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Dh wants to go to a movie tomorrow

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We both want to see The Hobbit, we haven't been on a date together since May of last year, but I don't like leaving dd (or even ds, really) at dh's parents house. Dd is 9 months, is crawling and will find stuff to put in her mouth. Their house isn't child proof, they don't have a gate for their stairs, she can get into the kitchen and pick stuff off the floor (they don't sweep often), and when we were over there a couple weeks ago, their little dog growled and snapped at dd over food on the floor (he's not a kid dog and even growls at ds), scratched/bruised her face. So when we were over there on New Years Eve, I didn't get to hang out and talk to adults...I was stuck making sure dd didn't get bit by the dog or pick something off the floor because my nieces are pigs and leave food and stuff all over the place. Dh and everyone was playing a board game and, as usual, I didn't get to participate...I tried but I kept having to stop dd from going into the kitchen or from going near the dog.

Anyway. I told dh I wanted his mom to come over here, mostly because of dd, but ds is allergic to something in their house. Everytime he goes over there his eyes get red and puffy, he sneezes, coughs, etc. He has allergies anyway but he's never like that at home. We go over to their house for holidays and when we eat dinner with them. They rarely come to our house.

MIL won't put her dog in her room while dd is there because her dog retaliates by shitting or pissing somewhere. I don't go anywhere or do anything unless dh is at home with the kids or we all go together...and hiring a babysitter isn't an option because I don't know anyone here and I don't like people who aren't family watching my kids. MIL told dh today that she would like it if the kids went to their house tomorrow so she could do laundry...so idk if she'll come over to watch them. I told dh just to go the movie with his dad or something. I could tell he was kind of frustrated when I said that but I don't want dd getting hurt.

How would you feel about this? And I don't think I'm overreacting...I don't like the idea of my 9 month old choking, falling down stairs or being mauled by a dog, knowing these possibilities, would you feel the same?

Eta: Lol some of you think I'm making up excuses, yet a lot of women on here are SAHMs because they don't trust daycares or anyone to watch their kids. How am I any different than you?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Replies (11-20):
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)

Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:01 PM
care.com does background checks. start finding potential babysitters and interviewing them. it may not be by tomorrow but you need to find a way to spend time with dh without the kids.
you can't change your mil. if you don't trust her start looking for someone you can trust. they aren't going to just show up one day you have to put the work in.


Quoting Devious333:

Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)



Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:04 PM
I'd rather meet someone at work that I can trust. Part of being a parent is taking care of your kids. I'm content with just staying home. If our marriage goes to shit over us not having time to ourselves then it wasn't a good marriage anyway. When dd is older we'll go out.

Quoting Anonymous:

care.com does background checks. start finding potential babysitters and interviewing them. it may not be by tomorrow but you need to find a way to spend time with dh without the kids.

you can't change your mil. if you don't trust her start looking for someone you can trust. they aren't going to just show up one day you have to put the work in.




Quoting Devious333:

Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)





Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:06 PM

 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:07 PM
Doesn't matter. I am particular about where my kids are at, who is with them, etc. for a good reason.

Quoting DanaG70:

 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:10 PM

 Actually it does matter, but hey, it's your marriage.

Quoting Devious333:

Doesn't matter. I am particular about where my kids are at, who is with them, etc. for a good reason.

Quoting DanaG70:

 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......

 

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:10 PM
So you would be completely okay with a dog growling and attacking your infant?

Quoting DanaG70:

 Actually it does matter, but hey, it's your marriage.


Quoting Devious333:

Doesn't matter. I am particular about where my kids are at, who is with them, etc. for a good reason.


Quoting DanaG70:


 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:12 PM

 That's exactly what I said.... You could talk to your MIL, you know, let her know your concerns. Rather than just tell your husband you don't want to go out with him because of what happened in the past. Communication is a great thing.

Quoting Devious333:

So you would be completely okay with a dog growling and attacking your infant?

Quoting DanaG70:

 Actually it does matter, but hey, it's your marriage.


Quoting Devious333:

Doesn't matter. I am particular about where my kids are at, who is with them, etc. for a good reason.


Quoting DanaG70:


 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......


 

 

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Her dog is her baby and she has witnessed the little shit attack kids before. She obviously doesn't care much. I told dh about it, he can talk to his mom about it.
Quoting DanaG70:

 That's exactly what I said.... You could talk to your MIL, you know, let her know your concerns. Rather than just tell your husband you don't want to go out with him because of what happened in the past. Communication is a great thing.


Quoting Devious333:

So you would be completely okay with a dog growling and attacking your infant?


Quoting DanaG70:


 Actually it does matter, but hey, it's your marriage.



Quoting Devious333:

Doesn't matter. I am particular about where my kids are at, who is with them, etc. for a good reason.



Quoting DanaG70:



 I wonder how it is your husband made it to adulthood.......



 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bleedhairspray
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:17 PM
1 mom liked this

have you thought that maybe your ds is allergic to her dog?? 

Tell her if she wants to do laundry, and it's that important that is has to get done that night exactly, then she can bring it over to your house and do it there. Just tell her that the kids will be more behaved and easier to care for in their own home and that it's a safe environment for them.

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