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I guess my boyfriend doesnt want to know..UPDATE!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

About all the guys that hit on me. Im a waitress in a bar/resturant and i was telling my bf about how this guy was sooo disappointed when he found out my age. I mean its funny because stuff like this happens all the time to me so my manager was just cracking up. The funny thing is when i was pregnant he would tell me stories like this all the time

 

He texted saying he cant be with me if i think its ok that other guys hit on me....as if i can control what other people do...is it just me or is he being a little bitch?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 3:01 AM
Replies (51-60):
heartnhidin
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 4:04 PM
This exactly. You need to learn how to keep some things to yourself. You would get all bent out of shape if the tables were turned.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's you. Okay, so guys hit on you all the time, that doesn't mean that you have to tell your boyfriend about it. No man wants to hear that. And you telling him, makes him think that you like it or that you're bragging about it. Duh...
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spicy_n_sweet
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 4:07 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting spicy_n_sweet:


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting spicy_n_sweet:

You are correct.  You have no control over other people's actions.

However, you have full control over your own. Telling him constantly about the men who hit on you at work just to get a reaction/rise out of him and/or to play tit for tat because he used to do that to you is immature and a sure fire way to poison a relationship.   It's a pointless action done for a pointless reason.   Really be honest with yourself as to why you share what you share with him and what you are trying to get out of it. You may find that your reasons really aren't worth it or meaningful at all and you are just causing issues where there need not be any.


I think its because I feel he doesnt appreciate me as much as he should so I want him to realize other men find me attractive because he doesnt tell me i am enough imo..

Those aren't actions that will earn appreciation or encourage it to be shown.   Other men finding you attractive isn't going to make him change how he treats you, and you rubbing it in his face to try and illicit that change can/and will do nothing but cause problems.

If you are not getting the type of interaction, the type of treatment, etc that you feel you want, need and deserve from him, trying to receive it from positive means is the best course of actions. Negativity breeds negativity. Pettiness breeds pettiness.    Now I'm sure you are saying to yourself "I've tried, I've tried talking to him, I've told him how I feel....etc".  However, have you truly communicate those things in an open, honest and constructive manner that he truly comprehends. Not him just saying "yeah yeah I know I'll change", but in a manner in which he truly and fully comprehends the issues, why they are issues, how they make you feel and how you can work together to make it better?  Playing tit for tat isn't going to make anything better. That's working against one another and not working together. To accomplish anything in a relationship that is positive, that type of patter/behavior/reaction has to change.

yeah i have told him. Iv said i feel unappreciated he says "i appreciate you" iv said you dont compliment me often enough and he says he does...whenever the rare occasion he compliments me all he says is you look good...idk maybe im asking for too much but i feel i need to be happy and hes not giving that to me. Thats why i love my job so much because i get the attention there that I dont get when im with him...its pathetic really :/

Sounds more like miscommunication than him not appreciating you. Every single person shows their appreciation their own way, every single person feels/receives appreciation in their own way.  One thing that happens in lots of relationships is a miscommunication in this area. One displays in their way, but their way of feeling/displaying is different than their partners and vice a versa. One is showing their affection in their way, the other isn't feeling it because they feel/view/give/receive affection differently.  When this happens, one feels they aren't getting what they need, the other feels like they are giving but it isn't enough or appreciated.  When in reality all both want is to give/feel/receive appreciation from the other.  Understanding and know how each other shares/feels/displays/gives/receives affection (respect, romance, etc.) is extremely important when it comes to having a mutually happy and healthy relationship.  

Getting the attention from an outside source...though it feels good at the moment. Usually ends up having negative affects  on a relationship. Whether we want it to or not.  You are filling a need from others outside your relationship.  Regardless of what that need is.. Imagine for a moment your partner getting his needs filled from others instead of you.  It's not a good way to handle a relationship.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I was going to say you are a dick until I read he used to that to you while pregnant. Yeah, it's on then! Don't dish it if you can't take it. 

Nicky2911
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 4:13 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Nicky2911:

I can seem him saying that he doesn't think you should be telling him about every little guy that hits on you but it is silly if he wants you to feel stressed/upset every time a guy expresses an interest in you... especially in your line of work where you are exposed to many people all day and are always trying to be nice.


i dont tell him every time it happens..i only tell him when its a funny story but whatever ig i just wont talk about it anymore.

I can understand him feeling uncomfortable about it but he can't just blame you... it could be making you feel very uncomfortable too....

SlightlyPerfect
by Babushka Blockparty on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:03 AM

Well said.

Quoting Anonymous:

So you wouldn't get annoyed if he came home daily talking about every woman who laid eyes on him?

I'm sure it boosts your little ego, but there's some things you should keep to yourself...especially if you want your boyfriend to still stroke it (your ego that is).


slightlyperfect

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:27 PM

Double standard.

What an asshole

mommieofII
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:57 AM

I get this... I am also a waitress at bar/resturant and my bf always says things to me about... Last weekend I had a guy come in who knew my bfs brother and still hit on me even went as far as touching me so of course I told the bf who then came to the bar which is just 2 mins from my house... They got into it and then the guy got kicked out...SO needless to say its not  good place for an attractive woman to work... I will only be working there for another couple weeks, this is my 2nd job just to save up for a new car and Im there now....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Jan. 7, 2013 at 8:01 AM
You're both being a "little bitch". You're bragging about it and rubbing it in his face, and he's clearly insecure in your relationship.


Quoting Anonymous:

About all the guys that hit on me. Im a waitress in a bar/resturant and i was telling my bf about how this guy was sooo disappointed when he found out my age. I mean its funny because stuff like this happens all the time to me so my manager was just cracking up. The funny thing is when i was pregnant he would tell me stories like this all the time


 


He texted saying he cant be with me if i think its ok that other guys hit on me....as if i can control what other people do...is it just me or is he being a little bitch?


Fistandantalus
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:20 AM

He's being a little bitch.

cjsbmom
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

You both sound a bit immature, quite frankly.

First of all, you can't control whether someone hits on you an for him to expect that is being childish. Second of all, you don't have to tell your boyfriend about it, either. That's being childish on your part. Men really don't want to know that we're getting hit on that often. I have been married 10 years and I still get hit on left and right. But I see no need to tell my DH about it. If you really have to tell someone, tell your friends.

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