt you know? now i dont know how everything is in your marriage right now but i do know this, if your mother has been hurting you this way since you was a child its because there was one thing in her life that she couldnt let go of which is the drugs.. if she still hasnt let it go then sadly the hurt is still going to follow.. dont do it to yourself. its time to think about YOU. your family, your hubby and the life you began to piece back together. and sometimes we dont need professional help or meds to "fix" our problems , you know what the problem is all you have to do is come to grips that letting her go is all the fix you need. pm any time you want to talk k

Quoting Danapopcorn:

We have all (family and friends) tried to help her, she doesn't want it.  And Thankyou, I wish things were different. I feel like she is what (or atleast played a role, I can't blame it all on her) made a large part of me into who I am, in a bad way. I want to move on with my life, I've had depression since I was 10 and I can't shake it. I've talked to professionals, been on meds,etc. and now it is ruining my marriage. 

Quoting notgivinguphope:

wow, im really sorry to hear how you have been treated as a child as well as now as an adult, the only light in your story was when you moved out and found your now dh. quite honestly as much as i hate to say this i feel you should let your mom go, or at least go of the hope that someday the two of you wil have that mother and daughter relationship you always longed for. it not you and it not your mom its the drugs that prevented and still prevents that dream for the two of you, and until she gets help and gets clean will always be let down.. its sad it has to be this way but for your sanity and for the peace to remain in your home it must be done. Have you ever thought of doing an intervention as a final try? no matter what she is your mother but that doesnt make her your mom. if you get what i mean.. you didnt deserve to be treated that way and you owe it to yourself to not allow her t doit to you anymore. good luck with everything,



ERMAGERRD
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:36 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

Cut all ties with her

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jadsmummy
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:40 AM
Get therapy so you can let all the hurt go and learn how to let her go as well. She hurts you emotionally and you don't deserve that.
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