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No, you may not get a vasectomy and end my ability to procreate!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I just gave birth to our third and fourth children, and my husband has now stated on multiple occasions in the month since they were born that he plans to get "cut".  My suspicion is that he is totally overwhelmed right now.  Knowing him, he would regret the choice.  Regardless, this is upsetting me for two reasons.  

1- Getting "cut" is a circumcision.  Getting "snipped" is a vasectomy.  I have held my tongue, but I feel every inch of my body tense up every time he says it.  It sounds stupid.  He doesn't need to get "cut".  He was circumcised 30 years ago.

2- He knew very well from the beginning of our relationship that I am opposed to permanent sterilization as a birth control method within the context of marriage.  I very clearly stated that a vasectomy or tubal ligation would not be something that I would consider.  I said that I could not feel good about making that choice as a couple, and I was not willing to enter a marriage that kept that possibility open.  And years later, here we are... married.  And here he is... talking about getting a vasectomy.

This is not about beliefs on vasectomies.  It isn't about who gets to decide.  It's about honoring your partner enough to respect their beliefs and make good on the promises that were made and arrangements that were agreed to before the marriage.

Am I wrong?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM
Replies (251-252):
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 3:35 PM
I read your post. It's easy to say that before having children and such.
You sound very unreasonable. And slightly selfish, as you make it seem like it's all about you and what you want.

Quoting Anonymous:

We made this decision together... several years ago.  Before we married, we agreed that we would not pursue any type of permanent procedures for birth control.

Did you read the post, or did you respond to the title?

Quoting UxorQuodMatris.:

Why do you get to make the choice alone? This is a decision you need to make together.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 47 on Jan. 7, 2013 at 3:45 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Since we agreed to no tubals/vasectomies prior to getting married, yes.  I would fully expect him to tell me absolutely not if I told him I wanted a tubal ligation.

Quoting Anonymous:

So if you wanted to get your tubes tied and he told you no you can't you'd be fine with that? 

His body his choice, if he doesn't want anymore children then thats his choice. People change their minds all the time. 


 You've given the same reply in almost every post you've responded to....I guess what I'm trying to say is that I guess if your DH goes ahead with a vasectomy then you my dear are SOL. Suck it up buttercup. :) If you want more kids you could always use a sperm bank.

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