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Dh wants to go to a movie tomorrow

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We both want to see The Hobbit, we haven't been on a date together since May of last year, but I don't like leaving dd (or even ds, really) at dh's parents house. Dd is 9 months, is crawling and will find stuff to put in her mouth. Their house isn't child proof, they don't have a gate for their stairs, she can get into the kitchen and pick stuff off the floor (they don't sweep often), and when we were over there a couple weeks ago, their little dog growled and snapped at dd over food on the floor (he's not a kid dog and even growls at ds), scratched/bruised her face. So when we were over there on New Years Eve, I didn't get to hang out and talk to adults...I was stuck making sure dd didn't get bit by the dog or pick something off the floor because my nieces are pigs and leave food and stuff all over the place. Dh and everyone was playing a board game and, as usual, I didn't get to participate...I tried but I kept having to stop dd from going into the kitchen or from going near the dog.

Anyway. I told dh I wanted his mom to come over here, mostly because of dd, but ds is allergic to something in their house. Everytime he goes over there his eyes get red and puffy, he sneezes, coughs, etc. He has allergies anyway but he's never like that at home. We go over to their house for holidays and when we eat dinner with them. They rarely come to our house.

MIL won't put her dog in her room while dd is there because her dog retaliates by shitting or pissing somewhere. I don't go anywhere or do anything unless dh is at home with the kids or we all go together...and hiring a babysitter isn't an option because I don't know anyone here and I don't like people who aren't family watching my kids. MIL told dh today that she would like it if the kids went to their house tomorrow so she could do laundry...so idk if she'll come over to watch them. I told dh just to go the movie with his dad or something. I could tell he was kind of frustrated when I said that but I don't want dd getting hurt.

How would you feel about this? And I don't think I'm overreacting...I don't like the idea of my 9 month old choking, falling down stairs or being mauled by a dog, knowing these possibilities, would you feel the same?

Eta: Lol some of you think I'm making up excuses, yet a lot of women on here are SAHMs because they don't trust daycares or anyone to watch their kids. How am I any different than you?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Replies (81-87):
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:07 AM
When dd is older I will find a sitter. For now I'm not going to put my baby at risk.

Quoting Anonymous:

my town is small too but I'm an adult and capable of finding a sitter if I need one. no high school, no college, no y, no public pool, nothing! we have a population of 3,000. it's an excuse. if you wanted to find a sitter you could.




Quoting Devious333:

Omg...I'm not making excuses. I was JUST SAYING...my town is SMALL. Good grief. Have a good night.





Quoting LoveMyLos:

Well you just have an excuse for everything......why bother posting?







Quoting Devious333:

Lol this town is so small there isn't even a CL for it. The closest is a city 2 hours away.









Quoting LoveMyLos:

Ive used cl numerous times. Not for last minute things, but i have found two oncall sitters, and one turned into a good friend.











Quoting Devious333:

Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)













Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:09 AM
Yes, they have everything they need here. I don't like dragging toys everywhere and trying to figure out where they are going to sleep.

Quoting KairisMama:

 I don't blame you. I'd ask that she came to MY HOUSE too. Anytime my family does sit, they do COME HERE. It's easier on the kids. They have their home and toys. They can be put to bed AT HOME.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tharealty2
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:12 AM

You just have to decide then, is it worth the trouble?  If I had that many issues regarding who ever watching my kid, I would just stay home.  I'm not saying you don't have valid concerns, I'm just saying, essentially, beggars can't be choosy.

tharealty2
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:13 AM


Quoting Devious333:

Yes, they have everything they need here. I don't like dragging toys everywhere and trying to figure out where they are going to sleep.

Quoting KairisMama:

 I don't blame you. I'd ask that she came to MY HOUSE too. Anytime my family does sit, they do COME HERE. It's easier on the kids. They have their home and toys. They can be put to bed AT HOME.

I think many moms would prefer the sitter watch them in their own home (the lo's) thats understandable,. but then if there are addntl issues to go along with that and mil is getting offended, then you just have to decide whether your gonna just stay home,. or make some compromises.

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:13 AM
If dh's mom came to my house or if I knew someone I could trust to come over and watch them, it would be worth the trouble. I am going to be very choosy when it comes to my kids.

Quoting tharealty2:

You just have to decide then, is it worth the trouble?  If I had that many issues regarding who ever watching my kid, I would just stay home.  I'm not saying you don't have valid concerns, I'm just saying, essentially, beggars can't be choosy.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tharealty2
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:15 AM


Quoting Devious333:

When dd is older I will find a sitter. For now I'm not going to put my baby at risk.

Quoting Anonymous:

my town is small too but I'm an adult and capable of finding a sitter if I need one. no high school, no college, no y, no public pool, nothing! we have a population of 3,000. it's an excuse. if you wanted to find a sitter you could.




Quoting Devious333:

Omg...I'm not making excuses. I was JUST SAYING...my town is SMALL. Good grief. Have a good night.





Quoting LoveMyLos:

Well you just have an excuse for everything......why bother posting?







Quoting Devious333:

Lol this town is so small there isn't even a CL for it. The closest is a city 2 hours away.









Quoting LoveMyLos:

Ive used cl numerous times. Not for last minute things, but i have found two oncall sitters, and one turned into a good friend.











Quoting Devious333:

Sure, I'll put the ad on craigslist right away :)













Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to get to work to find a babysitter. relationships require dedication and work. you can't just tell dh no and expect to have a strong marriage.

I don't use random sitters either, never have.  Its either family or a close, trusted friend.

tharealty2
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 7:16 AM


Quoting Devious333:

If dh's mom came to my house or if I knew someone I could trust to come over and watch them, it would be worth the trouble. I am going to be very choosy when it comes to my kids.

Quoting tharealty2:

You just have to decide then, is it worth the trouble?  If I had that many issues regarding who ever watching my kid, I would just stay home.  I'm not saying you don't have valid concerns, I'm just saying, essentially, beggars can't be choosy.

I know but it sounds like she doesn't want to do that.  And it sounds like she wouldn't like to have to do that continuaously (for any other baby sitting occasions)

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