Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dh wants to go to a movie tomorrow

Posted by   + Show Post
We both want to see The Hobbit, we haven't been on a date together since May of last year, but I don't like leaving dd (or even ds, really) at dh's parents house. Dd is 9 months, is crawling and will find stuff to put in her mouth. Their house isn't child proof, they don't have a gate for their stairs, she can get into the kitchen and pick stuff off the floor (they don't sweep often), and when we were over there a couple weeks ago, their little dog growled and snapped at dd over food on the floor (he's not a kid dog and even growls at ds), scratched/bruised her face. So when we were over there on New Years Eve, I didn't get to hang out and talk to adults...I was stuck making sure dd didn't get bit by the dog or pick something off the floor because my nieces are pigs and leave food and stuff all over the place. Dh and everyone was playing a board game and, as usual, I didn't get to participate...I tried but I kept having to stop dd from going into the kitchen or from going near the dog.

Anyway. I told dh I wanted his mom to come over here, mostly because of dd, but ds is allergic to something in their house. Everytime he goes over there his eyes get red and puffy, he sneezes, coughs, etc. He has allergies anyway but he's never like that at home. We go over to their house for holidays and when we eat dinner with them. They rarely come to our house.

MIL won't put her dog in her room while dd is there because her dog retaliates by shitting or pissing somewhere. I don't go anywhere or do anything unless dh is at home with the kids or we all go together...and hiring a babysitter isn't an option because I don't know anyone here and I don't like people who aren't family watching my kids. MIL told dh today that she would like it if the kids went to their house tomorrow so she could do laundry...so idk if she'll come over to watch them. I told dh just to go the movie with his dad or something. I could tell he was kind of frustrated when I said that but I don't want dd getting hurt.

How would you feel about this? And I don't think I'm overreacting...I don't like the idea of my 9 month old choking, falling down stairs or being mauled by a dog, knowing these possibilities, would you feel the same?

Eta: Lol some of you think I'm making up excuses, yet a lot of women on here are SAHMs because they don't trust daycares or anyone to watch their kids. How am I any different than you?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Replies (41-50):
Bknotnobody
by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:39 PM
We do have a child.
I just seem to think putting sometime aside for my marriage is just as important if not somewhat more.
Hopefully when my husband and I made our vows he will still be here after our son is grown up and out of the house.

If so I don't want to be living with a stranger then.

I am aware not everyone agrees.

But putting your child/ren before your marriage all the time in my opinion and I don't think I'm alone. Can hurt it.

One night a month isn't too much to ask for.

Work kids all of that is an excuse. To an extent.
Find a sitter or explain to mil why you want her at your house.


Quoting Devious333:

I guess I don't see how I'm hurting my marriage...when you have kids, this shit is to be expected. If you go into a marriage thinking it's all rainbows and butterflies, you've got the wrong idea. He's lucky I even said "maybe" since I work tonight, overnight, and will be tired tomorrow. If he can't stand by how I feel about our kids, which he does, then he isn't worth it.



Quoting Bknotnobody:

This.





I think you're overreacting. Tell mil your washer works just fine.





Either way you're hurting your marriage.





Suck it up buttercup and find a sitter!






Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
periwinkle163
by Silver Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:39 PM

 Look here's the deal, if you trust his mother to watch the kids it really shouldn't matter where she is watching them. I get how hard it is to let go, I really do, but I think you are being slightly paranoid, do you really think your mil would just let her wander around doing whatever she wants? If that is even remotely a possibility she shouldn't be watching them at all.

wilesmomma
by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:40 PM
I'd feel the same
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:41 PM

why not hire a babysitter?

thatgirl70
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:42 PM

I don't blame you.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:43 PM

Can you go over and kid proof for them? Bring a gate and run the sweeper really quick?

Mommyof2n0308
by Marissa on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:43 PM
I'd feel the same. I never left ds until he was two. Now I get to go out almost every weekend because grandma loves having then
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:44 PM
If you're not used to an infant in the house, yes, I think all that I listed is highly possible. It does matter where they are. Their house isn't child proof and their dog is aggressive toward children. I felt the same way about dh's parents watching ds when he was a baby.

Quoting periwinkle163:

 Look here's the deal, if you trust his mother to watch the kids it really shouldn't matter where she is watching them. I get how hard it is to let go, I really do, but I think you are being slightly paranoid, do you really think your mil would just let her wander around doing whatever she wants? If that is even remotely a possibility she shouldn't be watching them at all.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:47 PM
Their house is so cluttered...and a gate won't work at the top of their stairs because of the way they put the wall in. There wasn't a wall there originally, it was a railing so a small kid could have easily fallen through it/under it, but I told them that I wouldn't leave ds in their care (he was about 2) until they made it so he couldn't fall down the stairs...the wall dh's dad built is too far back for a gate. Lol their house really is not child proof.

Quoting mem82:

Can you go over and kid proof for them? Bring a gate and run the sweeper really quick?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:50 PM

LOL Makes you wonder just a little bit how your hubby made it to adulthoold.

Quoting Devious333:

Their house is so cluttered...and a gate won't work at the top of their stairs because of the way they put the wall in. There wasn't a wall there, it was a railing so a small kid could have easily fallen through it/under it, but I told them that I wouldn't leave ds in their care until they made it so he couldn't fall down the stairs...the wall dh's dad built is too far back for a gate. Lol their house really is not child proof.

Quoting mem82:

Can you go over and kid proof for them? Bring a gate and run the sweeper really quick?


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)