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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Letter from ex-bff, forgive/forget, I'm so confused

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 72 Replies

To make a long story short, in 2003 I found out my bff and my husband slept together.  Well it wasn't even that, it was basically just a one time fucking but whatever.  I left my husband, we had no kids and had only been married 8 months.  She had been my bff for 12 years up to that point.  I also cut her off & never spoke to her again. 

It was excruciating, both my divorce and losing my best friend.  I had so many years of pain over this, I couldn't think straight, it was such a betrayal on both levels.  I finally met someone in 2010 and he's the best person I've ever known in my life.  We got married December 2011 and I'm expecting our first baby on Feb 2.  

Right after Christmas I got the longest letter from my ex-bff.  She has never contacted me since the day I found out about her & my ex.  She has been to therapy I guess, because she gave me all these reasons as to why she might have betrayed me like that & told me how she's grown & changed.  She begged me to be her friend again and said when she heard I was pregnant she cried & cried over the loss of not going through it with me and not being able to know my baby and how much she's cried over the years.  (Me too). 

It opened up all those old wounds and I was a crying mess for a couple of days but I got myself together.

I can't believe I would even consider being friends with her again.  But something in my heart misses her so much. 

Now I am second guessing myself all over the place because I put both of them behind me & moved on.  Why would I let her back in, when I didn't give him a second chance? 

So confused. 

WWYD? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:29 PM
10 moms liked this
no way in hell would I ever be her friend again
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:32 PM

See, that's why I posted here.  I think I need a jolt into reality.  I am 4 weeks from delivery, I am hormonal, and sentimental.  thanks!

sugareemommee
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a tough call.

Only you know what's in your heart.
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PinkyPan
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:37 PM

I wouldn't open that can of worms again. 

Tooth_Inspector
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't be her friend again, I wouldn't be able to get over that betrayal.
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katatrinakay
by Bronze Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:38 PM
I've been there... don't waste your time .. :(
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periwinkle163
by Silver Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:39 PM
4 moms liked this

 If it were me I would probably tell her I forgive her but just don't have room in my life for her anymore. I could never trust her again, however only you can really make a decision like that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Nope, I wouldn't let her back in. Nothing would convince me to forgive her, ever. She was a part of ruining your marriage and turning your life upside down. Focus on your baby and hubby! Leave room for a good friend not one that so carelessly ruined your life!

Quoting Anonymous:

See, that's why I posted here.  I think I need a jolt into reality.  I am 4 weeks from delivery, I am hormonal, and sentimental.  thanks!

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rebel_mommy09
by Bronze Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:41 PM
Don't do it.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 7:42 PM
No i couldn't do it.. Tell her bye
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