Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I want to get my tubes tied and he says no

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm done having kids, we decided on three and that's what we have. Our youngest is 3 and I'm done with the toddler stage and ready for the next chapter in our lives and for me that means permanent birth control like getting my tubes tied or essure. My husband thinks differently. He thinks we may want another child down the road and we will regret it but I know I won't. I love my kids to death but 3 is enough, I can't handle anymore.

I hate to go behind his back and get it done when he's out of town but I know I'm done having kids.



Let me clarify what I mean when I say getting it done behind his back. He works out of town for 6 weeks at a time. I'd secretly set up the procedure for a time when he's at work and I'd tell him either the night before or the day of when it would be too late for him to come home.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Replies (11-20):
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:50 AM

I'd hate to have you do a tubal, but maybe you can talk him into Essure as it can be removed and you can still get pregnant if it's removed.

Leobaby2007
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:50 AM

If you are 100% sure about this, do it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:51 AM
No what I read is essure is pretty much permanent, it scars your tubes.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I'd hate to have you do a tubal, but maybe you can talk him into Essure as it can be removed and you can still get pregnant if it's removed.

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Essure is premanent BC
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:52 AM
No, not troll fail. He and I have been talking about this for 3 years off and on and I had hoped he would change his mind but I don't think he will.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Troll fail

ilana_ny
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this
This procedure just scares me for some reason. What if you will have to have another baby for some reason. What if you remarry:-) (I hope not, but it happens)? There is so many "what ifs" . Me, personally, I will never do it, especially if your DH disagree. There are a lot of other options/BCs.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
WithHope
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this
We had 3 and did it. We thought about that "what if" down the road, but figured at that point we'd consider adoption.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:54 AM

When I had mine done, I never even asked my husband.  I just told him I was doing it.  And the doctor (whom he didn't know, we had moved to a new state) never even asked if I WAS married.  Just made sure it was something I wanted done, and explained the permanence of it (as in, if your spouse and kids were all killed, would you ever want to have another kid - if the answer is even maybe, don't do it).

I went in as an outpatient to the surgical center, had it done (15 minute procedure), then had to stay there for 2 hours.  He picked me up (he had been out picking up the kids from preschool).  I came home, slept, got up, ate dinner, went back to bed.  Nexxt day I was back to doing everything I normally did, no pain (well, maybe a cramp or two).  Only had a small bandaid over my belly button, with 2 dissolvable stitches).  Couldn't swim or take a bath for 6 weeks, but I never take baths anyway - although not being able to swim bugged me a bit.

It was never an issue.

loisl25
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:55 AM
4 moms liked this

Is this a spinoff of the post where the woman's hubby wants a vasectomy and she doesn't want him to do it?

lancet98
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:55 AM

Talk to him some more, see if it is possible to get him to understand that you won't have more kids.

I would suggest you cosider if you would want to have kids if you remarried...

How much a husband really has to say about your reproductive status is debatable - people will say that he is the boss and whatever he decides goes because 'he is the man', all the way to 'go get it done and don't tell him, it's your business'.   Hopefully you can both come to terms on it.   I've seen marriages break up over such issues when thre was no possible compromise and husband and wife were just worlds apart on this issue.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN