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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

No, you may not get a vasectomy and end my ability to procreate!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 252 Replies

I just gave birth to our third and fourth children, and my husband has now stated on multiple occasions in the month since they were born that he plans to get "cut".  My suspicion is that he is totally overwhelmed right now.  Knowing him, he would regret the choice.  Regardless, this is upsetting me for two reasons.  

1- Getting "cut" is a circumcision.  Getting "snipped" is a vasectomy.  I have held my tongue, but I feel every inch of my body tense up every time he says it.  It sounds stupid.  He doesn't need to get "cut".  He was circumcised 30 years ago.

2- He knew very well from the beginning of our relationship that I am opposed to permanent sterilization as a birth control method within the context of marriage.  I very clearly stated that a vasectomy or tubal ligation would not be something that I would consider.  I said that I could not feel good about making that choice as a couple, and I was not willing to enter a marriage that kept that possibility open.  And years later, here we are... married.  And here he is... talking about getting a vasectomy.

This is not about beliefs on vasectomies.  It isn't about who gets to decide.  It's about honoring your partner enough to respect their beliefs and make good on the promises that were made and arrangements that were agreed to before the marriage.

Am I wrong?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM
24 moms liked this
You don't really get a choice about what he wants to do with his body
KeenaStarr
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
It sounds like he's just overwhelmed. I'd let it go for now.
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RMB2011
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
O.o
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scperdomo
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
21 moms liked this
Its not about who is right or wrong, clearly, after 4 kids, your husband's position has changed. Its a conversation you and your husband need to have.
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Buggy979
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM
3 moms liked this
Wow, not your choice. If he doesn't want anymore you should respect his choice...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes you are wrong. Why are you so against it?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I would respect the arrangement that we made prior to getting married.

Quoting KeenaStarr:

How would you feel if the roles were reversed?


lovinmyboys...
by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
7 moms liked this
It would not end your ability to procreate, it would end his.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
15 moms liked this

Does your husband have a say in any of this?  You'd better listen to his side unless you're looking to be a single mom with 4 kids.

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