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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dh wants to go to a movie tomorrow

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We both want to see The Hobbit, we haven't been on a date together since May of last year, but I don't like leaving dd (or even ds, really) at dh's parents house. Dd is 9 months, is crawling and will find stuff to put in her mouth. Their house isn't child proof, they don't have a gate for their stairs, she can get into the kitchen and pick stuff off the floor (they don't sweep often), and when we were over there a couple weeks ago, their little dog growled and snapped at dd over food on the floor (he's not a kid dog and even growls at ds), scratched/bruised her face. So when we were over there on New Years Eve, I didn't get to hang out and talk to adults...I was stuck making sure dd didn't get bit by the dog or pick something off the floor because my nieces are pigs and leave food and stuff all over the place. Dh and everyone was playing a board game and, as usual, I didn't get to participate...I tried but I kept having to stop dd from going into the kitchen or from going near the dog.

Anyway. I told dh I wanted his mom to come over here, mostly because of dd, but ds is allergic to something in their house. Everytime he goes over there his eyes get red and puffy, he sneezes, coughs, etc. He has allergies anyway but he's never like that at home. We go over to their house for holidays and when we eat dinner with them. They rarely come to our house.

MIL won't put her dog in her room while dd is there because her dog retaliates by shitting or pissing somewhere. I don't go anywhere or do anything unless dh is at home with the kids or we all go together...and hiring a babysitter isn't an option because I don't know anyone here and I don't like people who aren't family watching my kids. MIL told dh today that she would like it if the kids went to their house tomorrow so she could do laundry...so idk if she'll come over to watch them. I told dh just to go the movie with his dad or something. I could tell he was kind of frustrated when I said that but I don't want dd getting hurt.

How would you feel about this? And I don't think I'm overreacting...I don't like the idea of my 9 month old choking, falling down stairs or being mauled by a dog, knowing these possibilities, would you feel the same?

Eta: Lol some of you think I'm making up excuses, yet a lot of women on here are SAHMs because they don't trust daycares or anyone to watch their kids. How am I any different than you?
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Replies (51-60):
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol his parents are different now. His dad is obese, he wasn't when dh was a kid, he doesn't help clean the house, he is either working or sitting on his ass on the couch watching tv. Dh's mom is gone most of the time because of her business, dh's dad makes a lot of the messes and is a hoarder...there was no walking in their garage for years until this last summer when they finally had a garage sale.

Quoting mem82:

LOL Makes you wonder just a little bit how your hubby made it to adulthoold.

Quoting Devious333:

Their house is so cluttered...and a gate won't work at the top of their stairs because of the way they put the wall in. There wasn't a wall there, it was a railing so a small kid could have easily fallen through it/under it, but I told them that I wouldn't leave ds in their care until they made it so he couldn't fall down the stairs...the wall dh's dad built is too far back for a gate. Lol their house really is not child proof.



Quoting mem82:

Can you go over and kid proof for them? Bring a gate and run the sweeper really quick?


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Jenn820
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:01 PM

It sounds to me that you're going to find something wrong with any option. You don't trust your MIL to watch your kids, if you did, you'd know she'd keep them safe despite having a non baby-proofed house. (Good supervision is far better than baby proofing.) I think you have bigger issues going on than a babysitter/movie problem.

We have no family where we live...zero...so we've had to decide if friends or coworkers were trustworthy babysitters. We don't go out much because we don't want to take advantage of our friends, but we do occasionally. Every marriage needs time together, WITHOUT the kids. A healthy life does not solely revolve around your children. You need to take care of yourself to be of use to them, you need to take care of your marriage (because a marriage in trouble is anything but stable) and you need to take care of what your kids need (not always everything they want.) 

Good luck, I hope better options come around for you.

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:03 PM
When dd is older it will be different. We'll have plenty of time to go out.

Quoting Jenn820:

It sounds to me that you're going to find something wrong with any option. You don't trust your MIL to watch your kids, if you did, you'd know she'd keep them safe despite having a non baby-proofed house. (Good supervision is far better than baby proofing.) I think you have bigger issues going on than a babysitter/movie problem.

We have no family where we live...zero...so we've had to decide if friends or coworkers were trustworthy babysitters. We don't go out much because we don't want to take advantage of our friends, but we do occasionally. Every marriage needs time together, WITHOUT the kids. A healthy life does not solely revolve around your children. You need to take care of yourself to be of use to them, you need to take care of your marriage (because a marriage in trouble is anything but stable) and you need to take care of what your kids need (not always everything they want.) 

Good luck, I hope better options come around for you.

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thetrollcat
by Meow on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:03 PM

over seeing a MOVIE????

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:03 PM
3+ hours you mean? You do realize the mo e is 2.46 hours long + at least 15 minutes of previews, so you would be gone longer then 3 hours. By the way its a good movie, I think you would be ok to leave your dd alone with grandma for a few hours.


Quoting Devious333:

I don't know anyone where I live. It wouldn't be smart to put an ad in the paper and ask someone. I don't see why she can't come over for 3 hours. Their house isn't kid proof, like I said.



Quoting Anonymous:

No, I think you are overreacting. How bad do you want some alone time with your husband? You don't like your family option, yet you don't want to use someone who's not family....

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:04 PM
And it won't hurt her one bit to come over to my house.

Quoting Anonymous:

3+ hours you mean? You do realize the mo e is 2.46 hours long + at least 15 minutes of previews, so you would be gone longer then 3 hours. By the way its a good movie, I think you would be ok to leave your dd alone with grandma for a few hours.




Quoting Devious333:

I don't know anyone where I live. It wouldn't be smart to put an ad in the paper and ask someone. I don't see why she can't come over for 3 hours. Their house isn't kid proof, like I said.





Quoting Anonymous:

No, I think you are overreacting. How bad do you want some alone time with your husband? You don't like your family option, yet you don't want to use someone who's not family....

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Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Huh? No. Over my kids safety.

Quoting thetrollcat:

over seeing a MOVIE????

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littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:05 PM

Sorry I left to cook dinner. It's the YMCA, it's a place for families, pools, recreational activities. That sorta thing. They offer programs in the community. You could also try the Boys and Girls Club if you have one of those. When we move, I'm going to use one of these methods to find a sitter.

Quoting Devious333:

What's the Y? I live in a town of 11,000 people lol so there isn't much here.

Quoting littlesippycup:

I would contact your local HS guidance counselor and tell her to have some responsible teens interested in babysitting to give you a call. Someone on here said you can contact the Y also. All those teens have passed background checks. Just a better way than an ad in the newspaper.


thetrollcat
by Meow on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:05 PM

the title is about going to a movie then you write long ass book has nothing to do with going to the movie. Lame

Quoting Devious333:

Huh? No. Over my kids safety.

Quoting thetrollcat:

over seeing a MOVIE????


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LoveMyLos
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Ive used cl numerous times. Not for last minute things, but i have found two oncall sitters, and one turned into a good friend.

Quoting Devious333:

Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)



Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.
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