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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is it wrong of me to get mad at him for eating in front of the kids?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Here's the situation:

Ex is coming over to visit the kids today. He asks if the kids have eaten lunch yet. I say no because I haven't much to eat here since I haven't been to the store yet. (plus they got up at noon & ate breakfast then) So he says when he gets here I can go to the store. I said I wasn't prepared to go just yet but I did plan on it. He then tells me he will wait til I get back from the store to go get himself something to eat. I get mad & said "that's real nice just eat in front of them!" & hung up.

My problem is he knows I can't afford to get fast food whenever but yet he flaunts it in front of the kids every time he is over. I don't understand why he can't eat before he comes over to see them! Am I wrong for wanting him to eat before he gets here? This way they aren't begging him for food or me to go get them fast food!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Replies (21-30):
jillbailey26
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM


Quoting tossed:


Quoting jillbailey26:

If he's going to eat at your house, he should at least bring something for them too.  If anything, you can give him the cash for bringing it to them.

She said she can't afford it.

And I said "If anything..."


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

Liyoness
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM
2 moms liked this

You knew he was coming over - why didn't they clean up last night?

I really, really want to sympathize with you, but I get the impression that you are being lazy yourself and then passing it off as a problem with the ex.

Quoting Anonymous:

Unfortunately he stays here to visit. He lives with his mommy & her place isn't big enough for everyone to visit. So I am being "nice" & letting him come over here. But right now things are being neglected that I told the kids to do before he came over. It's like once he gets here anything I say is worthless. I told the kids to clean the rec room & they are all out there playing video games now that he is here!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not sure hanging up on him was the answer. I know it is hard sometime to avoid getting so angry that you hang up. I think you need to calmly talk to him and explain that fast food is a treat and like a lot of kids, yours really like what ever it is that he buys and that you can't afford it. Tell him that when he eats in front of them, they get upset because they want it, so...if he is going to eat fast food around the kids, he has to provide it for all of them. If he is not prepared to do that, he has to eat before he sees them and not mention it to them. Now, if he wanted to contribute to hot dogs or whatever you guys like, you will pick them up at the store and he can eat with the family when you get back. 

PinkyPan
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:24 PM
2 moms liked this

Your being "nice" does not sound like it is working out so well for you. Why can he not leave with the kids for a least a few hours? He has it made between you and his mommy. The two of you have to quit making it so easy for him.

Quoting Anonymous:

Unfortunately he stays here to visit. He lives with his mommy & her place isn't big enough for everyone to visit. So I am being "nice" & letting him come over here. But right now things are being neglected that I told the kids to do before he came over. It's like once he gets here anything I say is worthless. I told the kids to clean the rec room & they are all out there playing video games now that he is here!

Quoting PinkyPan:

Have him pick up enough food for everyone or he can eat before he arrives. Does he stay at your place for the visit or does he take them and leave?



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:25 PM

I bought stuff last night for breaksfast thinking he was going to be over sooner than he got here (I should have known better because he is never on time) & planned on going hardciare shopping when he got here. Again I thought he would be here around noon... not 2 hours later. And it's a big deal because he does it all the time when I have asked him not to before. He is constantly bringing food over & then the kids are upset because I won't get them fast food.

Quoting Anonymous:

How did they eat breakfast if you don't have anything in the house? Also, if they already ate breakfast, what's the big deal? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Are ppl not reading my post? I said I didn't have anything in the house to feed them at this time PLUS they just woke up 2 hours ago & ate breakfast then!

Quoting 1stpreggers:

Or you could just feed them before he gets there.




tossed
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:27 PM


Quoting jillbailey26:


Quoting tossed:


Quoting jillbailey26:

If he's going to eat at your house, he should at least bring something for them too.  If anything, you can give him the cash for bringing it to them.

She said she can't afford it.

And I said "If anything..."

She made it clear that she cannot afford fast food, so your "If anything...." does not apply. He is the dad, why can't he buy for his kids if he plans on eating in front of them?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Because, like me, he can not afford fast food for everyone. Which is the point- if you can't afford it for everyone then don't be bringing it to my house & eating in front of them! Sure he offered to wait til I went to the store but he is still going to end up leaving the house to go get food & that is time he could be spending with the kids!

Quoting littlesippycup:

Ugh, why doesn't he bring them anything?


jillbailey26
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:31 PM


Quoting tossed:


Quoting jillbailey26:


Quoting tossed:


Quoting jillbailey26:

If he's going to eat at your house, he should at least bring something for them too.  If anything, you can give him the cash for bringing it to them.

She said she can't afford it.

And I said "If anything..."

She made it clear that she cannot afford fast food, so your "If anything...." does not apply. He is the dad, why can't he buy for his kids if he plans on eating in front of them?

I'm not going to argue about what I said.  I still stand by it.  If anything means, if at all.  

If you read my first sentence, I did say that he should bring something for them too.  Why am I having to repeat what I say?  Was the first time I said it not good enough?


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:32 PM

Ugh again. I'm sorry girl. Tell him he isn't allowed to eat that at your house =( He should know that anyways. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Because, like me, he can not afford fast food for everyone. Which is the point- if you can't afford it for everyone then don't be bringing it to my house & eating in front of them! Sure he offered to wait til I went to the store but he is still going to end up leaving the house to go get food & that is time he could be spending with the kids!

Quoting littlesippycup:

Ugh, why doesn't he bring them anything?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:32 PM
I don't see the problem. Why can't he just get food when you get back like he said? Do you just not want him to eat lunch or what?
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